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| Topic: Traditional or Modern? | |
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I believe in a traditional arrangement.
She works, and I sit at home and get fat. |
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Traditional.....
with a flare for the Modern!!!!!! 
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It fluctuates as of late. It was that I was doing the dishes mostly. She always doing the cooking. We both seem to be recluses in our separate bedrooms. Her health seems to be the dividing factor. I think it has been the start of the fifth year as her as my boarder. A relationship that she needed a place for just the first winter. She still isolates but not as bad as she first did. I was thinking she must have gotten used to the jail cell space as her room is pretty much the same size. I was starting to feel like Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater there for a while.
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The good of the majority versus the good of the couple!
If "family" ALWAYS takes priority the relationship of the couple will, usually, suffer. IMO one big mistake of couples with children is the kids always take the priority. The only time (forget quality time) left over is at the end of a day or week when all are exhausted and have no energy for each other. It's no wonder love and interest between husband and wife dies. I understand this sounds heretical but if couples never set aside QUALITY time they eventually become roommates with a legal marriage license. When I was young our parents didn't shuttle us everywhere. They weren't our personal chauffeurs to everything from t-ball to cheer leader practice. If we played football (grade school) we were part of the NFL (Neighborhood Football League). At dinner time it was "REQUIRED" that we stop playing and site down together and eat. Old fashioned? Out of touch? Not opened minded? Believe what you will but in todays world the family is no longer a close unit. We are fragmented and we allow ourselves to be pulled in every direction. The one negative side effect is husband and wife are there to provide shuttle service and pay function dues, seldom spending quality time with each other. For the last 30 years industry (selling sports goods) and media have promoted this life style. Some have never known what real family life is like. To suggest restricting "some" of this tumult and restrict video games and Internet usage would be considered unAmerican. Within a marriage each man and woman has an emotional bank account. If we never deposit anything then we only make withdrawals. My generation (60's) use to ask "do our parents love us"? Usually the father answered by saying, "I work, pay the bills, feed and cloth you and you have to ask this kind of question"? Our answer: "we don't want so much what you have. We want you and your time". Today kids ask, "do our parents love each other"? ... and we seriously don't understand what is happening to marriage in our nation? |
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I can't see myself being a stay at home wife. And I would expect the man to share in the cooking and cleaning duties.
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If "family" ALWAYS takes priority the relationship of the couple will, usually, suffer. IMO one big mistake of couples with children is the kids always take the priority. The only time (forget quality time) left over is at the end of a day or week when all are exhausted and have no energy for each other. It's no wonder love and interest between husband and wife dies. I understand this sounds heretical but if couples never set aside QUALITY time they eventually become roommates with a legal marriage license. I see this a lot, too. |
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My life is not a tradition per say. I live it daily in a way that will bring me happiness.
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The good of the majority versus the good of the couple! If "family" ALWAYS takes priority the relationship of the couple will, usually, suffer. IMO one big mistake of couples with children is the kids always take the priority. The only time (forget quality time) left over is at the end of a day or week when all are exhausted and have no energy for each other. It's no wonder love and interest between husband and wife dies. I understand this sounds heretical but if couples never set aside QUALITY time they eventually become roommates with a legal marriage license. When I was young our parents didn't shuttle us everywhere. They weren't our personal chauffeurs to everything from t-ball to cheer leader practice. If we played football (grade school) we were part of the NFL (Neighborhood Football League). At dinner time it was "REQUIRED" that we stop playing and site down together and eat. Old fashioned? Out of touch? Not opened minded? Believe what you will but in todays world the family is no longer a close unit. We are fragmented and we allow ourselves to be pulled in every direction. The one negative side effect is husband and wife are there to provide shuttle service and pay function dues, seldom spending quality time with each other. For the last 30 years industry (selling sports goods) and media have promoted this life style. Some have never known what real family life is like. To suggest restricting "some" of this tumult and restrict video games and Internet usage would be considered unAmerican. Within a marriage each man and woman has an emotional bank account. If we never deposit anything then we only make withdrawals. My generation (60's) use to ask "do our parents love us"? Usually the father answered by saying, "I work, pay the bills, feed and cloth you and you have to ask this kind of question"? Our answer: "we don't want so much what you have. We want you and your time". Today kids ask, "do our parents love each other"? Think this theory deserves a big AMEn. Sadly we often have people telling us that work is not love made visable where in reality it is getting harder and harder to earn even basic necessities. Often times with both parents working every hour they can get just to keep the rent and utilities paid, pArents are skippong not only health care but nutrition and often even sleep. Anger, frustration, and even depression are common when people are doing everything they can possible do and still falling behind as far as t eh standards we are told is the measure of sucess. Used to be people felt privileged to have a car, a phone, and living with your family was expected not shameful. ... and we seriously don't understand what is happening to marriage in our nation? |
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I know it's not everybody's cup of tea now a days, but I'm very happy to have traditional. Of course that's not always how life works out.
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In a relationship, do you have more traditional values or more modern? Give examples of each so that I know what you are talking about. A traditional relationship is the whole Working man, and the wife stays home with the kids, cleans the house, cooks. That kind of thing. And Modern is the opposite. lol balanced, I am traditional in believing the woman should probably have a more 'natural' tendency to nurture and the man should be more of a 'natural' worker/provider I am modern in understanding there are no absolutes and in modern economy, it is usually much more difficult to maintain a family on one average income,,,,so either the father has a very good job, or father and mother have to work average jobs, or the mother have a really good job but, to be completely honest, something in my just isnt comfortable with providing financially for a grown man when I know I will be naturally taking care of the 'domestic' things too (the domestic is a strong part of my nature) |
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Life, for most has become such that it is a necessity to have two incomes.
I dont personally know any couples who can afford the "traditional" as it is described here. as for me..... I can clean, but I don't like to. I can cook and I'm rather good at it.....so time together in the kitchen can be.....fun. I don't mind the outdoor chores, but those are better shared too. I guess I have learned with age, that sharing the good and not so good things is better. Its all about quality time together. If helpin with the cleaning and the dishes is time we can spend together.....and it gets done faster so we can move on to better things....... Then I guess I am............. Modern!!!!! |
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As long as I am fed and sexed, and can watch the super bowl in peace,I'll give a woman any kind of marriage she wants, come on after all I am a guy, most woman have known this about men for the past 5,000 years of civilization.
NOW GET ME MY SANDWICH !!! 
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As long as I am fed and sexed, and can watch the super bowl in peace,I'll give a woman any kind of marriage she wants, come on after all I am a guy, most woman have known this about men for the past 5,000 years of civilization. NOW GET ME MY SANDWICH !!!
Is this how you usually get a woman?: 
If you do, then this is what will happen: 
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As long as I am fed and sexed, and can watch the super bowl in peace,I'll give a woman any kind of marriage she wants, come on after all I am a guy, most woman have known this about men for the past 5,000 years of civilization. NOW GET ME MY SANDWICH !!!
It's already Made! lol |
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If "family" ALWAYS takes priority the relationship of the couple will, usually, suffer. IMO one big mistake of couples with children is the kids always take the priority. The only time (forget quality time) left over is at the end of a day or week when all are exhausted and have no energy for each other. It's no wonder love and interest between husband and wife dies. I understand this sounds heretical but if couples never set aside QUALITY time they eventually become roommates with a legal marriage license. I see this a lot, too. I agree also - I have been slammed before for saying that when I see a profile where someone says "my children come first and always will" I think to myself - he's not ready, and he still hasn't learned....one's marital partner must always be the priority for the marriage to remain viable & healthy, and if the marriage ain't healthy - the family unit will not be either - it all begins and hinges on THAT relationship |
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as to the OP - I am fairly traditional with a hint of modern
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Edited by
bastet126
on
Sun 03/04/12 07:20 AM
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As long as I am fed and sexed, and can watch the super bowl in peace,I'll give a woman any kind of marriage she wants, come on after all I am a guy, most woman have known this about men for the past 5,000 years of civilization. NOW GET ME MY SANDWICH !!!
it's 3rd and goal, get yer own damn sammich :)~ modern?? ...i would add, not so much by choice, but necessity. |
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I admire and respect anyone who puts their children first while they are children. My view is that the alternative is irresponsible. Balance. It's all about the proper balance. |
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I admire and respect anyone who puts their children first while they are children. My view is that the alternative is irresponsible. my view is that it is irresponsible to let a marriage die and teach children that the sun rises and sets on their every move better to allow them to see a loving relationship at work to prepare them for adulthood as ADULTS not large spoiled .....people |
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I admire and respect anyone who puts their children first while they are children. My view is that the alternative is irresponsible. Balance. It's all about the proper balance. exactly - it is not one way or the other all of the time - the two are not mutually exclusive if the marriage is not prioritized, however, the family unit will die |
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