hey everyone so i'm 25 years old, i was born with muscular dystrophy, essentially i've been wheelchair bound since day one, i've never been with a girl in my life, i've tried every dating web site on the planet, bars/clubs speed dating social networks and everything you could possibly imagine. i really feel like i'm gonna be one of those 80 year old people who are lonely their entire life. i really don't understand what makes me so unappealing? i'm hoping maybe one of you guys can tell me what i'm doing so wrong?

Stephen Hawking (One of the most brilliant scientists on this planet) ... same condition ..

I happened to see a video (I forgot what channel) where a friend of his set him up with a hooker.
The look on his face said it all.... PRICELESS.

I took a look at your profile and read what you've said. I believe you're not doing anything wrong. Also, your honesty and sincerity are apparent in your profile. However, not a lot of people could or would want to deal with a partner that has your condition. BUT not all women are the same and there are those who would accept a person for who they are regardless. Although, these individuals are uncommon and you will have your search cut out for you, it is possible. If it's any consolation, EVERYONE has a hard time looking for the right partner in life. I truly do wish you luck in your search. :)

^^^I couldn't have said it better Red! I recently was able to attend a lecture by Stephen Hawking and it was one of the most exciting moments of my life.

Good Luck

Wow! Lucky girl! Which lecture was it? I would love to attend one of his lectures too. :)

Not trying to downplay your situation here, but let me offer a different perspective.

As someone who has been in a lot of relationships, I can readily say that, given the opportunity, I would gladly go back in time and delete every one of them.

There are worse things than being alone.

When I was in college, there was a fellow
student, in a motorized wheelchair, who
had cerebral palsy.
Homecoming was coming, I got many invitations
but just did not feel like going.
I had a passing acquaintance with the fellow.
He was exceptionally bright, and engaging.
So I said to him one day, would you like to
go to the dance together?
He stared at me a long while.
He gave an approximate smile and managed
to nod assent.
Then he did some wheelies and sped away.

He showed up at my dorm door dance night,
completely spiffed up. He was surrounded
by his dorm buddies, all dressed to the
nines. They all lifted him from his chair
to await me at the door.
It was so magnificent. Many tears all around.
They had wanted to do something, to show
support for their friend. His first date.
So all of us tripped off to the dance, me
with a dozen men, all intent on making this
a night of nights.

Well, I will tell you this.
I did him no favors.
Twas he who passed out the fun that night.
We all laughed until we hurt.
We twirled around the dance floor until we
were dizzy.
At first, the other dancers were..stand-offish
and kept back. We hardly noticed. To give me
a break, his buddies would wheel him to the
dance floor and boogie away.

Soon, everyone was involved, people came over
just to say hi, and welcome. It occurred to us
that we were the party. Everyone else was a
bystander.

It was a very special night.
My friend was a whole man in every way.
But his environement had not been conducive
to allowing him the freedom of being who he
was. But that night, everyone loved him.
Better, he felt great love for them.

We had to drag him away from that dance.
We all went back to my place and sat around
and talked until 9am the next day.
I will never forget it. Lifelong friends
from then.

He became very popular.
People were now willing to give him some time.
He met and married a wonderful gal, and believe
me, he had his choices.

So, my feeling is, attitudes were changed that
night. All of ours, certainly, but also his.
He had his moment to shine, and he took it.
I can still see him in my mind, moving like
a player, in his chair, on the dance floor.
I think he allowed us to share his joy.

I believe none of us was ever the same again.
The spirit that resides in each of us is sacred.
He had always known he was whole..we had
to learn it.

^^ So inspiring! I can almost see this being made into a movie. :)

i would have to disagree... I am more of a persone who believes in the saying, "Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"

I agree! Wonderful story Soufie

You know what GUY, I remember in high school, i had the hugest crush on this guy, he was so funny, kind of a freckle face...a borderline professional skateboarder, just about to sign with a skating company...one spring he went on vacation and was riding quads when he lost control and went through a barb wire fence and went head on into a big rig...I was so heartbroken and didnt think he would even live.

Afterward he ended up with hand and arm scars, but was permanently paralyzed from the waist down. It never affected the way i felt about him..i would sit on his lap and he would ride me around on his wheelchair and we had a lot of fun together but then things started to change and he became a very self pity angry man...so i had to cut it off. He was unappreciative of what he had in life...albeit it was not the life he longed for but he had life when he should have not survived. plus he had me and a handful of very faithful friends, but none of it was good enough to restore his angry spirits...

My point is to be happy with what you have. Also my point is that i still liked him in his wheelchair no different than without. It was his personality that chased me away, not his physical disability. I have no idea what kind of personality you have, but hopefully you are in good spirits and one day a special lady will recognize you for who you are and you will find companionship in her. Good Luck, best wishes to you.

You know, this is such a great topic because if life was fair and people were not so hung up on looks this world would be a much better place. I know so many people who have fallen for guys/gals for there looks get married and soon after realize that the looks are only skin deep. Its PERSONALITY and COMMUNICATION that make or breaks a relationship. If the woman can look past the wheelchair and see who you are as a person then a relationship can certainly work. Dont loos yourself in your wheelchair and your condition, be yourself. The right girl will come along.

I suppose that's OK if it works for you. I've found that most cliches tend to work better in greeting cards than they do in real life.

My marriage was the biggest mistake of my life, and there's no doubt in my mind that my life would have been much better had I never gotten involved there. All of my other relationships were, to varying degrees, more negative than positive in toto. To dredge up another old saying, do you know how they define insanity....? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I believe I would be much better off today had I never met any of the people I've been in relationships with up to this point.

Yes, I would have missed out on a lot -- a lot of harmful, painful, unnecessary and negative stuff. In retrospect, I would prefer if I had had the sense to avoid it.

Soufie what a beautiful story.........

iphoneguy don't give up get out there around others let them see how much you shine life will bring you what you dream of....

good advice

Ahhhh............ LexFonteyne there is truth in what you say. Love can be such a bitter pill.

I know it's a horrendous crime to say anything against the Valentine's-Day-hearts-and-flowers-happily-ever-after-mass-delusional concept of love and relationships, but I value reality more than the acceptance of the "There's someone for everyone!" cliche-mongers.

I dont know, I suppose i am more of an optimist. I look back at all the times in my life, and i dont really regret nor miss any of the exes...but there were fun times during each relationship..nothing that would long me to go back...but i do think or at least hope to find someone again... I need to find a future EX, lol

you know, when I posted this thread the other night, i didn't expect to see these many responses, anyway i digress, i'm gonna try to respond to everyone, if i miss anyone i'm sorry, to the guy with the cynicism, i agree with about 90% of what you said, love's not like our society perceives it, however being alone blows and a girl/guy can "complete" each other, to the girl with the ex who became handicapped, i'm in great spirits (usually) it's different when you love a person before the accident, the love and relationship foundation is already built, it's not impossible to love a person in a wheelchair but 99% of society would never consider it, but if the foundation is already built beforehand you don't see it that way, to the girl about the homecoming story, what you did was really amazing, in high school i never had a prom because I didn't have a date, i didn't wanna be the only one with no date, so I didn't go, anyway point is whether or not you or anyone else realizes it, you probably single handedly changed his life, i know from personal experience, i used to be in love with a girl for about 5 or so years, the smallest thing she would do would make me ecstatic, if she would have done what you did for him, i would most likely be a different person, so on behalf of me and everyone else in my situation, thanks lol, to everyone praising stephen, i'm not gonna try to take anything away from him, everything hes done is very commendable, but trust me when I tell you, if i had his money/fame i wouldn't need any hookers lol.

my friend had no money or fame, unfortunately he lost his chance at that...from the accident. but what he hadnt lost was his sense of humor and good looks, but up until his personality turned into pure anger and self pity...Wish you the best. . .a good friend is better than a sour lover trust me...