you always make me giggle!!

When that guy asked me

"are those real!". Lol

(5am phonecall)


"I couldnt cum without you this morning".



"Youre tuff and funny, I like you." (new friend)



"Lick your nipples for me" (a text message I got while on a bus)


(Stranger in a public place) "I miss my teeth"

Me: I think I left my heart there.
Her: Don't worry, I'll take good care of it for you.

Apparently, there is no cure for you.

Gracie (my 2 yr old niece) singing "Iron Man's my boyfriend, he love me alllll the daaaay, he saves me from scary maaaaaan!"

Me (giggling) "Grace, I love Iron Man too. Can he be my boyfriend?"

Gracie (glares) "Get your own man."

Me (... ... )

Gracie (evil laugh... )

It took me a month to read that, Sunny, but that's hilarious.


"
Me: I hope I don't mess it up.

Him: It's nice to have something to mess up, huh?

Me: Yeah... it really is.

"

This is cute. Both of you. ^^^


To me:
"I'll have to bring some alcohol if we ever meet."

Me - I have been looking at apartments in Germantown

Ex-Wife - Thats a really nice area I have a couple friends that live there.

Me - You actually have friends?

Ex-Wife - Some things never change. You are still an azzhole.

Thanks PP , Row She's a damn cute kid. Totally attitude and pigtails She looooves this cat so much it's ridiculous.


Today I went to Tim Horton's to buy a coffee and asked for the biggest double double they had.

The cashier(a 50yr old lil Hispanic lady) says she can give me an extra large.

I sigh and say that's never quite big enough.

She says "Tell me about it. They always SAY it's an extra large and then we're left disappointed."

I don't know what to say so I laugh and say "Tell me about it."

And she replies with "I know right?!?! That'll be $1.72"

OMG she's angelic! Adorable.
Hahaha the xtra large is never big enough!

JW - I disagree with her.

Hahaha. Great picture, Sunny.

I have about a thousand photos of my cat from when I was a little kid.

I know right? She's got the best evil toddler laugh ever. I'm trying to get mine up to par.

@rowbaby

what? no cure for you?

ummm, have u contemplated an address change, at the very least a temporary long term vacation??? that's a little unnerving methinks

Some guy told me that the contrast of my dark hair and pink shirt and black pants looked good.

My great dane had a slight accident with the dining room window so I had to call someone in to repair it.

2 guys arrived and they were busy fitting the new pane of glass.

Here's how the conversation went:

Worker: 'You have a cute accent. Where do you come from?'
Me: 'Originally from England'
Worker: 'WOW! That's really cool. You speak English really well. What language do they speak over there?'

Well, one of my new coworkers told me about all of the interesting places she's lived, really quite interesting.

As for funny, it really just has not been a funny last few days. I did get some humorous comments about steamed vegetables over the weekend but it would take too long to explain.

As for awkward. Some pervy questions this guy asked me - awkward

Misti: Sara's kinda obsessed with Twitter.

Nigel: What does that even do?

Me: Nothing really. I only really use it for stalking celebrities and texting a couple of friends.

Nigel: Oh.

Misti: Yea, she's got some cool people on there actually. She tells me all about it.

Nigel: For reals? Like who?

Me: Well people like Simon Pegg, John Mayer, Snoop Dogg, Nathan Fillion and Neil Patrick Harris. You know...

Nigel: Sounds gay... Except Snoop... And Neil Patrick Harris. That guy is the BOMB! I always think he really died because he died in Harold and Kumar. Whatever happened to him?

Me and Misti at the same time: He's gay.

Nigel: *hits himself in the face with a bong*

"A female not named for the sake of privacy at location not revealed to mingle readers"

- (to me) You are a really a medicine.