Topic: When a Guy Says
stefy's photo
Wed 02/29/12 11:49 AM

"We are not going to do things on your terms"

...wtf does that mean?


Means run away while you can!

MariahsFantasy's photo
Wed 02/29/12 11:52 AM


No compromise, no mutuality. His way. End of.


My thoughts...exactly this.

Basically, he wants to dictate the terms of the 'relationship' or he's gone. My way or the highway baby laugh


I guess you would never think this getting to know the "good" side of them, when they actually do talk.

MariahsFantasy's photo
Wed 02/29/12 11:53 AM
Edited by MariahsFantasy on Wed 02/29/12 11:54 AM

It means he might be still living in a fantasy world.


Funny, I thought that was me! Well I won't know what's real or not if he says nothing about it. I'm here to listen if he wants to talk. But is that so bad? Wanting to give someone a chance to explain their side?

no photo
Wed 02/29/12 11:54 AM



No compromise, no mutuality. His way. End of.


My thoughts...exactly this.

Basically, he wants to dictate the terms of the 'relationship' or he's gone. My way or the highway baby laugh


I guess you would never think this getting to know the "good" side of them, when they actually do talk.


A smart control freak knows all the right areas to probe before he ever gives off any signs of being what he is. He has to check for useful vulnerabilities and clues that will let him know what to say and how to act in order to get the person comfortable....

Dodo_David's photo
Wed 02/29/12 11:55 AM
Sure, you always see the good side at the beginning.

no photo
Wed 02/29/12 11:56 AM
Edited by 42BlackBBW on Wed 02/29/12 12:00 PM



No compromise, no mutuality. His way. End of.


My thoughts...exactly this.

Basically, he wants to dictate the terms of the 'relationship' or he's gone. My way or the highway baby laugh


I guess you would never think this getting to know the "good" side of them, when they actually do talk.


Well you never think that they want to wear a nappy and call ya ‘mama’ either untll they talk but they do...laugh.

Not trying to make light of your sitch but I'm no longer all that surprised by what can come out of a guy's mouth when he starts talking.

no photo
Wed 02/29/12 11:59 AM




No compromise, no mutuality. His way. End of.


My thoughts...exactly this.

Basically, he wants to dictate the terms of the 'relationship' or he's gone. My way or the highway baby laugh


I guess you would never think this getting to know the "good" side of them, when they actually do talk.


A smart control freak knows all the right areas to probe before he ever gives off any signs of being what he is. He has to check for useful vulnerabilities and clues that will let him know what to say and how to act in order to get the person comfortable....


Yes, some are really clever in that regard.

MariahsFantasy's photo
Wed 02/29/12 11:59 AM




No compromise, no mutuality. His way. End of.


My thoughts...exactly this.

Basically, he wants to dictate the terms of the 'relationship' or he's gone. My way or the highway baby laugh


I guess you would never think this getting to know the "good" side of them, when they actually do talk.


A smart control freak knows all the right areas to probe before he ever gives off any signs of being what he is. He has to check for useful vulnerabilities and clues that will let him know what to say and how to act in order to get the person comfortable....


While I agree with everything, I feel like its something deeper. I don't think that's what he is. Honestly I don't know what to think anymore. I thought people could be straight with each other, talk, get things out, work whatever problems OR confessions they could. Can't force it. I feel this is something more than just a control freak. Deep down maybe I don't believe he is.

s1owhand's photo
Wed 02/29/12 12:03 PM
Edited by s1owhand on Wed 02/29/12 12:04 PM
It means:

"We are not going to be doing anything meaningful here...how about something totally meaningless?"

(i found it using google translate)

laugh

no photo
Wed 02/29/12 12:06 PM
Obviously I am only taking this in the context of the question you posted but someone would only say this IF he felt that you were trying to control the direction of the relationship or he wanted control it.

I can’t see why someone would use that wording if it wasn’t about control but that’s only my opinion.

MariahsFantasy's photo
Wed 02/29/12 12:09 PM

It means:

"We are not going to be doing anything meaningful here...how about something totally meaningless?"

(i found it using google translate)

laugh


laugh

I feel enlightened now, like the Dali Lama.

MariahsFantasy's photo
Wed 02/29/12 12:12 PM

Obviously I am only taking this in the context of the question you posted but someone would only say this IF he felt that you were trying to control the direction of the relationship or he wanted control it.

I can’t see why someone would use that wording if it wasn’t about control but that’s only my opinion.



I didn't see what I was doing so much as controlling here. I just don't bury my head in the sand when it comes to saying what's on my mind. I guess that's where we differ. Maybe he thought I was trying to control him in some way by giving him some green lights. Wasn't the truth of it.

no photo
Wed 02/29/12 12:22 PM


Obviously I am only taking this in the context of the question you posted but someone would only say this IF he felt that you were trying to control the direction of the relationship or he wanted control it.

I can’t see why someone would use that wording if it wasn’t about control but that’s only my opinion.



I didn't see what I was doing so much as controlling here. I just don't bury my head in the sand when it comes to saying what's on my mind. I guess that's where we differ. Maybe he thought I was trying to control him in some way by giving him some green lights. Wasn't the truth of it.


I don't bury my head in the sand either but I have met a lot of control freaks in lots of guises - one was so persuasive, I didn't even realise that was what he was doing until much later and I thought I was pretty astute...maybe my personality/inner self belief attracts them idk.

Keeping both eyes open is never a bad thing..good luck :smile:

no photo
Wed 02/29/12 12:41 PM


Obviously I am only taking this in the context of the question you posted but someone would only say this IF he felt that you were trying to control the direction of the relationship or he wanted control it.

I can’t see why someone would use that wording if it wasn’t about control but that’s only my opinion.



I didn't see what I was doing so much as controlling here. I just don't bury my head in the sand when it comes to saying what's on my mind. I guess that's where we differ. Maybe he thought I was trying to control him in some way by giving him some green lights. Wasn't the truth of it.


You didn't give the context of the statement, though. We have no idea what it was actually about.

soufiehere's photo
Wed 02/29/12 12:42 PM

"We are not going to do things
on your terms"
...wtf does that mean?


It means, he is getting better terms elsewhere.
If he is a banker, this is okay.
If he is doing some time at State, I might
change the terms.

Lpdon's photo
Wed 02/29/12 12:44 PM

"We are not going to do things on your terms"

...wtf does that mean?



It means he thinks he is in charge and calls the shots.

MariahsFantasy's photo
Wed 02/29/12 12:46 PM


"We are not going to do things on your terms"

...wtf does that mean?



It means he thinks he is in charge and calls the shots.


I like you bigsmile

Lpdon's photo
Wed 02/29/12 12:47 PM




No compromise, no mutuality. His way. End of.


My thoughts...exactly this.

Basically, he wants to dictate the terms of the 'relationship' or he's gone. My way or the highway baby laugh


I guess you would never think this getting to know the "good" side of them, when they actually do talk.


A smart control freak knows all the right areas to probe before he ever gives off any signs of being what he is. He has to check for useful vulnerabilities and clues that will let him know what to say and how to act in order to get the person comfortable....


Basically a Sociopath.

Lpdon's photo
Wed 02/29/12 12:50 PM



"We are not going to do things on your terms"

...wtf does that mean?



It means he thinks he is in charge and calls the shots.


I like you bigsmile


Why, cause I tell it how it is and I dont sugar coat it? bigsmile

MariahsFantasy's photo
Wed 02/29/12 01:29 PM

It means he doesnt care about you, but he's interested in using you, generally speaking. Hopefully he was kidding?


Possibly...its easy to think that based on what I know. Hmm I don't feel he was kidding.