Not everyone turns out how they were raised.

For example, one born into a racists conservative home, and raised in that environment may end up marrying someone outside of their race and may not be racist or conservative themself.

I don't think I used the word only.

yes, you are correct tots :)

my mother and father are very racist, but I'm not. I'm sure they have their reasons to hate, where I have no reason to hate, I just see them as people like myself :)

double post

A paret or guardians job is never over so therefor it's never too late....and children dot always turn out exactly the way you want them to no matter how much you try to lead by example....that doesn't mean you stop trying. And it isn't my parents fault for some of my flaws so I wouldn't blame them....nor would I say anything crazy like my nieces flaws arent a product of her independent thoughts either.

lol i had to chuckle aat the "stinkin teenagers", yes, i remember being that age once, and well yes, i already knew everything there was to know back then lol...

its a tough age, all you can do is try to talk to her and relate on her level. maybe share a story that you've experienced or someone you know has.

wishing you all the luck, its a tough time at their age.... heck its a tough time at our age! haha

Teens are aliens i tell you...ALIENS!!

I should know...i was abducted by aliens at aged 13, and returned when i was aged 20. 7 years of being herded with fellow teen aliens into thinking i was the shizzz by taking up smoking, wearing pancake make-up, freaking out over pimples, boys and fashion. Adults were there just to rebel against, because what did they know right??

But no worries...you've only got a few more years of this...you'll survive.

Still think there ought to be a Teen Instruction Manual though

LOL it is funny to joke around about teenagers and their problems but they are just budding adults that will benifit from kindness, support, and a little guidance how to handle life situations.

Sounds like you are making the right steps toward listening to your neice's problems and not over reacting and looking for support from your friends.

Sadly with many highschools underfunded, over populated, and so many families in crisis that she may be having a tough time dealing with someone who really is trampleing her boundiries of fairness and so on bringing problems to school that have nothing to do with her.

I would keep an eye on the problem and make absolutely sure things are not geting too far out of hand. Maybe showing up at school for more activites, encourageing her to be in groups that do positive things, maybe even helping her with making best grades possible so her teacher's like her and will look out for her. Make sure she is eating healthy, exerciseing, and getting enough sleep so she is prepared to cope. Keep and eye on her computer and cell phone in a way that she knows you care and support her.

Even if you want to stomp a mudhole in somebody don't try to handle fire with fire because it only makes things worse.

That said I would watch for any tell tale signs that abuse exists such as bruiseing, limping, soreness, or change in eating habits. A trip to the pediatrician is nt a bad idea because you want her to have another adult she can trust outside of the school setting and home to turn to for help. Especially if the stress starts causeing problems.

Good luck. Sounds like a pretty good kid if she is talking to you and being a friendly "alien" .