That's fine for high school and college but as men age we tire of the "Chase Me" and "Play Hard to Get" game. Men my age have the attitude, "we're adults and not kids. If you are interested then respond when I approach you. If you try to play little girls games I walk away".

For the most part older women don't play chase me games. If they do it's very suttle and doesn't last long. Oh, it's not because they are needy but because they have matured beyond this.

Nope not serious; just messing with you.

well said

Well put especially the part about we are adults and not kids. Sure wish more men thought like you.

I dont make the first move, when I have in the past I have always been rejected, so I wait until the woman makes her intentions know, and if she doesn't make the move, then I suppose we'll never know. You can only a kick a dog so many times before he bites you or runs away, I run, fewer cops.

Men have to make the first move because that is the only way a woman can know for sure if the man is interested.

Throughout human evolution, finding a solid, reliable, strong mate has always been more of a gamble for females than for males. There has always been slightly more females than males on earth, so all a man has to do is plant his seed in one garden then move on to the next and the next and next. He doesn't have be loyal to any particular garden in order to survive. On the other hand, women have to bear the babies and take primary responsibility in the upbringing and survival of those babies. If she mates with a male who is not willing to devote his time and energy to her, helping her raise and feed the babies, and protecting his family from predators in the wild, the chance of her and her offspring surviving is extremely slim.

I know this isn't caveman days anymore LOL, but I think you can still see the advantage for a woman to wait for a man who's brave, strong, confident and INTERESTED enough in her to make the first move. She can trust a man like this to be there for her in the long-run. Men can have their pick of women anytime they want. In fact, a man doesn't have to be interested in a woman to want to have sex with her and thus possibly impregnate her.

In short, men have to make the first move and women should play hard to get for the maintenance of society and the family and for the survival of humanity as a whole.

I could say the same thing.....we will only know if the female is interested if SHE makes the first move. I respectfully disagree. I think it is simply the traditional way. That's not to say the "traditional" way is right or wrong, I just think it is simillar to a marriage proposal. 99.9% of the time, it's the male. Why don't women buy US engagement jewelry? Because it is the " traditional" way. :)

I disagree on the whole men should approach

i get approached all the time,

ladies step your game up a notch

could you say the same about what is at stake for women as compared to men?

I think its cool for either to 'approach'. I wouldnt approach because I basically want the assurance(as was posted before) that I am at LEAST worth the effort to approach before gambling on all the potential future EFFORT I will be required to make in return(carrying and raising children, housekeeping, making meals, doing laundry, and all that..)

I really think Men get the better end of the deal. They have a job when you meet them (hopefully) and they are required no extra physical effort(besides the occasional date) once they are in the relationship. They go from paying the bills in their home, to ,,,paying the bills in their home. They go from making their own meals to having a cook. From cleaning their own house, to having a maid. From cleaning their own laundry, to having a maid. From being single , to claiming the pride of fatherhood(those who do) while being required to do little but spend money to earn it and while being allowed to come and go as they please by society with no extra physical investment.

Women invest quite a bit of physical effort in the long term of the relationship, requiring the INITIAL effort of an approach seems little to expect.

As a general rule, women don't make the first move because they want to filter out all the wussies who are too chicken to even approach them. Occasionally you'll find some assertive gals (I have myself ), but generally they expect you to make the first move. Man up and do it!

Men don't always make the first move. I have made the first move before and it worked out well. Sent the first message, then made the first ph call, talked for hours and days, finally met and it was wonderful. Shareing stories and so many laughs. Wish it could of lasted longer then it did but sometimes good things end so better things can happen. Just the way that things go sometimes.

If i see a guy i like i approach him...sure i fear rejection but i would rather say i tried than to regret not trying.

Chiverily is not dead yes there are knights in shining armor but even a king affords a flattery we like being picked vp to its nice. LoL men r so easy

nothing is absolute, there are different preferences for everyone

I think the title of the thread is misleading as nothing is ALWAYS true where dating is concerned

Its always better that the men singles to make the first move. Its always that they have to impress the female folk.

And hence I would always prefer my man to take the initial step.

But as it is said "To each his own". So everyone is entitled for their opinion.

All the best guys...

I agree to a point. Older women may have matured beyond game playing but courtship and the signals that we send are not "playing little girl games" they are natural responses to an attractive man in our midst.

A guy will have to make a first move with me because I instinctively get a little shy - I know I give off signals that I am approachable - and most of this isn't a conscious choice - it's just how we are - we're older but we are still women - acting like females when a man we like is near...

I prefer he makes the first move because it is manly - Ima girly girl and I like that - but if I really like him - I do everything I can to make it easy for him to approach me (in case he is shy). If he doesn't I assume pretty quick he's not interested

I don't wait around 4ever or throw myself at a man

though her story was a little simplistic it is true. So I respectfully disagree with you

while I don't see anything wrong with a woman approaching a man if she's comfortable with it, the "tradition" of a man approaching a woman became traditional because it was at first instinctive (exactly as she explained it) long before we had "traditions" females had to be choosy about their mate and the selection process involved "testing" a man's ability to provide and protect

like it or not - that's a fact- though obviously an ancient one

generally, I think things tend to go better when the man makes the first move. most men do not like a woman chasing him.

OK, ya, you just sit right here & wait for me to do that

thank you HB - well said

Because men are hunters and gathers, this is a basic instinct in human males, it is basically about the hunt.