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| Topic: WHY DID THE PERSON ABOVE YOU GOT ARRESTED | |
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For breaking in to the Lincoln Park Zoo and strangling the life out of every god damned chimpanzee in the monkey house while children stare at you through the thick glass windows and cry and scream and beg you to stop. Don't they understand?!? You would love nothing more than to stop. Than to let these stupid apes go about their day. Eat bananas and continue their ribald antics? You are doing this for them! For the children! You can't let them live in a world dominated by god damned stinking apes! You cannot and will not! I've seen the future god dammit, and call me old fashioned, but I feel like when a man sees the future he has a god damned responsibility to the children! Marry me. He used the word "ribald", are you sure you want to marry him?! 
For **** blocking Yes Tromette, I will marry you! |
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For breaking in to the Lincoln Park Zoo and strangling the life out of every god damned chimpanzee in the monkey house while children stare at you through the thick glass windows and cry and scream and beg you to stop. Don't they understand?!? You would love nothing more than to stop. Than to let these stupid apes go about their day. Eat bananas and continue their ribald antics? You are doing this for them! For the children! You can't let them live in a world dominated by god damned stinking apes! You cannot and will not! I've seen the future god dammit, and call me old fashioned, but I feel like when a man sees the future he has a god damned responsibility to the children! Marry me. He used the word "ribald", are you sure you want to marry him?!
For **** blocking Yes Tromette, I will marry you! We should bone first. You know, to make sure we're compatible. |
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Ummm.... Not really sure
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For trying to "kidnap" me to New York. 
  (((Christine)))
Lolol Hugzzz Ed!
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for succeeding in the kidnapping the pres. of BP Oil and demanding the cleaning up of the spill or his head will be chopped off (not by her but her lynch mob)
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She went into a Kwiky Mart and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. The take was too small, so she tied up the store clerk and worked the counter herself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed her.
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For stealing all the squirrels nuts and making out with the chipmunks
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 That was a first time offense and they told me that was expunged! Why can't we let bygones be bygones?!?! 
She used the finger under her coat trick to simulate a gun during a robbery on an ice cream truck, but when her cell phone rang, she exposed her 'finger' gun and so the ice cream man sub-dued her with a box of ice cream sandwiches until police came. |
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For callin the police and making false accusations of women having a gun and robbing a Kwicky Mart.
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For callin the police and making false accusations of women having a gun and robbing a Kwicky Mart. trying to lick the Easter bunny insisting he was made of chocolate! |
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impersonating Obama very badly!
 
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For pretending he is jesus but really is the devil
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By shoplifting bras @ the local W. for homeless women.
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Animal exploitation, taught his dog to drive him home after long nights of hard partying
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For attempting to rob a Vegas casino
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molesting me in public (I bailed her out so she could do it some more, though)
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For some strange reason there is a law against being too dorky. This man has violated this law (amongst many other things!) many, many times. Three strikes and you're OUT! 10-20-Life...
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For flashing old ladies at the senior's center
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For streaking through a Yankees baseball game
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hey I had a few to drink.... but why on earth were you smuggling men over the boarder in the trunk of your car... and why were they all naked?
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