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| Topic: Men what do you prefer | |
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'wwll part of the reason for me that I am big is due to in part I am slightly disabled, and for me I have to exercise less rigerously. I am going to the gym and working out and learning to eat differently. I will always be big however. If they do not like me as me to bad. 'but I am finding it helpful to hear what others have to say. Once was a work injury where a bunch of dry wall fell on me, and the other was a very bad car accident. Overall I have gained a bunch of weight. I used to be super skinny and tall, now I am 250ilb @ 6'4 which puts me into the obese category. I do work out on an elliptical, really the only way I can get aerobic work outs that do not put a lot of strain on my back or knees. Personally I think it is worth it to invest in a really good elliptical machine, park it in front of your tv, and work out 20 minutes twice daily. Keep the impact very low, and just increase the time spent. ie go slow, but take longer, you burn more fat that way anyways. |
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well in my opinion the harder issues are the ones that need to be spode of . Everyone is different. That is not a bad thing, maybe we can all learn from each other. I am big and finally learning to love myself. something everyone needs to do.
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I do find it strange the way so many men are vilified simply for having a preference. We are "shallow" and "superficial" and "manipulated" just because we're not attracted to what someone else thinks we're supposed to be attracted to. And I can't speak for anybody else, but I'm simply not attracted to the ones people think I should be attracted to. I don't understand how they think they're in any position to dictate to me what it is I'm supposed to like. I'm not saying they have to agree with it, but at least don't act like I've committed an unpardonable sin by not being attracted to this one or that one. The fact is, I'm not attracted to very many people at all. Only a few, only a couple of very well-defined types. That's it. I'm not saying the others are bad people. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with them. All I'm saying is that, on a very fundamental, visceral level, there's no attraction there. I wish people would stop taking this so personally. I like what I like, and name-calling is not going to make me change that. Everyone has their own preferences and that's completely fine with me. Some men call themselves shallow, such as mrbiscuit. The issue I have is that that when trying to justify their preference (why they feel the need to justify it, I have no idea) they insult those they don't find attractive. What's the purpose of doing this? It only serves to make themselves look bad. |
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I use that machine but am only up to three minutes on it. I do find that I enjoy it . I did not think I would . I love to swim to and I knowss that is good for all it keeps weight off injuys .
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Here's a plus sized model. Some men would say she's too fat. I think she's gorgeous. 
purdy  
That is not fat. that is what the average women looks like. But but but her thighs touch! With some men, that's a big no no. 
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Here's a plus sized model. Some men would say she's too fat. I think she's gorgeous.
purdy
That is not fat. that is what the average women looks like. But but but her thighs touch! With some men, that's a big no no.
She is proportioned correctly. Her thighs have a nice curve. Nothing saggy looks good to me. |
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Fat is ugly and unhealthy.       
1. As I said beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 2. There are some overweight ppl more healthier than thin ppl. 3. Ugly can be ugly if not uglier when it comes from mean words within. I'm not defending being over weight, there are other reasons for someone being over weight than they are just plain lazy and eat all the time. The above statement should be real encourging to any man or woman who is overweight. @ the lady who posted this thread. You do what you feel is right for you to do in order to make yourself the best mate for the man you want. If you feel you need to lose weight for more self esteem, to be healthier (which is the best reason)and you feel it would better your chances of finding a mate then you do that. But note this it doesn't matter even beautiful thin women have had men mess around on them and leave them. I'm just saying be yourself, love yourself, take care of yourself, and don't give a rats azz about what others think about you! I might get called on the red carpet for this one.  |
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well losing weight for me is a heath issue due to my disability. I need and want to do it for myself. I think no matter who we are we need to lofe ourselves first to have others love us.
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dinopoodle,
Absolutely. We have to love ourselves or at least know who we are (the good and bad) and own it. That (IMO) is more attractive and will shine through My sister is disabled with a blood disease. She used to be on a morphine drip and now takes the pain meds they give a 3rd degree burn victim. She is pretty much bed ridden and only gets out of the house for the doctor and special occasions....like Christmas. She has gained a lot of weight because she can't do anything. Her muscles are weakened. She can't even go into the sun for more than 15 min without blistering. But she knows who she is (she's also been happily married for 20 yrs) She was the one growing up that was on the heavy side (after mom's side of the family) and I was always skinny (after dad's side) We always envied each other growing up. We have each battled eating disorders when we were younger, for different reasons. I had it the worst and almost died from it. I was 5'7 and under 100 lbs. But we realized the grass isn't greener on the other side and we are now happy with who we are. HOWEVER....that being sad lol....questions like the topic is kind of a loaded question because people like who they like and sometimes gets trashed for their preferences. I've been here for over 4 yrs and have seen threads like this all the time (this is actually tame compared to how they went when I first started) Plain and simple...be happy with you. What you aren't happy with, work on fixing it (whether it's mental, physical, emotional, etc) but always know that there is someone out there that likes each of us. Let it confidence shine through and rock it out girl 
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I think you and your sister are very strong people. I am just learning to love me for me. Its been hard to figure out who I am and to love myself when I let others define me for most all my life. I used to depend on otersopions more and want to helpothers understand to love you is just as important if not more so.
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Tue 01/17/12 01:19 PM
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I do love how men these days consider someone as voluptuous and healthy as Marlyn still "fat." Please grow the phuck up. Real women, the AVERAGE woman really don't deserve this treatment. I agree with what you say; but these men will never grow up and will never accept even an average woman; they want the twiggy women and we can't compete with that. I gave up trying to impress men years ago; they simply aren't worth the effort. Yeah, most men have a lot maturing to do. The vast majority of women do not look like a waif. Sorry guys. Killed ya dreams. Sorry shallow peeps, 'tis the truth.  Cut to them waking up in a nursing home, stolid and alone. They deserve it quite honestly. Maybe its the LA thing, but to me, if you're more concerned about the numbers on the devil invention that is the scale, then wowch. I am so TIRED of looks being the front row seat to a "good" life. We are still children in the playground. This is what we've grown into. Men: the media has bought you off. They told you how to think, congrats for taking the bait.
I don't think it matters if you are a plus size or an average size; the media still portrays that these skinny anorexic women are beautiful and more desirable. I have suffered from eating disorders myself as men have made me feel horrible about my weight. I still struggle with food even now because of being made to feel like crap. The only men that haven't attacked me because of my weight are my male friends who accept me just as I am; its been the guys that I dated that made me feel overwieght. I do blame the media for this way of thinking as it not only affects the way men think but also women. |
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I think you and your sister are very strong people. I am just learning to love me for me. Its been hard to figure out who I am and to love myself when I let others define me for most all my life. I used to depend on otersopions more and want to helpothers understand to love you is just as important if not more so. my sister was the strong one (funny because she can be a door mat at times lol) It took that scare with eating disorders to start building my strength. I'm still not strong as I would like to be, but I', getting there. Things take time. you will do great. Learning to love yourself can be very hard and taking the first step shows you can do it |
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dinopoodle, Absolutely. We have to love ourselves or at least know who we are (the good and bad) and own it. That (IMO) is more attractive and will shine through My sister is disabled with a blood disease. She used to be on a morphine drip and now takes the pain meds they give a 3rd degree burn victim. She is pretty much bed ridden and only gets out of the house for the doctor and special occasions....like Christmas. She has gained a lot of weight because she can't do anything. Her muscles are weakened. She can't even go into the sun for more than 15 min without blistering. But she knows who she is (she's also been happily married for 20 yrs) She was the one growing up that was on the heavy side (after mom's side of the family) and I was always skinny (after dad's side) We always envied each other growing up. We have each battled eating disorders when we were younger, for different reasons. I had it the worst and almost died from it. I was 5'7 and under 100 lbs. But we realized the grass isn't greener on the other side and we are now happy with who we are. HOWEVER....that being sad lol....questions like the topic is kind of a loaded question because people like who they like and sometimes gets trashed for their preferences. I've been here for over 4 yrs and have seen threads like this all the time (this is actually tame compared to how they went when I first started) Plain and simple...be happy with you. What you aren't happy with, work on fixing it (whether it's mental, physical, emotional, etc) but always know that there is someone out there that likes each of us. Let it confidence shine through and rock it out girl
I agree! 
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That is beauty!
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I do love how men these days consider someone as voluptuous and healthy as Marlyn still "fat." Please grow the phuck up. Real women, the AVERAGE woman really don't deserve this treatment. I agree with what you say; but these men will never grow up and will never accept even an average woman; they want the twiggy women and we can't compete with that. I gave up trying to impress men years ago; they simply aren't worth the effort. Yeah, most men have a lot maturing to do. The vast majority of women do not look like a waif. Sorry guys. Killed ya dreams. Sorry shallow peeps, 'tis the truth. Cut to them waking up in a nursing home, stolid and alone. They deserve it quite honestly. Maybe its the LA thing, but to me, if you're more concerned about the numbers on the devil invention that is the scale, then wowch. I am so TIRED of looks being the front row seat to a "good" life. We are still children in the playground. This is what we've grown into. Men: the media has bought you off. They told you how to think, congrats for taking the bait.
I don't think it matters if you are a plus size or an average size; the media still portrays that these skinny anorexic women are beautiful and more desirable. I have suffered from eating disorders myself as men have made me feel horrible about my weight. I still struggle with food even now because of being made to feel like crap. The only men that haven't attacked me because of my weight are my male friends who accept me just as I am; its been the guys that I dated that made me feel overwieght. I do blame the media for this way of thinking as it not only affects the way men think but also women. No it doesn't. And, let's be upfront about this, weight, has always been a woman's issue. Any overweight people working in fancy restaurants? Mastros anyone? Hell no. Why is that? Why are we STILL distancing ourselves in that sense? I don't want to get too deep on this as it is a general to specific issue and can take extensive breaking down but I am just gonna say the WHOLE thing is out of hand. Skinny/legging curving inward/ribs showing=always ugly Healthy/muscle mass/actual flesh on bones=beauty |
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14 years ago I would have answered this much differently. Back then, I was in my late teens, and to me, you had to have a super model body PERIOD. Since then, I have found that it's more in who the person is and what they represent, not their size. I'm divorced from a woman who weighs less than 100 lbs. soaking wet. (From my shallow model chasing days) She was NOOOOO model.. FYI
I have since met quite a few women that would not have qualified as models, but have definitely gained my interest. I will say though, For me, I'm an active, outdoors, motivated, always on the go kind of person, and I want a woman who I can share those things with. Hiking, Canoeing, Biking etc. And I know that women over 220 lbs can do such things, I've had friends and Family members join me on some of these activities, and they aren't skinny. But you also have to have self-esteem and confidence. Don't worry what anyone else thinks. Just do what makes you happy. |
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14 years ago I would have answered this much differently. Back then, I was in my late teens, and to me, you had to have a super model body PERIOD. Since then, I have found that it's more in who the person is and what they represent, not their size. I'm divorced from a woman who weighs less than 100 lbs. soaking wet. (From my shallow model chasing days) She was NOOOOO model.. FYI I have since met quite a few women that would not have qualified as models, but have definitely gained my interest. I will say though, For me, I'm an active, outdoors, motivated, always on the go kind of person, and I want a woman who I can share those things with. Hiking, Canoeing, Biking etc. And I know that women over 220 lbs can do such things, I've had friends and Family members join me on some of these activities, and they aren't skinny. But you also have to have self-esteem and confidence. Don't worry what anyone else thinks. Just do what makes you happy. If there were more men like you in my area; I would actually consider dating again. You rock!!!!
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Dats an honest answer.......i feel better already
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A woman's weight does make a difference to me. She should either be big enough to carry me; Small enough so I could carry her or big enough to carry herself. Otherwise I think Thumbelina would be ideal size. I would like a woman I could just put in my pocket and take her out when ever I wanted to play with her.
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I think every woman has side of beauty , some woman are smart how they show the beatifull side , they work on them selves to apear in nice way ,weight dosnt matter if you now how to make it defferent
by dressing right - right hear style .... |
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