have to agree with you krupa.
Would you like to come and have a cuppa at my house you can bring soufie

"Haven't had coffee in a long time"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a91ll7EJnzo

I could have sworn the original post originally mentioned letting someone come OVER or come IN for the coffee,,,,thus my response about home visits,,,,

Fair enough.

When I was dating I never had kids so there was no issue with
introducing a stranger to my children. So I certainly did not
need to introduce my date to my parents or be in a long-term
relationship before inviting a date into my home.

My expectations on inviting someone to my home varied a lot
depending on the nature of the date and the relationship. If
it was a new relationship and we had not been physical with
each other dating (no close body contact while dancing, no
kissing for example) then I would not expect anything physical
when inviting them up for coffee or dessert or a movie. But I
would very rarely invite someone like that up to my place after a
date!

On the other hand, if we had been physically demonstrative on
the date and seemed to be very attracted to each other then I
did not have a problem with having hot steamy crazed sex with
them...in fact by the time we got back to my place (if we made
it all the way back to my place) we would be very emotionally
involved.

In general, I did not have casual sex. I was serially monogamous.
Lovemaking for me was never casual. I was almost always deeply
emotionally entwined with my partner before having sex which made
it great. I did not have a lot of partners but had a few great
lovers.

In general I would only invite a date up to my place at the
conclusion of what I would call a great date to be close with
them and usually expecting to have sex with them. If the date
was not already emotionally charged then I would not invite
them up but head to bed at the end of a date.

Generally speaking, when I invited a friend to watch a movie or
have dinner or coffee in a non-sexual situation it would not be
at the conclusion of a date, rather a colleague or coworker, or
apartment mate, fellow student, friend of a friend etc. Not in
a dating context.

Hypothetically, now that I have young children, I would probably
have them stay overnight with a friend or relative or the ex when
going out on an emotionally charged date who I might invite back
afterward (rather than getting a sitter). I would think it would
be extremely difficult for me because I would expect we would
want to have sex daily in such a situation. Probably would have
to invite them over for sex when the kids were at school or go
to her place etc. I do think there would have to be long term
commitment expectations before she could spend the night at my
place with me and my kids.





Bottom line. It is like Hitch said. It's all in the kiss for me.

If the intellectual connection is there and she has the touch
and the kiss then watch out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIDWgqDBNXA&ob=av2e

umm ok i dont drink coffee

The more I read this, the more I see that "coffee" actually means "a life long commitment that hinges on the hang ups of the past and the fantasy expectations of an imagined future".


Too bad cause this mornings coffee is outstanding!

In that case..we'll make it 200 years old then...

It wasn't really about coffee. It was about inviting your date
into your house after a really great date.

Sometimes coffee really means coffee.

using “coffee” as a euphemism for sex…I never invite dates home unless it is for “coffee” and never when my kids are home.

I also never introduce dates to my kids until we’ve been dating for a good six months.

Sorry my mum told me to never share coffee with strangers

Yep, that is how I understood it and I agree with you about being cautious to inviting anyone to your home. I don't know why anyone thought being invited in for coffee meant having sex; I think it was more of a safety issue as you shouldn't invite anyone you really don't know well into your home or even show them where you live.