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| Topic: Advice please | |
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yup places you in the negatory in my mind I am also shy & reclusive because of a scar and am very reluctant to let anyone see it - so it WILL take someone very special to get me back into bed.... but all pictures I have of myself are all me - unretouched - no doctoring if I was your friend TBH - because u asked - I would tell u to go to ----- and would not care if u beleived me or not that my picture was me because all communication or hope of future contact would end with that request as u described it sorry I do not mean any offense but u asked - and for me- I would break all contact & block u most likely she is being far nicer than I would be in the same circumstance you have pictures and she thinks me special I can not move forward emotionally if I do not know wit whom I am moving forward with. I have been completely open and offered her the same respect if she has any concerns. I do feel a little mean if she is being being truthful this time round but did not think ti a defreinding offense. especially. if considered special it's between the 2 of you and I hope the best for you I was simply sharing my reaction - not trying to say anything about u in that case - with a man who could not move forward - I would say - Oh well next... So when guys want to know the real you, you toss them aside? if they try to coerce me in ANY way yes I asked her not forced her, she could have said no. Simply told her that could not be as close as she wanted with out knowing for sure. We could remain the friends we have been all this time but she has deeper feelings then that and would like to get closer. To be close to me I must be close to her as well and to do that I need to know who she is. Scars don't bother me lying does. wrong blackmail the picture as I want it OR you lose coercive - if she wants a relationship with you (a closer one) she has to comply - that's emotional blackmail if she does not see it that way then perhaps you lucked out you are accusing her of lying and she DID provide a photo Iam already running in the opposite direction jmho |
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wrong blackmail the picture as I want it OR you lose coercive - if she wants a relationship with you she has to comply - that's emotional blackmail if she does not see it that way then perhaps you lucked out Blackmail?! Because he asked for a picture or said they could not become closer? Are you telling us that you'd spend a lot of time getting to know someone who did not want to show you what they looked like? I certainly wouldn't. As I said before, if I'm even going to think about meeting someone, they must have recent pictures. So, I see absolutely nothing at all wrong with asking someone for a recent picture. It's all about being honest and upfront about who you are. They can choose not to share recent pictures, just as I could choose not to get closer to them and meet them. |
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Edited by
DaddyTime
on
Tue 02/14/12 07:25 PM
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wrong
blackmail the picture as I want it OR you lose coercive - if she wants a relationship with you she has to comply - that's emotional blackmail if she does not see it that way then perhaps you lucked out so me telling her everything and her telling me nothing and wanting more is not unfair? I am supposed to risk myself when she won't even show me a picture? How is it blackmail? you can't get what you want for nothing, you can't expect someone you want a relationship with someone they don't know. That like going up to a random door in a city you never been to and telling the person inside that you love them. You can't have feeling for someone you don't know. I an not a guy looking for sex or cyber where who you are does not matter. I am a guy who wants to open himself up and share his life good and bad. can't do that with a stranger and a stranger can't expect it. |
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Ya know..
I remember a time.. ..not too long ago. When I had two females.. ..wanting to rip my head off and go bowling. ..and they were both named Sweet. Now watching them go at each other.. ..I must say.. ..it's kinda hawt. xD |
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Ya know.. I remember a time.. ..not too long ago. When I had two females.. ..wanting to rip my head off and go bowling. ..and they were both named Sweet. Now watching them go at each other.. ..I must say.. ..it's kinda hawt. xD my college bowling teacher wanted in my pants |
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Edited by
sweetestgirl11
on
Tue 02/14/12 07:32 PM
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wrong
blackmail the picture as I want it OR you lose coercive - if she wants a relationship with you she has to comply - that's emotional blackmail if she does not see it that way then perhaps you lucked out so me telling her everything and her telling me nothing and wanting more is not unfair? I am supposed to risk myself when she won't even show me a picture? How is it blackmail? you can't get what you want for nothing, you can't expect someone you want a relationship with someone they don't know. That like going up to a random door in a city you never been to and telling the person inside that you love them. You can't have feeling for someone you don't know. I an not a guy looking for sex or cyber where who you are does not matter. I am a guy who wants to open himself up and share his life good and bad. can't so that with a stranger and a stranger can't expect it. I am tempted to just ignore here because my honest feeling is that if you do not understand how coercion and holding a friendship hostage is emotional blackmail, then I doubt you will understand anything else I have to say people come together - they form a bond - it grows in time - sometimes closer - sometimes not accusing someone of possibly lying when they have already complied with your wishes? no withdrawing your love/friendship/closeness because you cant' have your way??? (as in that is what will happen if she does not comply) is not just emotional blackmail, it's childish any time I hear my way or the highway I think it's not good - if my way or the highway involves with holding of affection - blackmail of the emotional kind meet her - if u like her fine - if not w/e - don't go any further with it, but don't force her to provide a photo just to be wiht you she has been though enough ......... end/ nevre asked you to agree - just sayin' how I'd see it if she was me with me being in a similar situation with my scar Oh and I did have a guy on here give me the "my way or the highway" on here last spring....just no - we will never be friends now |
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Ya know.. I remember a time.. ..not too long ago. When I had two females.. ..wanting to rip my head off and go bowling. ..and they were both named Sweet. Now watching them go at each other.. ..I must say.. ..it's kinda hawt. xD You're not so bad anymore. 
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Edited by
DaddyTime
on
Tue 02/14/12 07:37 PM
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wrong
blackmail the picture as I want it OR you lose coercive - if she wants a relationship with you she has to comply - that's emotional blackmail if she does not see it that way then perhaps you lucked out so me telling her everything and her telling me nothing and wanting more is not unfair? I am supposed to risk myself when she won't even show me a picture? How is it blackmail? you can't get what you want for nothing, you can't expect someone you want a relationship with someone they don't know. That like going up to a random door in a city you never been to and telling the person inside that you love them. You can't have feeling for someone you don't know. I an not a guy looking for sex or cyber where who you are does not matter. I am a guy who wants to open himself up and share his life good and bad. can't so that with a stranger and a stranger can't expect it. I am tempted to just ignore here because my honest feeling is that if you do not understand how coercion and holding a friendship hostage is emotional blackmail, then I doubt you will understand anything else I have to say people come together - they form a bond - it grows in time - sometimes closer - sometimes not accusing someone of possibly lying when they have already complied with your wishes? no withdrawing your love/friendship/closeness because you cant' have your way??? (as in that is what will happen if she does not comply) is not just emotional blackmail, it's childish any time I hear my way or the highway I think it's not good - if my way or the highway involves with holding of affection - blackmail of the emotional kind meet her - if u like her fine - if not w/e - don't go any further with it, but don't force her to provide a photo just to be wiht you she has been though enough ......... end/ nevre asked you to agree - just sayin' how I'd see it if she was me with me being in a similar situation with my scar Oh and I did have a guy on here give me the "my way or the highway" on here last spring....just no - we will never be friends now I think you're own issue here are not letting you see the real issue in my case, but I thank you for you're opinions. oh ad she will be here shortly :) |
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wrong blackmail the picture as I want it OR you lose coercive - if she wants a relationship with you she has to comply - that's emotional blackmail if she does not see it that way then perhaps you lucked out Blackmail?! Because he asked for a picture or said they could not become closer? Are you telling us that you'd spend a lot of time getting to know someone who did not want to show you what they looked like? I certainly wouldn't. As I said before, if I'm even going to think about meeting someone, they must have recent pictures. So, I see absolutely nothing at all wrong with asking someone for a recent picture. It's all about being honest and upfront about who you are. They can choose not to share recent pictures, just as I could choose not to get closer to them and meet them. I agree. I wouldn't want a surprise waiting for me. |
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Everyone is different and needs different things to feel secure.
If she can except the things that you need to feel secure in being her friend, then that's a good start. But honestly, you are not looking at this as a love relationship, but as a friendship, so really friendship is about trust, and you both have to build that and accept each other. There may be things later that she asks of you as well. Just enjoy your friendship each one is special |
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Everyone is different and needs different things to feel secure. If she can except the things that you need to feel secure in being her friend, then that's a good start. But honestly, you are not looking at this as a love relationship, but as a friendship, so really friendship is about trust, and you both have to build that and accept each other. There may be things later that she asks of you as well. Just enjoy your friendship each one is special Right you are, Josie. I'm glad to see you participating. Is your mate still posting things? |
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wrong
blackmail the picture as I want it OR you lose coercive - if she wants a relationship with you she has to comply - that's emotional blackmail if she does not see it that way then perhaps you lucked out so me telling her everything and her telling me nothing and wanting more is not unfair? I am supposed to risk myself when she won't even show me a picture? How is it blackmail? you can't get what you want for nothing, you can't expect someone you want a relationship with someone they don't know. That like going up to a random door in a city you never been to and telling the person inside that you love them. You can't have feeling for someone you don't know. I an not a guy looking for sex or cyber where who you are does not matter. I am a guy who wants to open himself up and share his life good and bad. can't so that with a stranger and a stranger can't expect it. I am tempted to just ignore here because my honest feeling is that if you do not understand how coercion and holding a friendship hostage is emotional blackmail, then I doubt you will understand anything else I have to say people come together - they form a bond - it grows in time - sometimes closer - sometimes not accusing someone of possibly lying when they have already complied with your wishes? no withdrawing your love/friendship/closeness because you cant' have your way??? (as in that is what will happen if she does not comply) is not just emotional blackmail, it's childish any time I hear my way or the highway I think it's not good - if my way or the highway involves with holding of affection - blackmail of the emotional kind meet her - if u like her fine - if not w/e - don't go any further with it, but don't force her to provide a photo just to be wiht you she has been though enough ......... end/ nevre asked you to agree - just sayin' how I'd see it if she was me with me being in a similar situation with my scar Oh and I did have a guy on here give me the "my way or the highway" on here last spring....just no - we will never be friends now I think you're own issue here are not letting you see the real issue in my case, but I thank you for you're opinions. oh ad she will be here shortly :) yes and no yes as said I was simply stating that it is something I would not put up with being that my situation is similar but I also have several very recent untouched photos on here but no in that I definitely do see the issue in your case-I simply do not agree - therefore you simply feel I don't see the issue because that would require admitting the validity of my opinion glad to hear she will visit u there are always surprises - I'd rather be surprised by what someone looks like than be surprised that they 're a moron |
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wrong
blackmail the picture as I want it OR you lose coercive - if she wants a relationship with you she has to comply - that's emotional blackmail if she does not see it that way then perhaps you lucked out so me telling her everything and her telling me nothing and wanting more is not unfair? I am supposed to risk myself when she won't even show me a picture? How is it blackmail? you can't get what you want for nothing, you can't expect someone you want a relationship with someone they don't know. That like going up to a random door in a city you never been to and telling the person inside that you love them. You can't have feeling for someone you don't know. I an not a guy looking for sex or cyber where who you are does not matter. I am a guy who wants to open himself up and share his life good and bad. can't do that with a stranger and a stranger can't expect it. So what does a picture have to do with any thing?? she has issues due to her scares.. the question should be will you accept her with her issues? what is it she wants from you ?? and really i can walk down the street and ask any one to hold a sign so i can take a pic... |
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So what does a picture have to do with any thing?? she has issues due to her scares.. the question should be will you accept her with her issues? what is it she wants from you ?? and really i can walk down the street and ask any one to hold a sign so i can take a pic... On a site like this, it's all about being honest about who you are. That includes sharing recent pictures. Sure, some people will lie, but that's life. |
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So what does a picture have to do with any thing?? she has issues due to her scares.. the question should be will you accept her with her issues? what is it she wants from you ?? and really i can walk down the street and ask any one to hold a sign so i can take a pic... On a site like this, it's all about being honest about who you are. That includes sharing recent pictures. Sure, some people will lie, but that's life. 
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wrong
blackmail the picture as I want it OR you lose coercive - if she wants a relationship with you she has to comply - that's emotional blackmail if she does not see it that way then perhaps you lucked out so me telling her everything and her telling me nothing and wanting more is not unfair? I am supposed to risk myself when she won't even show me a picture? How is it blackmail? you can't get what you want for nothing, you can't expect someone you want a relationship with someone they don't know. That like going up to a random door in a city you never been to and telling the person inside that you love them. You can't have feeling for someone you don't know. I an not a guy looking for sex or cyber where who you are does not matter. I am a guy who wants to open himself up and share his life good and bad. can't do that with a stranger and a stranger can't expect it. So what does a picture have to do with any thing?? she has issues due to her scares.. the question should be will you accept her with her issues? what is it she wants from you ?? and really i can walk down the street and ask any one to hold a sign so i can take a pic... exactly ya willya hold sign for me baby 
uh no - and u losE cuz I AM A FRUCKIN DD  (J/K)
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Edited by
sweetestgirl11
on
Tue 02/14/12 09:19 PM
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and where was ANYONE being dishonest? that was NOT happening probable cause was NOT there case dismissed
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just take ya time that all there no rush really when u know what you want u will know its hard when people are so far away just take it easy an be your self I was always a distrusting person, as i feel trust is earned not gambled on. But if all she says is true then I feel like an a$$ making her doing things that are hard on er simply to prove herself. there's your answer. quit being an a$$. it amazes me that adults have to ask for help like this online. and you don't even trust anybody online. |
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Sounds suspicious to me. But, it's not entirely unbelieveable. I don't think you were wrong to ask for the picture proof.
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No one has ever lied to me about their looks.
But, having been scammed here both emotionally and financially, I don't believe it is unreasonable to ask for reassurances. |
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