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| Topic: Advice please | |
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It comes across as selfish to me. I see that may not be whats happening, but that is how it comes across. I would not think he would be sensitive to my struggle and he would not be attractive to me if I were in her position. Just how I see it. I agree - it does come across that way because it was all about him - especially after the phone call - we aren't talking here JUST about providing pictures in general I think everyone agrees that is OK we are talking about a specific unique situation (as all are ultimately) where she complied with his request once - out of consideration for her - and in respect of that - what was his next move? If he is going to have potential issues with her scar he should move on |
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Sing, its not about YOUR reasons, its about consideration for the other person, and THEIR reasons. It's about both. You may not agree and that's fine. If you don't want to ask people for additional pictures, that is your choice. If someone I ask doesn't want to share another picture, that's their choice. It's all about choices and preferences. You are correct, but what I had asked was if someone told you that sharing pictures was difficult, and they sent one, would you then ask for more...knowing that it made them uncomfortable. I like pics and wont meet someone that doesnt provide one. If I met someone online that shared one but also told me they were uncomfortable doing so, I would not ask for more, unless it was too blurry to make out. Honestly, if someone told me they were too uncomfortable to share pictures, I'd probably just move on. I prefer confidence and honesty. That includes sharing recent, up-to-date pictures and having no problem in doing so. |
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Sing, have these people suffered injury, and told you they are uncomfortable with their appearance, then sent one anyway? And afterward, did you then request more? I don't need to give anyone but them reasons why I asked for more pictures. Each case is different. Just like the OP's situation. if someone asks me for a picture they defintely need to tell me why they want it sure, thats just not what I asked about Oh I realiaze that I think there has been some issue skirting here because he was definitely out of line he even came online to ask if we think he was out of line when some of us said yea he did not like that HELLOOOO - then don't ask 
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Sing, have these people suffered injury, and told you they are uncomfortable with their appearance, then sent one anyway? And afterward, did you then request more? I don't need to give anyone but them reasons why I asked for more pictures. Each case is different. Just like the OP's situation. if someone asks me for a picture they defintely need to tell me why they want it sure, thats just not what I asked about Oh I realiaze that I think there has been some issue skirting here because he was definitely out of line he even came online to ask if we think he was out of line when some of us said yea he did not like that HELLOOOO - then don't ask
I think just personally - for me - he sounds like a control freak - run forest run |
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Sing, its not about YOUR reasons, its about consideration for the other person, and THEIR reasons. It's about both. You may not agree and that's fine. If you don't want to ask people for additional pictures, that is your choice. If someone I ask doesn't want to share another picture, that's their choice. It's all about choices and preferences. You are correct, but what I had asked was if someone told you that sharing pictures was difficult, and they sent one, would you then ask for more...knowing that it made them uncomfortable. I like pics and wont meet someone that doesnt provide one. If I met someone online that shared one but also told me they were uncomfortable doing so, I would not ask for more, unless it was too blurry to make out. Honestly, if someone told me they were too uncomfortable to share pictures, I'd probably just move on. I prefer confidence and honesty. That includes sharing recent, up-to-date pictures and having no problem in doing so. realize there is another issue here - that is online misuse of personal photos I seldom provide "extras" and have actually thought of removing some of mine because of misuse - I 've even seen it on here - people copying personal photos possibly without permission - on here the use of the photos seems innocent enough (though I would probably complain about it) but scammers and porners steal adn use photos all the time if someone I have never met asks for a bunch of photos on a private email I am instantly suspicious they look no different there than they do on here |
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Sing, have these people suffered injury, and told you they are uncomfortable with their appearance, then sent one anyway? And afterward, did you then request more? I don't need to give anyone but them reasons why I asked for more pictures. Each case is different. Just like the OP's situation. if someone asks me for a picture they defintely need to tell me why they want it Right. I'd let the person know why I was asking. |
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Sing, have these people suffered injury, and told you they are uncomfortable with their appearance, then sent one anyway? And afterward, did you then request more? I don't need to give anyone but them reasons why I asked for more pictures. Each case is different. Just like the OP's situation. if someone asks me for a picture they defintely need to tell me why they want it Right. I'd let the person know why I was asking. and if they told you they felt they had provided enough? what is enough? |
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Sing, have these people suffered injury, and told you they are uncomfortable with their appearance, then sent one anyway? And afterward, did you then request more? I don't need to give anyone but them reasons why I asked for more pictures. Each case is different. Just like the OP's situation. if someone asks me for a picture they defintely need to tell me why they want it Right. I'd let the person know why I was asking. and if they told you they felt they had provided enough? what is enough? If their picture was not clear to start with, that's a reason I'd ask for another one. If they refused to provide one, I'd wish them luck in their search. As said before, I want to be able to pick them out when I show up to meet them. If I'm unable to do that, their picture was not enough. Luckily, I've never had an issue with being able to do that. |
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I was local to a gent who posted his pic with a full head of hair and pretty slim. I told him I wasnt interested romantically but I would say hi at the Y if I saw him there....I thought I was bein friendly. Anyhoo, I bumped into a fellow 50 pounds heavier that the man in question (AT LEAST), who was sporting a balding ring of hair. Needless to say, I did not recognis the guy. He was scowling at me the whole time and it wasnt til a day or so later I connected the dots on who he was.  
what I don't get is how he could have thought you would not notice the difference when you met?? |
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Sing, have these people suffered injury, and told you they are uncomfortable with their appearance, then sent one anyway? And afterward, did you then request more? I don't need to give anyone but them reasons why I asked for more pictures. Each case is different. Just like the OP's situation. if someone asks me for a picture they defintely need to tell me why they want it Right. I'd let the person know why I was asking. and if they told you they felt they had provided enough? what is enough? If their picture was not clear to start with, that's a reason I'd ask for another one. If they refused to provide one, I'd wish them luck in their search. As said before, I want to be able to pick them out when I show up to meet them. If I'm unable to do that, their picture was not enough. Luckily, I've never had an issue with being able to do that. yup that all seems reasonable |
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Well, in short, if guys pester me about recent pictures, its not curiosity. Is what I look like more important than getting to know me? You probably didn't mean this but that's what I'm getting from this thread.
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Well, in short, if guys pester me about recent pictures, its not curiosity. Is what I look like more important than getting to know me? You probably didn't mean this but that's what I'm getting from this thread. 
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I was local to a gent who posted his pic with a full head of hair and pretty slim. I told him I wasnt interested romantically but I would say hi at the Y if I saw him there....I thought I was bein friendly. Anyhoo, I bumped into a fellow 50 pounds heavier that the man in question (AT LEAST), who was sporting a balding ring of hair. Needless to say, I did not recognis the guy. He was scowling at me the whole time and it wasnt til a day or so later I connected the dots on who he was.
what I don't get is how he could have thought you would not notice the difference when you met?? I think he had a severe control problem, as well as being a tad narcicistic. Therefore his own pic was of little matter, because it was for my benefit. not sure I understand - but certainly we all want to post pictures that are good pictures - but it can only hinder things if the photo is like 20 years old...unfortunately people still do that I guess |
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Edited by
DaddyTime
on
Wed 02/15/12 11:50 AM
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all pix were fake it was one big lie, I was right so bite me.
nothing wrong with wanting to know who you're talking to, and after this I recommend all do what I did. Now I will be even more distrusting. |
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all pix were fake it was one big lie, I was right so bite me. nothing wrong with wanting to know who you're talking to, and after this I recommend all do what I did. Now I will be even more distrusting. Unfortunately, people will lie. Don't assume that everyone on here lies because of what happened, though. You may end up pushing good people away if you do that. |
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when someone send 2 pix that are not them
and admit it not being them you have, right to distrust anything else they send you. Insecurities or not you don't lie to someone you want a relationship with. Nothing can start based on lies. And if not checked BS like this happens. If I had not asked then what huh, I would have opened up to this person and would have got hurt. So yeah I am an a$$ hey because I did not accept her lies and caught her in them. |
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That's why I think it's perfectly acceptable to ask for a recent picture, just to make sure. If they're being honest, they shouldn't be offended by it. If they get offended by being asked for a recent picture, that would make me think something is up.
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all pix were fake it was one big lie, I was right so bite me. nothing wrong with wanting to know who you're talking to, and after this I recommend all do what I did. Now I will be even more distrusting. Unfortunately, people will lie. Don't assume that everyone on here lies because of what happened, though. You may end up pushing good people away if you do that. I talk to many girls, this is the 1st I distrusted, you need a reason not to be trusted. If you act honorably then there is no reason for distrust. If she had been totally upfront I would never have distrusted her like I don't distrust any other girls I currently talk to. I do not mind if I push away Dishonest people as I don't want those types in my life anyway. |
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all pix were fake it was one big lie, I was right so bite me. nothing wrong with wanting to know who you're talking to, and after this I recommend all do what I did. Now I will be even more distrusting. Unfortunately, people will lie. Don't assume that everyone on here lies because of what happened, though. You may end up pushing good people away if you do that. I talk to many girls, this is the 1st I distrusted, you need a reason not to be trusted. If you act honorably then there is no reason for distrust. If she had been totally upfront I would never have distrusted her like I don't distrust any other girls I currently talk to. I do not mind if I push away Dishonest people as I don't want those types in my life anyway.
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Oh and now the case is closed
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