how can you say he will change he did it once there is a possibility that he will do it again maybe a couple of years again lets be frank you both having an argument you said something that hurts his ego its just gonna come to him naturally to slap you

A lot of times it involves psychological abuse too. They convince the victims that it is the victims fault and they deserved it. Or that they are very sorry and love them so much.

Most abusers break the victims self esteem down so the victim will believe what is told to them.

Abusive is a vicious cycle only the victim can break otherwise it just escalates with family and friends for support the cycle can be broken

the same way obese people change eating habits, or smokers stop smoking,, people can make thc choice to CHANGE anything about themself,, they just have to be interested and willing to do the work

people deserve a second chance maybe third or fourth we only humans right .. but kids who grow up seeing mommy and daddy fighting all the time chances are they grow up with the same hostile behaviour

most likely the child grow up to think that is right to beat on the opposite sex

not necessarily...perhaps a child will grow up knowing it's wrong and NOT want to abuse anyone..ever.

In my situation, it was a sneak attack. He was great while we dated, never saw it coming. Once we married, he changed almost over night. And then I got pregnant. Being a person not used to dealing with an abuser, and thinking "til death do us part", I assumed it was something that could get fixed with counseling & better communication. And it was scary, being pregnant, making a commitment to God that had to get broken, knowing he was a vindictive piece of crap and causing so much grief, having to tell my friends and family that I obviously got duped, etc.
So, it's not always about self-esteem problems or being used to being abused, folks.

i rather be single forever than be in an abusive relationship at least i get to die in one piece.

your right, not always...you got out. Those who stick around eventually end up with those other issues...

abuse doesnt change it actually can be a pattern between families
the guy that hit me i was only with him for a week so i didnt even know his history. when he had to go to court the judge said something about assult and battery when i ask him later he said his po was just mad at him. to find out he attack his ex gf bf. they were together for 4yrs and he accused her on cheating which it was actually him.. he had a fling with this one girl where he hit her but she didnt press charges the 2nd time he hit her the hospitol pressed charges for he had hit her with a tire iron... i was actually lucky to get away like i did.. a couple yrs ago i got a letter from the da stating he was back in jail and i didnt know why i got the letter telling me to find out he was in jail for attacking a 65yr old lady... his ex gf told me his mom wore the pants in the family and when i met her it totally showed she had a very angery personality i dont know why his dad stayed

there was another guy i was with when my daughter was little and we had talked about getting married but he was a big time mamma boy and everytime we had a problem he ran to his mom. there was one day i was babysitting my oldest nephew and my sister brought me home and we had been arguing all that week mainly about money i walked in and we go inot it again. he left of course and went and got his mommy.. i got on the phone with my sister and while i was talking to her, he comes in with his mom holding a knife of course he didnt do anything. by this time i was screaming and my sister got off the phone called my mom and my dad and my mom bf at the time called the police. i was out of there in no time... my daughter at 2yrs old hated his mom.. no child that age would hate anyone. .but she did... his step dad was a sweet heart and she adored him. i dont know why he stayed as long as he did.


the last guy that i was with for 3yrs and he died 3yrs ago
he had a good heart he never hit me but he was emotional abusive due to the fact that his step dad and his mom was the same way
and my attitude was changing where he felt i needed counsling so i went to please him but it wasent me that was having the problem it was him. my mom even said if i had went back to him the problem would had came back


i had only been in 3 relationships like what i posted and thats pretty much enough... for no one deserves to be treated like that.

Queen thanks for sharing that ... wish you all the best

i have pretty much learned my lesson and if i really need to check into someone my sister neighbor is a sheriff so all i have to do is ask him. when the guy that hit me. i had called the jail for he had tried to call me collect. not realizing that the cop that answered the phone was my sister neighbor. he placed a block on the line where that guy coudnt even call me.. when he was released from jail he paged me and i didnt reconize his pager number and when i found out it was him i called the police and they said they couldnt do anything but yet there was a restraing order that he couldnt contact me in fact they were supose to contact me when he was released but they didnt

every human can change, some just dont wish to or try to...

we just have to be cautious in deciding which type we are with when obstacles arise,,,

Alot of people may have the drive stamina potential to change and just don't on numerous of times i sit in my business class my body is there but my mind is so far away .

if every human can change would that even consider men cheating
come on. my ex hubby never changed while we were separated he got together with this one lady and they had a child together i gave him over a yr to get his butt off the couch to file he didnt want to for he didnt want to pay he cheated on the gf with his 2nd wife when he met her he told her that we were divorced which wasent even so he met her during the summer and our divorce wasent final untill september.... they had a child together and i know for a fact he cheated on her.. i know my ex hubby well enough to know

no one willingly goes into a bad relationship. for me and my ex husband, he was charming, treated me like a queen. he was wonderful. 3 months after me were married the verbal abuse started. he belittled me, destroyed my self confidence. then he started hitting me. but it was only when i screwed up in his eyes. i knew that it was wrong. but i stayed. cuz i didnt believe in divorce. until the night he strangled me. i left and didnt look back. hardest thing i ever did but was also the best.

My parents taught us that I should never hit a man, or I' better expect to get hit back. If he swung first, then put him down. My brother got never hit a woman, but if she swung first, he had full rights to stop it.

NO ONE deserves to get hit, male or female, and they shouldn't have to just put up with it because of their sex.

every human can change IF they wish to,,,,the IF is very important

some do genuinely feel remorseful for hurting loved ones and they take the effort to change,,,others dont care,,,,,

the ones that dont care to change are the ones who wont.

For the most part. Barring mental illness, just about everyone is capable of change...however, in the dating world it has been my experience that we would rather say 'they couldn't change' because it makes our mistake of staying with whoever it was, err, lesser?

--Sorry, I've been up too long and couldn't find a more appropriate word than 'lesser.'