If you are dating someone and it is looking like things could go into the real relationship type thing, how much of their past do you really want to know or how much is relevant?

For example if a woman has made the choice to have an abortion in her past. Is that important or relevant now?

Same type scenerio for a man, say he has been in jail for a bar room fight when he was young or racing cars.

Is this stuff that would change the course of the relationship?

Or what information would change the course of the relationship?

Sorry mods meant to post it here.

There are some things like jail time or abortion(s) that I would find relevant. But mostly, I really don't need to know a whole lot.

Of course, there may be some things in their past relationships that could be pretty relevant, such as physical abuse, if they haven't been able to fully deal with those things.

I think it would be important to make sure she really was a woman.

Hummm well I would want to know if they have a criminal record. But if they have not killed someone or been busted or a woman beater then all the other stuff could be told within time if they trust you enough to tell their deepest darkest secrets.........Main thing for me would be the things above..... sure some more may come to mind in a few...........

And sex changes

The past is the past. I do like to know about her past, but only to learn more about her if I like her.

Their past is part of who they are. Some things that may be important to some may not matter to others. It's best to get the important stuff out of the way first.

The first 8 inches........wait minute....what was the question?

it only matters to me if it matters to them

if they got arrested I wouldn't care, it's in the past
if they had an abortion or another big thing it'd matter but it wouldn't affect my relationship with them.

Nothing from someone's past would change how I feel about the person now, the only thing that would is if she tried to kill me or something pretty bad

The past is the past....if something is still affecting your life now and a new partnership then bring it up, if not why tell them everything, unless asked. I don't think our entire lives need to be vomited out on another...most rally don't want to hear it anyway.

I think this differs from one to another... I would scale it based on the person today and what they'd one in the past, and how long ago was it.

If the relationship becomes intimate,,it all matters. What we do with it is another matter though. For instance, because I am a mom, Id like to know if my partner has children they dont take care of,,it gives me at least a guide of what to watch for. If they have a history of infedelity or promiscuity,,,same thing. If they have been imprisoned for harming someone , that would be significant too.
If they have been with men,, thats a deal breaker. If they are currently married, same thing. If they killed an ex,,,deal breaker.

I am sorry to say it, but at this point in my life, as a single mom, there are really FAR TOO MANY people who do not have these types of pasts without me risking myself or my children by choosing someone who does.

I have served hard time........

seat belt violation......twice.

I ain't kidding....I was gonna pay $180? Hell no!

( that was 17 years ago I now wear my seat belt now that I am not a rebellious punk)

What people should be more worried about is the stuff I have gotten away with.......recently.

I think it should matter if they was a pedophile, serial killer or bed burner.

I believe the past is the past. I mainly look at who they today. What kind of heart they have today.

it matters - but you don't have to be a rhodes scholar

as long as you love me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pO15L7MPLAw

My attitude has always been "Tell me what you want me to know, and when it's comfortable for you." I figure whatever happened before I knew her is mostly irrelevant and entirely out of my jurisdiction.

And, sure, there are going to be some -- at the very least -- potential issues. Has she ever killed anybody? That might be information I'd want to know. But there probably aren't a whole lot of people out there who have done that.

I'm not one to pry, to try to dig stuff out. Let these things come out naturally, over time, if at all.

Yes, I definitely want to know if they killed someone...we can compare notes.

That person you care for, is the sum total
of who they were, who they are and who they
are going to be.

I like guys to be who they really are.
This can be fascinating. Particularly as I have
led quite a sheltered life. I applaud anything
that gives life experience, I really don't
care what made them who they are, just that they
be it.

No matter what they told me, I would honor their
uniquemess, and celebrate the today. The past is
insignificant, except that it formed them, therefore
remembered, but not used as a weapon.

Most important to me is anything that could affect their relationship with my children...

Like a violent nature or abuser whether it be emotional, physical, or sexual.

AND Sex offender .....



Do NOT care if they say they've changed. Not workin for me.


I think one of the biggest problems with dating/relationships when you have kids is watching out for their safety.

Wayyyyyyyyy too many horror stories of unacceptable behavior a guy may try on a SO's children.

No thanks. Then I'd have to kill them