I agreed they shouldn't put up with it..absolutely not. No one should put up with it. And yes, he should defend himself, hitting back isn't self defense, it's hitting back. Walk away..I have been hit by other women and have walked away instead of hitting back. It's just as easy, if not easier.

I let a girl full rounded slap my face when I was 16,,I told her then that if she ever done that or had that urge to do that to me again,,we would be done,,she never did THAT,,she just like to make
some other guy her pillow,,,wink,
IF a dude is getting smacked,,HE can and SHOULD get away from that
because,,the woman CAN,,and at some point,,other hurt him with something,,or get him jailed by lying as saying HE WAS ABUSIVE to her...
I would never man handle a woman,,nor would I ever allow one to be that way with me,,THATS NOT LOVE,,,,,,END OF STORY!
no matter WHO IS BEING CRUEL,,,,,,

Every situation is different.

A friend of mine got hit in the back of the head once by a gf wielding a heavy ceramic lamp. She almost managed to knock him out, and she came at him with a kitchen knife as he was staggering up. She almost got him, did slash his arm. He managed to respond enough to punch her in the gut, and then hauled *** out the door and down to some neighbor friends, where they called the police.

He did what he had to do, survived, had to play games with her try to file charges of assault against him, and he against her. He won, fortunately.

He used enough force to defend himself. No more, no less. If he had just tried to get away, the cops figure she probably would have stabbed him in the back.

I have no issues with someone who is essentially a gentle man, using whatever is needed to defend himself.

I have no issue with any adult who hits soemone being hit back,,,with reasonable force, regardless of gender.


If Man A pushes Man B and Man B hits him with a bat,,,,unreasonable, same as if a man hits a woman or a woman hits a man


If a man pushes a man and he pushes back,,,reasonable,
same as if a man hits a woman or a woman hits a man


If a man punches a man and he punches him back,, reasonable
same as if a man hits a woman or a woman hits a man

of course the HIGH ROAD in any of these situations is for the one first assaulted to just walk away if possible, but I dont consider it so terrible if they meet force with equal force either

I dont think gender should determine the seriousness of the assault...dont hit, and you wont get hit back,,,

As a pacifist I always feel that avoidance of any violence is best
I do understand... no one should ever have to just deal with being abused and has to the freedom to make the choice to do what they need to do...

I do feel gender is a factor though. I have sons and never want them to think it is acceptable to hit a woman, it is not.

ur an awesome soul lady..

I am non aggressive non violent myself....but I think it is acceptable for my children, once they are grown, to hit back any adult who hits them

I teach my son(and my daughter) not to be a bully (of males or females) but if someone hits him, he can choose to walk away or hit back and I wont think less of either choice,,

My boys have the choice also..they know how I feel, they get to choose for themselves. And they have been in fights and have hit...their not angels...lol I don't punish them for their choices, I do let them know of the consequences of their choices. We can never hurt another without hurting ourselves in some way.

Cant stand people who protect their abusers

Can't stand? Why feel that way about them? They are in pain and hurting enough already..why you you be angry at them, that doesn't help them.

God my reasons besides THATS my opinion

....and you posted your opinion..soooo I'm just asking

One of my parents taught me that I shouldn't hit a woman; That was my mom. My dad was an abuser. I got to see that first hand when I was a child with my stepmom. I seen the same fear in my ex's eyes that I had as a child with my dad. So I had mixed signals coming in. I would have to agree to don't hit if you don't want to be hit back.

Defending yourself, protecting yourself is completely acceptable...no one should be hit by anyone..ever. I'm just wondering why we wouldn't want to seek solutions instead of..just hit back.

At this moment I'm so very grateful that I'm a pacifist and none of this makes sense to me. It's the same old "eye for an eye' mentality that continues to breed violence.

Abusiveness is about control. Someone that abuses another person

1 instills fear in another individual making them more open to the mental aspect of abusiveness

2 takes away their self-confidence and self-worth making them think they are not good enough for their partner or anyone else

3 makes them think that they must stay with the abuser and they have no other recourse

It can be a hard cycle to break, especially if the individual has been threatened or even their freinds and family.

I did try to seek solutions, later. One of the solutions was trying to learn how to communicate. My ex communicated just fine. She had a normal childhood where communication was permitted and even encouraged. When I grew up if a child said anything that was taken as 'back talk'. Dad had a good right hook and mom still has a good back hand but she is 74 now. Yeah, I think I can take her now. Just kidding, I love my mom. Grew up in 'feuding south'; Like the Martins and McCoys stuff. We were raised in violence. I like pacifism.

I understand, I come from a long line of violence...for me it was a factor for tipping the scales the far opposite direction. I'm not making light of it or saying it is easy, we have to start somewhere and in Gandhi's words.."we must become the change we wish to see."

I hear ya. I am quite proud of my daughter. At one time she was gay and asked me why she was. I really didn't know how to answer her. Freaked my son and me both out when she broke up with her girl friend and she got into a relationship with a guy. Now she is broke up with him. But now she has friends. Said she didn't want to marry a guy because of the way her mom and me interacted. But she still calls. I told she ought to go back into studying counseling because she was happy doing that. Son is doing good, too. He works for my ex mother-in-law. I got a beautiful grand daughter because of him. Daughter and son have been close with me even though they have their own lives. We keep in touch. Ex has a great relationship with her new husband. Yeah, you got to start somewheres.

my reason for sayin this my favourite aunt is in a grave because her husband put her there beat the shiit out of her .. nobody knew she was being abuse .. she was so happy and vibrant always cheerful .. they looked like the prefect couple .. maybe if she had told somebody she would a be alive but no she didn't tell us until we read her diary am not being mean or bashing anyone i just don't like people who protect their abusers or people who wash the blood out of the killers clothes .

I just feel if we are going to be passionate about teaching men not to hit a woman back,, why not go all the way and make it just as bad to hit a man back?

Sometimes an accident is an accident and just because someone gets into a physical altercation doesnt mean they will be the type to later kill their partner. I think each situation is different and people need to weigh in honestly about the type of partner they have. An Ike Turner, who had noone telling him he was wrong and did not feel he was wrong and felt the RIGHT to control Tina,,,, is different than a Chris Brown who knew he was wrong, admitted he was wrong, sought help, and had a support system of people discouraging that behavior,,,,


each relationship is different, and I honestly feel only those two people involved know what the whole story is,, or the solution.

Sorry but I still stick with no man should EVER hit a woman. Walk away, not to make gender comparisons but MOST men are stronger than ladies and have the power to just leave!!!! No one has the right to hit another BUT men have the power to do the right thing!!