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| Topic: The silent Treatment | |
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It is very common.. and I have learned that most people with the silent treatment going..have serious sad issues and just don't know how to deal with it better. I have done this..however, I view it as my cooling off period. I speak when ready to or else I will regret what comes out of my mouth. 
Cooling off is different than what the OP is talking about, I think. The only time I feel it's appropriate is if you've tried talking out the issues and the other person just doesn't get it, won't work on it, or just doesn't care. At that point, sometimes all you can do is just stop talking to them. You are correct. I actually said in my original post that I don't mean a cool down period. Yes I am aware of the cooling off however, it is still viewed as a silent treatment to others. |
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as long as youre male friend aint no ex than thats cool with me let me have fun at times by myself u can when u ask me to go do something with u and i do than when i ask u to do something with me than do it dont say u will than not and thats all i ask of any woman i dont mind takin care of my lady and if she wants to take care of herself well that just helps me out
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as long as youre male friend aint no ex than thats cool with me let me have fun at times by myself u can when u ask me to go do something with u and i do than when i ask u to do something with me than do it dont say u will than not and thats all i ask of any woman i dont mind takin care of my lady and if she wants to take care of herself well that just helps me out |
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actually im very easy to figure out but just dont let u woman know that i am lol 
If you have to let someone know you're easy to figure out, then you're not so easy to figure out. |
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actually im very easy to figure out but just dont let u woman know that i am lol
If you have to let someone know you're easy to figure out, then you're not so easy to figure out. He He. Good one.
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actually im very easy to figure out but just dont let u woman know that i am lol
If you have to let someone know you're easy to figure out, then you're not so easy to figure out. if only u new |
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Actually my mother has been doing this my whole life!
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Does it include naked sharades? I might be in if it does.
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I think this depends. I had one partner give me the silent treatment for two weeks. It didn't frustrate either of us - it disappointed me, and gave me insight into her mind, while it helped her process some things for herself. I find people who are deeply offended by the silent treatment feel they are entitled invade other peoples space. I feel that this is up to the partners involved to decide on. If you require a partner with a certain level of availability, great! Stand firm on that requirement! But don't act like there is only one kind of 'healthy relationship', and other people who use periods of non-communication are just 'wrong'. I have a lot of respect for some of the women I've known who choose silence for themselves. While you may be ok with being ignored, most people aren't ok with it. It has nothing to do with feeling entitled to invade other people's space. It has to do with not wanting to deal with childish behavior and wanting to work out the issues instead. If someone were to tell me they were mad or upset about something and needed a couple days to cool off, I'd be ok with that. However, that has not be the case. Anytime I've been ignored, I've been left wondering what's really going on. I lose respect for people who deal with things in that way. I can pretty much agree with this in most cases. It is a childish cop out and a real friend would not pull it I interpret it to mean that the person doing the silent treatment does not want the relationship (so if they DO want the relationship, they are playing games...childish) just my thought in fact it is pretty much childish under any circumstances when a guy pulls it - usually it means he is covering up his misdeeds |
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It's dysfunctional, IMO. (((((((((((((WINX))))))))))))))))) Where ya been? I missed you!!! 
I'm still alive, ((((((Ruth)))))  .
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as long as youre male friend aint no ex than thats cool with me let me have fun at times by myself u can when u ask me to go do something with u and i do than when i ask u to do something with me than do it dont say u will than not and thats all i ask of any woman i dont mind takin care of my lady and if she wants to take care of herself well that just helps me out For this reason; I always give the guy a chance to say no when I ask him to do something with me as I may have the same reaction when he wants me to do something with him. He can say no with and not worry about nagging or consequences; its called giving a person freedom. 
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as long as youre male friend aint no ex than thats cool with me let me have fun at times by myself u can when u ask me to go do something with u and i do than when i ask u to do something with me than do it dont say u will than not and thats all i ask of any woman i dont mind takin care of my lady and if she wants to take care of herself well that just helps me out For this reason; I always give the guy a chance to say no when I ask him to do something with me as I may have the same reaction when he wants me to do something with him. He can say no with and not worry about nagging or consequences; its called giving a person freedom.
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Wed 12/14/11 08:55 AM
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as long as youre male friend aint no ex than thats cool with me let me have fun at times by myself u can when u ask me to go do something with u and i do than when i ask u to do something with me than do it dont say u will than not and thats all i ask of any woman i dont mind takin care of my lady and if she wants to take care of herself well that just helps me out For this reason; I always give the guy a chance to say no when I ask him to do something with me as I may have the same reaction when he wants me to do something with him. He can say no with and not worry about nagging or consequences; its called giving a person freedom.
Well, it makes common sense to me. For years, people have manipulated a person to do things they hate and how has it been working? Obviously its not as more and more people are single. Seems to me; people need to try a new approach and stop the manipulating; stop the controling, and let people have more freedom. My goodness; it seems when one is in a relationship; its like they no longer have a life or a will of their own. That just seems wrong to me on so many levels. Why be in a relationship; just get yourself a dog that you can order around and control. I guess it helps that 1) I am a tomboy, and 2) I worked most of my life with men in the military, so I have a good understanding of where these guys are coming from. |
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as long as youre male friend aint no ex than thats cool with me let me have fun at times by myself u can when u ask me to go do something with u and i do than when i ask u to do something with me than do it dont say u will than not and thats all i ask of any woman i dont mind takin care of my lady and if she wants to take care of herself well that just helps me out For this reason; I always give the guy a chance to say no when I ask him to do something with me as I may have the same reaction when he wants me to do something with him. He can say no with and not worry about nagging or consequences; its called giving a person freedom.
Well, it makes common sense to me. For years, people have manipulated a person to do things they hate and how has it been working? Obviously its not as more and more people are single. Seems to me; people need to try a new approach and stop the manipulating; stop the controling, and let people have more freedom. My goodness; it seems when one is in a relationship; its like they no longer have a life or a will of their own. That just seems wrong to me on so many levels. Why be in a relationship; just get yourself a dog that you can order around and control. I guess it helps that 1) I am a tomboy, and 2) I worked most of my life with men in the military, so I have a good understanding of where these guys are coming from. |
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. KC,,,NOW THATS JUST TO-------->FUNNY!!!!!!
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NOW you guys all have me thinking?
I have ALWAYS became silent as a means to be known that I was put off or felt bad through another's words,,,NOW,,THATS not,, NOT TALKING AT ALL,,just where I really go, as my almost always out-going personality,,when I feel someone has kind of put me off, or verbally smacked me,,I become quiet because they know me as THAT ,,to be NOT myself in actions,,as where many get pisssed and shout or act mad,,,I just don't act my morm..SO, THEY know something's UP?, IS THAT A BAD thing to do, to most here? As for ANYONE ever NOT talking to me,,,like say over an hour of being still,,I will ALWAYS ask them,,if their ok?or is anything wrong,, IF that is against their norm? For me to ever be with anyone who shut me out mentally for a day,,I would be like WTF? and HAVE to ask WHAT??? and if THAT was their method of acting out their personality,,WE WOULDN'T BE TOGETHER! Because thats like really odd,,,,boarder-line crazy,,if their an adult....lol HELL,,EVEN MY KIDS DIDN'T DO THAT...
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no - it sounds like u are describing a "cooling off" period. The Silent Treatment is something that goes on for hours, days pr weeks at a time to punish or manipulate someone (usually into apologizing even tho they haven't done anything wrong)
I also cool off by being and quiet & keeping to myself because I do not want to say anything I'd regret |
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no - it sounds like u are describing a "cooling off" period. The Silent Treatment is something that goes on for hours, days pr weeks at a time to punish or manipulate someone (usually into apologizing even tho they haven't done anything wrong) I also cool off by being and quiet & keeping to myself because I do not want to say anything I'd regret When I need a cooling off period, I tell my guy exactly that..."Let me step back from this, calm down, collect my thoughts, and re focus...We need to discuss, but we need to be calm and rational when we do it." Sometimes I even ask if this is OK with him....if he agrees, everything is cool...The "Silent" treatment is counterproductive, makes a bad problem worse every time... |
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no - it sounds like u are describing a "cooling off" period. The Silent Treatment is something that goes on for hours, days pr weeks at a time to punish or manipulate someone (usually into apologizing even tho they haven't done anything wrong) I also cool off by being and quiet & keeping to myself because I do not want to say anything I'd regret When I need a cooling off period, I tell my guy exactly that..."Let me step back from this, calm down, collect my thoughts, and re focus...We need to discuss, but we need to be calm and rational when we do it." Sometimes I even ask if this is OK with him....if he agrees, everything is cool...The "Silent" treatment is counterproductive, makes a bad problem worse every time... I agree - if he wants the relationship it is counterproductive to pull the silent treatment - I know I will not remain with someone who pulls the silent treatment Unfortunately, people - men we're with, for example, are not always rational enough to speak to as you describe - so sometimes a cooling off period with a walk around the block is the best way- it let's him refocus so you can talk about cooling off because at some point he will notice that u have stopped responding or you are not in the room (ya people can get pretty irrational). I think it depends on how rational he is being (or she if ur a man). If he's beyond reasoning with what you are talking about will just be one more thing for him to try to argue about |
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