If the lady is someone you want...

Best to be about getting her attention.

Before one of the millions of other guys out there do.

I want to be asked out the spartan way!

Would a spartan actualy ask?

You mean it doesn't attract women? Really?

Probably not. But then, the point is he'd have the stones to try.

LOL I am coming for you then I am going to come up to you tell you I intend to breed with you and form a union and that if you choose to put up a fight it wont stop me unless you kick my arse ....so you ready lol????

I'm sure I can handle you. So in other words: Bring it.

More whiny false generalizations ... makes ya look like a troll.

Hrm. The OP hasn't logged in since starting the thread. It was his only post in over a month. I have a feeling we won't see him posting again.

Of course, I do find funny all this talk about confidence, and yet the ending question of my original response has gone undiscussed.

Personally, I think most people are hung up on defending outdated traditions and on passing judgment. People complain about playing games and mixed signals....well, being chased and playing hard to get IS a game, it produces mixed signals. It creates miscommunication. And then after all the effort put into it, a year or two down the road they may not turn out to be who you thought they were all because they were playing the game just like you. There are an awful lot of unhappy people out there who just find dud after dud. Many of them just are doing what they were taught by tradition.

This is why I asked that question.....to get others to question how well the traditional methods really work.

IDK about u msharmony but Ima good swimmer

When a woman makes the first move; men find her too aggressive and shy away from her. I think its silly personally as it shouldn't matter who makes the first move but alas the fragile male ego.....

I set up my first date with my ex.
I asked him to marry me.
I paid for everything.

...think I'm a fool yet....just wait...

He married me because he wanted to be 'like me'. He got drunk one night and confessed he wanted to be a girl.

I've been the aggressive mate, the boss, the lady with the balls to go after what she wants.

In the end, I just wanna be treated like a woman.

I don't have an ounce of respect for a guy who couldn't take charge and just ask me out.

The real question is 'WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF?'

The worst that could happen is that she would say no. And...as you say, there are plenty of women on this sight to choose from.

Being chased? Are you serious? I am too damn old to do the running so not into being chased. Too hard on the body.

hell.. i got nothing against an aggressive woman.. more power to her..

if you like what you see.. then go for it..

Fascinating read....damned if you don't, damned if you do....these social mores are outright ridiculous.


If I wish to go somewhere with someone new who appears interesting, I will ask them....most people NOT being highly psychic won't know if I don't freakin speak up!


How the perkuck is that deemed aggressive?

It's called confidence...or even ASSERTION...

if I sat in the corner with my thumb up my arse waiting for someone to ask me out, I'd be waiting a long time...and have a really sore arse!

Yea not many people can have as big and strong of an Ego as me

But when a girl comes on to strong my whordar goes off and I am cautious if she wants anything more than sex but still will give it a shot lol

True, Okami! There are women that come on waaaay too strong, that is typically how a guy will view it. Of course, men who come on too strong typically are viewed in a similar light. It works both ways.

I have zero problem with a woman who has confidence just as long as she also knows how to be a lady too. Typically, tomboys don't bother me either with the same caveat applied. I've had a fair amount of women approach me, but only a few of them have been one I was interested in. Still, I wouldn't have paid attention to about half of them if they hadn't done something to get my attention in the first place.

That being said, I've made the first move plenty of times too. One of my favorite turn-downs is, "I don't really know you." Um, hello? That's often what a first date is spent doing....getting to know each other. To some people it doesn't matter if you are just trying to chat, or if you ask them to have a coffee with you sometime, or if you ask them to dinner. It's just the response they give, whether they're not interested, just uncomfortable, or have misjudged you. It's always a fun response from someone who you've actually talked pleasantly with a few times before. Their loss. If they don't want to take time getting to know me better, then I'm not really interested in them either.

I hate hearing this question. When ever I hear it I feel like I want to punch them. Its always the whiny guys that have no confidence and just want a girl to stroke their ego and make them feel better about themselves.

That being said I have no problem making the first move. In fact I message a lot more guys than guys who message me.

Me too, I message first. I feel like all women need to be actresses; to pretend to be something we aren't so we can make a man feel good. Its pathetic but women that have been married for over 20 years swear by it and doing this they have their men wrapped around their finger. Guess if that is what guys want; who am I to question it. Think I will take some acting classes so I can pretend to be defenseless and dumb.