i also think they are lame, mike...and you can usually tell if it's someone who really needs support or prayers...or someone that is craving attention.

nothing wrong with sending a shout out for a prayer or three, or letting us see a snapshot into life...but when they need to be the entire center, and drop thread after thread...yeah...

not to mention, i have no wish to read any thread about someone's looks and why they aren't getting a date from them. i'm not rating someone...and i could care less.

um, i also don't like the nonsensical threads, and i wish that titles were more indicative of contents.

that is what the moderation is set up for

if enough don't want it it is gone

why have a rule

that can self govern

just a thought

but hey what do i know

Adj4u - with regards to joking about sex in a vague sense, I think that would probably fine as long as it's not too crass.

Basically, rules #3 and #4 have always been in place. So the things that were deleted before will still be deleted, and things that weren't are still ok. We just wanted to make sure they were included in the official forum rules so that users couldn't say "But it's not in the rules!"

So overall, we still plan to allow for fairly open conversation. And in the Sex and Dating forum, we're more lenient than in the normal forums. But sometimes people cross the line, and we wanted to make sure there were rules in place for those circumstances.

the problem, adj...is that a thread is only up for deletion for a limited time. if there isn't anyone participating when it's posted...it'll go through even if it DOES need deleting.

i just seen lonely walker was up for like 4 hours

and if no one responds then it will get buried anyway

if someone wants to have a self-pity party

and that is their personality i would like to know

cause i am not really in to that type of person

it is not that i like the thread

but that i want the enlightenment

that's because someone DID vote to remove it. it's only up for that first vote for a short period...if it receives no votes, then it goes through.

i HATE wading through a bunch of crap to find something worth responding to.

don't we all

lulu

maybe we need a favorite thread author option

but that will come with the search i guess

We're working on being able to see all posts by a specific author. We're also trying to come up with some kind of "watched topics" system where you can see just the topics you are interested in across all forums. Hopefully that will help.

mike, that will be absolutely wonderful. this will help forum navigation AND participation.

thank you.

mike yer getting better all the time

My only concern is if I'm in deep depression (which comes and goes) and I create a topic saying "hey look I'm totally depressed and I would like some support cause I have no friends in RL", would that be breaking rule #5?

allen the pity pot rule was created just for you lol

Seriously though there is a depression support thread on here.i have used it and you can of course e-mail me anytime.

Cloudy, don't write about depression, write about your feelings.

" hey guys I am really down today, (reasons why, request for some ideas to help/people to talk to)

Speak of you OPINIONS/VIEWS not crying poor me.

refer to the past suicide thread

Oldsage, last time thats what I did, when I pretty much broke down in tears because I got so home sick. It took every ounce of strength I had left to not call my mom and tell her how I was, because I did't want to worry. (I'm a momma's boy anyway). But if I ever get that way again, I don't want to get in trouble because I have no idea of what to do or say.

First i know i am new here to this site,but with that said the only rule i disagree with is #5. and not all of it either. I think its alright to seek attention to yourself.Kinda the purpose of the site and the forums right. as far pity seeking if i feel thats what a thread is i look at it then i move on to something else.If you seek pity and get none then it was in vain anyways and probably will be less likely to happen again.
just my opinion and i know im the new guy. And i know i will at sometime break all the rules not on purpose but it will happen thats just the kinda person i am i push everything to the limits thats how i live life to the fullest full throttle.
And i really do like this site and the people i have met here are the greatest. Sl do as they see fit and i will try to obey the rules lol

ace

Mike,

Through time, you have earned my trust in your judgment, and while I agree with some of the criticism made, I don't think they will actually be a problem. Based on the complaints I see here, I wonder if it would be good to give some specifics, maybe some examples, or some way for them to know where you would draw the line.

I think its beyond lame that a few bored, attention seeking people keep creating threads about themselves, especially in --General--. Maybe those kinds of threads could be considered okay in the 'chit chat' section?

Also, I hate seeing "i just joined, i'm in (location), any ladies in (location) want to have sex with me?" - I think those kinds of threads should be deleted out of hand. Thats what the profile is for, not the forums.

On the other hand, surely its appropriate to present a problem in our lives (all about us) in the "Misc Advice/Help" section, right?

And we -should- IMO have some way as a community to express our concerns and prayers for a person who is -legitimately- facing a major tribulation in their life, like a surgery, or a recent death. If it starts happening every week, we'll all know where the person is really coming from, and maybe something should be done...

Random thought: I can see how 'having someone else make your pity thread' - as implied by an earlier criticism - might seem arbitrary, legalistic, cumbersome, silly...but I think it would help separate the attention gluttons from the authentic coming-together-in-support. If a person keeps trying to get attention for attention's sake, eventually they will run out of friends willing to make a big deal about their (supposed) life tribulations. Just a random thought, not thought through very well.

Massagetrade - great post. I think you're absolutely right - if we keep the pity-seeking/attention-seeking rule, we need to be more specific about what that means. And what we're trying to achieve is exactly along the lines of the examples you gave. Let us think about that a bit and see if we can come up with some wording that's more clear.