and he's totally different now. As soon as we moved in together, it started to become difficult. He was no longer on the up and up with his manorisms, appearance, or interests. It's so sad. Why do some people do this?

How long and how well did you know the guy before he moved in?

There must have been some flags.

it is like asking how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop (the world may never know). i think the internet has opened doors for people who would not do well in social settings. they can pretend to be anything. once they come in contact with real people the jig is up and they have to be themselves. if you are still living under said conditions, you may want to get while the getting is good. sounds like things can only get worse. godspeed

^Strongly agree with you there.

But, I don't think the ability to pretend to be something you're not -- or otherwise overemphasizing parts of your character -- is not limited to the internet. I think most people have this need to want to impress someone upon first meeting them. It's great to put in that extra effort in an attempt to attract the other person, but many people don't realize that it's likely just a temporary thing. At some point, that easily excitable person is going to "forget" that that's what they showcased during the first meeting. And at that point, the other party is left wondering what happened. Once someone settles into something, you start seeing the "real" side of them.

Regardless, I don't think that it was a conscious thing. I think it's safe to assume that this is just a natural progression, and he probably never had the intention of "letting go".

Just an honest opinion...this party is over.

When a man is done trying...he is done trying.

Get him out or move out cause he will only regress.

You gave it a shot. At least you tried but, this post is THE RED FLAG.

Give yourself a fair shot instead of dragging out an unwinnable situation.

No one can make you happy but you girl. Your dude ain't doing it for you.

This is just my own personal experience, but it incorporates a LOT of my past relationships:

For whatever reason, some people feel a need to go into a relationship presenting themselves as very different from who they really are. I suppose there's a sense they have, a sense that the "real" them wouldn't be alluring enough or persuasive enough to draw the other person in. So they become this facade-persona, the person they think the other person (the "target") WANTS them to be.

But once they feel they have their victim trapped, they let down the mask and show their true selves. And it's never a pretty sight.

After you've been through this about 90 times, you'll start to see the red flags earlier and earlier.

427 but I usually starting biting around 100



....or less

that happened to me too! Everything was great! he was a gentleman and treated me like gold, until i moved out of state to live with him... suddenly, i didnt matter... i was expected to take care of EVERYTHING (paying the bills, taking care of the house, etc)... he lost his job, didnt even look for another (i was working about 50 hours a week and running up credit card debt just to keep up)and he played playstation for 15 hours a day (literally)... i got the hell out!! but that's just my experience...

Have to second this.

its part of the modern dating 'game' , fitting all these criteria and going by all these rules,, except just being yourself and seeing if they are attracted to who you really are,,,

"Just being yourself"?????


NO!!!!! Every woman should try to be what I want.

you already got what you want,, dont be greedy,,,lol

Two words for you Sweet Harmony...


HAREM


(I am Polish....just let me run with it)

:)

I'm with Motown on this and with your guy on this. A person needs to be able to relax in their own dwelling. Perhaps you moved in together too soon and maybe had u spent some more "informal" time together just "letting your hair down'....seeing what he looks like with mustard spilled on his boxers & his hair a mess - you'd be more ready now

accept him for who he is or leave. If I were the person u are talking about I'd be gone

I don;t want to be with someone who is not totally happy with me and I'm sure he doesn't either

I also agree with the krup man - this guy's job in life is to love u maybe but NOT to be responsible for your happiness - that comes from within

Be yourself is so important we even have it on cartoons. I like the way Robin Williams said it as the genie being the bee. "Bee yourself."

they have harems in Poland????

As soon as i seen the title of this thread, i knew something was up. I think you've probably been rushing things. Whereas, there's more time left than you think. I don't get the part where people rush things along. It doesn't develop properly and then there's behaviour. Next time make sure you know what you're getting yourself into. Sorry to sound like a nagging mother. I just get angry when i witness someone being used.

life is full of risk,whether your dating online or in real life..the true test that we take is moving in together...just because you date someone for a while doesnt mean that they will be easy to live with.

living with and dating are two serperate issues,issues that can change the way people view each other..most of the time you dont know what an insensitive guy your with till he cant get the simple hint to keep the toilet seat down.its a snowball effect,one thing that ticks you off that he does,turns into 10 things that you hate,and most often come out when you move in together.I think the trick is to date long enough and give your relatioship enough time so that your feelings are so strong that when you decide to live together,the little anoying thing dont matter that much over what your heart wants.

its a part of life,and there is no solution to this problem,you just have to take the chance and find out..but you would be surprised what you can live with.

or maybe he did change...but it was there all along and you didnt see it because you were blinded by the fact that he was an azzhole when you met him,just your type of azzhole.


jmo..tucker

I have a t-shirt that says "ehhhmmm..he looked good on-line"