Never I can't stand coffee....................

The coffee is metaphorical. Choose any other drink.
Or something else altogether.

Do you invite them over for conversation?
To watch a movie?
Something else?

Something visual or tactile or oral?



What are your expectations?

no coffee for me, if he is interested in me, he needs to try at least invite me instead, and or take me to a decent lunch/dinner; a neutral place with people that will allow us to communicate and get to know each other better :)

Does anyone really have a set time frame for when they do this? Probably not. I would guess it depends on how the date(s) have been going. I know for me, it's different with different people.

I'm sorry I was not clear enough maybe in my initial post. I did
not mean to ask for a time like 8 hours or 45 days. I meant when
as in "under what circumstances" do you ask....

but "under what circumstances" did not fit in the topic line

So, to rephrase it...

Ladies, under what specific circumstances do you.....

of course when it feels right - but I was looking for a more
interesting answer like "when I feel <insert your description here>"
or "when he has <insert description of what he has done here>"
or "when we have <insert feelings or actions here>"

etc. etc....

I am also interested to find out how you ask them up...if not for
coffee then maybe for some nice V8, kefir, jack daniels, movie,
dinner, dessert, kentucky fried chicken...you know...

How does the decision to invite them in happen for you and how do
you extend the invitation and what do you expect in general?

I expect lots of great conversation

NO SEX

Well I was really asking about after you are pretty comfortable.
I'd think anyone would have to be fairly comfortable with the other
person to invite someone into their home. Then the question becomes
how comfortable do you have to be and how well do you have to know
each other, and how do you know that you know him well enough?

It's still not something specific for me. It's just going to depend on how the date(s) have been going, as it is still different with each person I've dated.

See? I think that some would expect conversation and others would
expect sex and yet others might expect almost anything else!



But I guess very few would expect coffee according to the responses
so far....

well I want to know why guitar musicians ask so many questions?

I never answered the how I ask part. But, that's simple, really. I just ask if they'd like to come here for a drink or something like that.

I am just making conversation. Actually when I wrote this I was
thinking about a Sex in the City episode where Carrie is debating
in her mind about asking a guy up (for coffee) if I remember it
right and I just thought it might be fun and illuminating to hear
from other minglers about how, why, when they do this!

True story.

I have no agenda - except my own curious way of making chit-chat.



My guitar playing had absolutely nothing to do with it.
Except sometimes it used to get me invited for coffee...

That is interesting. I wonder how it worked in the different cases....

What's interesting about it, though? Are you expecting women to have some formula they use to figure out when to invite someone over? I guess I'm not really sure exactly what you're looking for.

yes that musician like charm!

I suppose you were playing in coffeehouses then, of course
yes and as to the invite - one thing I can say is that I would not agonize over it enough to make a TV episode

I'd think it, do it, say it and move forward...

I expect different circumstances - possibly interesting circumstances,
hopefully amusing anecdotes...you know...maybe some similarities
among people or perhaps just funny differences.

Just curious and wondering what different people's experiences have
been like...



I'm not looking for anything except an interesting anecdote...



I don't usually ask questions looking for a specific answer
just any answer....

I'll give you a for instance.

In the movie "Hitch", Will Smith's character tells his awkward
client that it was all about the first kiss. Well, I wonder if
it really is about the first kiss!?

But I just thought that up in the spur of the moment - just now.
I was not wondering about that before I posted this topic and
no one mentioned kissing so far....

So what do you all think? How much of a role does the first kiss
play in this - or have you invited him over usually before the
first kiss?

Only if there's a 150 years old whisky involve...and they can handle it like a gentleman...

Is there even 150 year old whisky for sale somewhere?

First kiss? Again, that's going to be different each time. At least for me.

I've had a first kiss before the first date, before inviting someone over, after inviting someone over, after the first date, second date and so on.

Luckily, most of my first kisses have been good.