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| Topic: The "Shades" of Deception | |
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I am for "white lies" I don't care what color another paints them, I think that NO ONE wants to hear the REAL truth all of the time... If someone isn't attractive do they want to know it? I doubt it.. If a friend just LOVES a dress and you don't think it looks good on her or it's just an ugly dress to you, is it kind to tell her? I think some use "honesty" as an excuse to be mean at times.. sometimes the complete truth just isn't necessary.. If it's not going to help and only going to hurt another, WHY must one be brutally honest? I think class and tack should be interjected in the truth you tell and at times having more class and tact suits me much better than being considered completely honest b/c I chose to save feelings and tell a "white lie".. Well, that goes towards the olde saying of Eire-land: "Tell the sweet truth" ... Just because we think it, does not justify the to-tal bein' blurted out sans filter ... There is a time for constructive criticism and it is tricky waters, takes intentioned practice ... I endeavour towards that in the personal one on ones, truth - that will build up, assist ... Omission of that which would brutally tear down for no good gained ... There is a way to leave the critical mercenary at home ... There are the times when a person asks for the most painful, stripped down version; I hate those - and will participate if I can trust the person really is up to the info ... (Rare!) BTW ... You look marbleous ... 
 ... And, this year REALLY does make my arse look phat!
Tellin' ourselves the whole truth can be just the worst! ... 
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Edited by
Ruth34611
on
Sat 08/28/10 05:34 PM
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Ok, my fault we got off topic. I would like to hear from anyone who knowing decieved someone and I'd like to know why? Hopefully we are not back on topic. 
I don't think it's any great mystery. People who lie do so because they know they need to to get what they want. They either give false information or omit information that, if known, would prevent them from getting what they want. I think it is really that simple. Oh, and I don't think they always do it to hurt another person. I think a lot of the time they believe it's not a big deal to lie about something. |
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Edited by
Dancere
on
Sat 08/28/10 06:11 PM
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Eloquently said Joy and I agree wholeheartedly. BTW, that dress is fugly. 
And I'm sure my butt looks big
Thank you Chrissy... 
Oh look who's talkin'....I've been meaning to talk to you about that shirt.
sheesh, my shirt, my dress, my butt.. Where are the white lies? I want them, like them, love them... 
Sorry Kate
Ok, my fault we got off topic. I would like to hear from anyone who knowing decieved someone and I'd like to know why? Hopefully we are not back on topic.
ZOMG ... Y'all know me well enough that I'm ALWAYS up for bein' takin' right out the airplane w/out a chute off topic in the name of laughin' ...
Dunnay why I even got off on this heavy subject that'll never EVER be solved ... 
The liars that could edify NEVER show ... And when they do, they lie ...  : ... Duh ... 
BTW ... ... The lies really are fat and make 'em look thin!!!
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Lying rots my stomach...cant handle it
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Ok, my fault we got off topic. I would like to hear from anyone who knowing decieved someone and I'd like to know why? Hopefully we are not back on topic.
I don't think it's any great mystery. People who lie do so because they know they need to to get what they want. They either give false information or omit information that, if known, would prevent them from getting what they want. I think it is really that simple. Oh, and I don't think they always do it to hurt another person. I think a lot of the time they believe it's not a big deal to lie about something. I agree with Ruth.. I mean there are some people that just lie to make themselves feel better, to get something out of another person or to save their own azzes but all in all I like to think of people as good until they prove otherwise.... |
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I don't think it's any great mystery. People who lie do so because they know they need to to get what they want. They either give false information or omit information that, if known, would prevent them from getting what they want. I think it is really that simple. Oh, and I don't think they always do it to hurt another person. I think a lot of the time they believe it's not a big deal to lie about something. I think this invariably takes a person that grossly lies first, foremost and best to themselves! They don't even know the truth anymore, their own lines are SO blurred ... There is not so much a pay off anymore, as just instinctual, rote habit ...  ... Don't know, but that is my best analyzed guess!?
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Oh and I forgot-- The one's that lie to get people to think more of them b/c they don't feel that who they as they are is enough, I guess...
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Lying rots my stomach...cant handle it
ME TOO!!! Anthropology states that we first invented language to lie ... 
Speakin' of tummies as radar ... I believe that ... Our highest self knows the difference between a lie and truth ... We just don't always listen ... There were yellow, and even red lights! We somehow choose deception and deceivers as a part and parcel of life's more painful lessons ... The ole University of Hard Knocks! That is the trickiest part when in the throes of being deceived, it is just too painful to process neutrally! It is SO shocking to later realize ya somehow actually chose to install this entity/obstacle into such a fundamental position in your life ... Ya look back in such a more level and emotionally stabilized position earned ... And, realize that your trust is not at all diminished, rather your focus is sharpened to SUCH a more heightened, selective degree; the bullets so increase awareness to an almost supernatural level, uh??? Therein lies the gratitude and wisdom earned ... 
That goes for any betrayal along life's long journey ... |
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I don't think it's any great mystery. People who lie do so because they know they need to to get what they want. They either give false information or omit information that, if known, would prevent them from getting what they want. I think it is really that simple. Oh, and I don't think they always do it to hurt another person. I think a lot of the time they believe it's not a big deal to lie about something. I think this invariably takes a person that grossly lies first, foremost and best to themselves! They don't even know the truth anymore, their own lines are SO blurred ... There is not so much a pay off anymore, as just instinctual, rote habit ... ... Don't know, but that is my best analyzed guess!?
Well, we have all lied to ourselves more than we probably care to admit. But, true growth and evolution can only take place when we face the truth about ourselves. Hardest, but most rewarding, thing to do. |
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Everything is never as it seems
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I don't think it's any great mystery. People who lie do so because they know they need to to get what they want. They either give false information or omit information that, if known, would prevent them from getting what they want. I think it is really that simple. Oh, and I don't think they always do it to hurt another person. I think a lot of the time they believe it's not a big deal to lie about something. I think this invariably takes a person that grossly lies first, foremost and best to themselves! They don't even know the truth anymore, their own lines are SO blurred ... There is not so much a pay off anymore, as just instinctual, rote habit ... ... Don't know, but that is my best analyzed guess!?
Well, we have all lied to ourselves more than we probably care to admit. But, true growth and evolution can only take place when we face the truth about ourselves. Hardest, but most rewarding, thing to do. Isn't that the truth and prolly the crux of the entire matter!!! I agree, believe and witness this scripture BEST: "The heart is deceitful above all things" ... We mislead ourselves, first and foremost, believe what we wanna think ... The greatest challenge is to speak the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth within ... AND ... Tricky to simultaneously do in a purposefully positive, optimistic, healing, majikal thinking sort of way, uh? Razor's Edge Tight Rope ... I reckon when we get it right, we vibrate/translate on out and UP ... 
... If we don't, we return and pick up right where we left off ...
Life's work this honesty serum bidness ...
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Everything is never as it seems Nothing is ever as it appears ... We can but hope for silver linings in the grey, opaque and obscure ... 
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Honesty bites you in the a** too much, but that hasn't stopped me. Why do people lie? Fear, I think that is about it...that or they are actually an alien and they can't giveaway the fact that they were born on Neptune.
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When it comes down to it, I do my absolute best to follow the advice of my Grandfather:
"Always tell the truth, because that way, you don't have to remember what you said." |
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When it comes down to it, I do my absolute best to follow the advice of my Grandfather: "Always tell the truth, because that way, you don't have to remember what you said." lol, our grandparents went to the same school,,lol old school knowledge, I wish there was more of it being promoted,,, |
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Wow lying is such a big subject. Lot of degrees and so forth.
I kind of compair white lies to mold. While most only have a kernal of desception (because yes most know from that yucky tummy feeling we all get when we know we are being lied to) that it is happening. That spore that passes with the lie tends to grow especially if it isn't hit directly with the light. First it is kind of warm and fuzzy looking, not to intimidateing but left unchecked it has the tendcy to grow to a breath chokeing disaster. What is sad is most white lies are not necessary. Usually you can shut up, change the subject, or substitute and acceptable truth. Working withthe profoundly disabled and doing hospice the idea of "theraputic lying" comes up a lot. Do you let people think what they want to think and ask for the truth when tey are ready for it or we think they can handle it or tell a lie to comfort or "be Kind"? Most people cope much better witht he truth and often know it before others do. The whole idea of are they rational enough to accept the truth can be dicey? My experience there still is the majoity of the the time the truth is the best reality. turth is simpler, and easy to remember, and at least it is conistent. Lies tend to shift around and take much better coordination and compliance and you can't alsways count on that. If someone is dying they aren't kidding themselves that all things are roses and want to know if they are having a bad day, how much time they have to work with, and can the trust the people they are depending on for honesty. Yes it hurts to hear you look sick, frightening, or someone is afraid to be around you because they don't know what to say or do but it is also kind of nice to know you are not the only one who doesn't have all the answers. Good thing with people being "painfully honest" if you get a positive remark it actually is believeable and not just one more loss. I agree with those who suggest honesty does need to be tempered with tact and not just simply be brutal. Not a lot of fun being beat up with the truth ever. Sometimes it is necessary but that is only in extream situations where a person's life, their saftey, or maybe their livelyhood is hanging in the balance. The sign of a true friend is when they tell us the truths we sometimes least want to hear. Lies of omission are tuffies. I am not sure all are intentional but peer pressure and how we want to be persieved or how hard we want to work on something is often behind that kind of lie. To me the worst kind of lies are the ones we tell ourselves. If you can't be your own best friend then nobody can. I know the ones I have told myself are always the ones that have hurt me most. The ones where we promise to be faitthful to our own needs are a big one for parents and partners. True being selfish is a lie also but being a marter or telling yourself you will do better next time comes at a price too. I do think a certain amount of lying is human. Especially the one told in places of fear or desire to fit in. Some people do get so hooked on the rush of lying they can't seem to stop. I think for some they just never develope trust in the truth. I have seen that alot in abused kids and some adults. The truth to them is whatever keeps them alive for the moment. Sometimes it is just a bad habit. I suppose for some it is "play" or fantasy that gets to be a habit or worse and addiction. That is pretty much the backbone of many lies. |
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It's pretty simple...
This is MY truth...I choose to not edit, soften, or manipulate the truth because it reduces the core essence of the Who of me. ...and if it isn't received well....tough sh*te!...I refuse to be less.
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did clinton lie? i did not have sex with that woman daddy bush no new taxes baby bush WMD.... did they lie? FYI "Baby" Bush did not lie. He believed what he said. What he said may have been false, but he did not know that. |
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did clinton lie? i did not have sex with that woman daddy bush no new taxes baby bush WMD.... did they lie? hm, thats interesting, Im not sure if one can LIE about a prediction(an event that hasnt yet happened...) and I think the clinton quote depends entirely on ones definition of sex for me, at least, sex is the action which was created for procreation(male plug in female socket), with the exception of homosexual male sex which is a male plug in a male exit,,,, everything else is foreplay and fondling,,but thats MY view of sex and not necessarily everyones, I dont know how clinton views sex so I cant say if he was lying,,, Uh, Clinton's semen was found on Lewinsky's dress. How did that get there? FWIW, when the Clinton sex scandal broke, Clinton denied ever knowing Lewinsky. We now return to our regularly scheduled program . . . |
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When discusing the topic of lying, it would be helpful to define lying.
To me, if a person says something that is false, then the person has to know that it is false in order to lie. However, if a person says something that is false, but the person believes what is said, then the person has not lied. |
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