My ex recently told me she had a problem with sex because, "sometimes your husband just tells you too much." In this case problem with sex meant I could barely touch her and when we would do it she would just want to get it over with. She wanted no foreplay of any kind.

What do you think about past issues relating to current feelings about sex?

Some people are repulsed by sex for a varity of reasons....abuse, lack of commonalities, thier partner just aint any good at it, plain old boredom with the exact same thing every time....etc.

Others can't get enough no matter how hard you hump em.

It's pretty common knowledge that past issues of many kinds affect feelings about sex in both men and women.

It might also be a health issue. If she is in the stages of menopause, it could be affecting her in a negative way. Either way, she needs to see a doctor to see if it is a mental or physical issue.

My soon to b ex-wife and my sex life fizzled a while back, not sure if it was me or her or both. Felt like I had to beg for it and didn't want that. I just stopped trying altogether.

My soon to b ex-wife and my sex life fizzled a while back, not sure if it was me or her or both. Felt like I had to beg for it and didn't want that. I just stopped trying altogether.

Mmmm I think sex is always in your head.
Where your head is at, so goes the body.

It is such an instinctive, natural thing.
I have seen MANY women sick of 'having to do it.'
I have never seen them change this attitude.
So I think it must start early, then get compounded.
I do not know where the answer lies there.
If you think you do not need it, I guess you don't.

If I love somebody, I always want to..espress it.
That is one of the ways.
I just don't see it ever getting boring.
Unless you have expectations defined by society.

One thing that I can say with conviction is that with the right person, what happened in the past won't really matter. :)

discretion is the better part of valour?

Well, the reason I started this post was I met a woman after my divorce. I told her about my past and rather than running like my ex did, if anything it made her want me more.

She told me that if a woman really loves me they would act the way she did.

I was trying to find out if that is a true statement. I didn't quite believe her despite her showing me.

Guess seven years of bad sex left me skeptical about what good sex and love is.

The only conclusion I can draw is my ex didn't love me then...

true, and it seems that with the right person the issues regarding sex are minimal to none. that's the beginning of the end - when that desire ebbs on a regular basis for either partner.

When other things in a relationship aren't working well, that can also kill desire in a woman and I think some men may see that as manipulative,

I have to totally agree with this post.

Freud said it has to do with every part of your life ... but hey...
we are not that Freudian anymore.

We all have some self image and sexual experience issues that can weigh on the present but as Red said .... with the right person... all is forgiven or forgotten and things just cruise on down the road.

As for ex's love and sex issues..... that is normally a big part of the reason they are an ex.
and ... references to them should be kept to a minimum.

well, congrats on your new found love! sounds as tho you've earned some happiness. maybe you have just finally found the right woman. ....so now you can enjoy what you have been seeking all this time Good Luck

true as we are creatures largely composed of our collective experiences in nearly all aspects that I can think of- sex as one of them.

we can also make concious choices to educate ourselves to be comfortable and accepting of sexuality - good grief.if I still had the sexual attitudes I was raised with - I'd have thrown away toe key to the chastity belt ages ago

Sex is overrated

You all may have some interesting discoveries about this as you get older. It's kind of an adventure. Not an entirely a happy one.

hear the older you get ...that's when your sex life kicks into overdrive ...
you just can't seems to get enough ...

Hi Luv. Been awhile. It isn't exactly like that. You heard that from old people who fantasize a lot.

Q: Is it possible to become worse in bed with age?