I've learned not to change, continue to be the person you were before
you are in the relationship. I've also learned what a broken heart
feels like. Boooo

I guess I would have to say I learned to be a stronger person,I was
married for 16 years and I learned alot about myself.I also learned what
it feels like to have your world turned upside down over night,But
things always happen for a reason ,and we do learn from our mistakes and
try not to repeat them....

I agree with the last sentence of your post Breezy. So very true.

i learned not to get envolved with anymore "Swamp Wicthes".

that you don't know what you had till it's gone (for good relationships)

that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (for bad ones)

Wonderful words Andrew. Especially the last line. lol

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned doesn't apply to all women.


I hope.

Andrew, you need some original lines. How about, "If you tell me you
love me and then change your mind, you will really piss me off"? Or,
"Lying and loving don't mix". You seem like a really clever guy, come up
with something original!

I didn't answer ruewens original question, but what I learned from my ex
was to be really, really sad. I learned that because you love and trust
someone doesn't mean they won't lie to you. And you can't change how
someone else feels. If they decide after years of marriage they don't
love you any more, then you can't make them remember and feel that love
again. It just doesn't work. Okay, now I will dry my tears and go for a
bike ride.

bonniejean,
tks for the advice.
i might come to you for inspiration in the future!

i stick to adages cos they're so often true.
i know. familiarity breed contempt.

heh.

Pay closer attention to how they interact w/ their family. Usually a
very good judge of character(!) Could probably come up w/ alot of
reasons/excuses why I missed it,yet wouldn't change a thing. (Wouldn't
have my beautiful daughter & I cant imagine life w/o her!)

I have learned one valuable lesson from my ex...if you don't have a good
relationship outside of the bedroom, its never going to work. You can
not stay in bed forever...so without communication, your relationship
will fade away fast!!

We learn in all our life. Unfortunatelly most of the time we learn by
hard way. Pain is what leaves marks in our heart and makes us remmeber
the mistakes we make.

I learned a lot. If the relation goes bad, the first question I ask
myself is: "What I did wrong?" I try to dont make the same mistake. I
try to be a good person even that sometimes the Devil goues out of me...

I learned to be patient.
I learned to dont change the person with who I am. Dont even try.
I learned to dont make compromises with myself.
I learned to dont change myself because after awhile I will hate myself
because of that.
And
I learned that people change. Dont expect the person who you love to be
the same for 10-20 years. I wasnt the same before 5 years. And I am not
sure I wanna be the same. But I am sure I want to find the peace in soul
that I lost...

Thats cool Shu,And you shouldn`t change,Your right you will feel bad
about it later.

true words, shu.

in fact, many times i think i'm not the same person i was yesterday.

it only shows that we're growing every day
(and sometimes backsliding////)

wait for marriage

Fyresyren you take the words right out of my mouth. Enough said.

The biggest thing I learned was to trust my gut and not rely on what
others said. When ever fiber of your being says something is not right,
something is probably not right.

Excerpted from Please Understand Me II
Copyright© 1998 by David Keirsey

If I do not want what you want, please try not to tell me that my want
is wrong.
Or if I believe other than you, at least pause before you correct my
view.
Or if my emotion is less than yours, or more, given the same
circumstances, try not to ask me to feel more strongly or weakly.
Or yet if I act, or fail to act, in the manner of your design for
action, let me be.
I do not, for the moment at least, ask you to understand me. That will
come only when you are willing to give up changing me into a copy of
you.
I may be your spouse, your parent, your offsping, your friend, or your
colleague. If you will allow me any of my own wants, or emotions, or
beliefs, or actions, then you open yourself, so that some day these ways
of mine might not seem so wrong, and might finally appear to you as
right - for me. To put up with me is the first step to understanding me.
Not that you embrace my ways as right for you, but that you are no
longer irritated or disappointed with me for my seeming waywardness. And
in understanding me you might come to prize my differences from you,
and, far from seeking to change me, preserve and even nurture those
differences.

That I don't need a man around to help me with anything!! I can work on
my own vehicle and do everything on my own even raising 3 kids. Pretty
much done that the last 8 yrs.