well,seeing as we are going there..lol

back when i was still in the Army,
i was driving down the back roads whilst my gf was giving me oral,and i started to enter a small town.
as i continued on,the road changed from 2 lanes to 1.

the only problem there was,the lane ended on the Left,instead of the Right,and i suddenly ended up driving in the grass/median.
( who designs roads like That! )

my gf thought this was great and continued.
as i struggled to get back on the road,at about 40 mph,i noticed the police officer going the other direction.
he noticed too.

i tried to get her to stop,and took a quick left and pulled over as the police car flew up behind us...

unfortunately,she mistook my words for encouragement,and so the police officer was greeted by the full monty as he came up to the door.

needless to say,i got a ticket,which i paid thru the mail and didnt go to court for..
didnt even want to think how that would have went in court,asking for a reduction

My memory, or thereofore lack of. People asking me about things, remember this? we went there? More often than not, nope.
And it's from a M/C accidnt with a bear not substance abuse.
Very zen actually. hehe

I set my chin on fire while attempting a flaming shot. Ugh, very embarrassing, especially on one of the first few dates with that guy! No wonder I don't drink much any more...

Bein' caught listening to Night Ranger!

My girlfriend was giving me head in her car while we were parked in the back of an elementary school at night. A couple of my other friends had come with us and were just playing on the swings and stuff.

I see these flashlights coming towards us and I think that my friends are ****ing with me so I crank the window down just as I realize...

...that it's two bicycle cops.

So my girlfriend stops and sits up and now I've got one cop with a flashlight directly on my completely erect dick and another pointing a gun at me telling me to put my hands up.

I'm just sitting there with a full erection and I can't even put my hands down 'cause I've got a gun pointed at me.

Embarrassing... yeah. The whole time I'm trying not to bust out laughing, though.

They let me zip it up and just let us go home. Our friends went down the street and we picked them up on the way and told them what happened and my friend Greg nearly passed out laughing.

Now, THAT'S freaking funny! OMG! I hope she finished when you got home.....

That's why you're on the pedestal, you have the best stories.

It was during my probationary/training period as an LAPD Officer and I had to have my partner pull the car over so I could throw up. In full uniform in the bushes at a busy intersection in the middle of Los Angeles. Some nice passerby asked my partner if he wanted him to call an ambulance for me.

Okay...but seriously...the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me was when I was booked for a felony and everyone knew I had been a cop. It's right there on your record. THAT was embarrassing.

Hehehe.
I didn't even know you went through LAPD training. That's sweet.

Dancing tomato for that story. Hehe.

I was a cop for 13 years.

*feels even more embarrassed about story now*
Hehe.

I thought about becoming a cop. Did you like it?

Dancing tomato trumps dancing banana. However, Flying Spaghetti Monster trumps them all!!!

I learned a lot about people and human nature. The good, the bad and the ugly. From the cops, the bad guys (sometimes the cops WERE the bad guys) and everyone in between. I was an adrenaline junkie and it filled a need.

I left when my girls were born to stay home with them. Never looked back. But, I had some good times. Have some funny stories. I'd do it again. But, I don't know if I "liked it".

Well ... Another 'out w/ it' story ... ... Nice!

... Again, your kindred strikes mine ...

I've a feelin' that many of your stories, like mine, can't even begin to be put to print on this site ... And, like me ... ya prolly didn't even blush?

"Busted" ... Indeed ..hehe ...

Kudos for bein' wild in the pale, too!

... We need our very own campfire ...

... You're in good company w/ Plastic and me ...

Christmas time a few years ago, the house is full of family and friends. My stepson (4 at the time)comes out into the living room and asks his mom " where do you keep the keys?"

I asked him "what keys?" Thinking he meant car keys.

His response..."no the keys for your handcuffs mom" he had cuffed his cousin to our bed and he was stuck there for so long he had peed himself.

Hmmm...I can contribute here. More so than I'd like to admit actually but I'll share one similar experience...

My one boyfriend in the last fifteen years had to deal with my five year hiatus from sex by putting out on a pretty regular basis in the first few months. I had some serious built up energy to dissipate. So this one night we leave the bar and I've had a few too many drinks (meaning two) and I start feeling frisky on the way home.

Now this is Vermont and you're more likely to see a herd of deer beside the road than another vehicle at 3am so I decide that I can just hop on pop while he's driving down the road. I'm doing my thing while he's weaving between the two lanes and sure enough, up pulls a car along side and it's a cop of course. He looks in and it's pretty obvious what's going on since I'm facing backwards in the driver's seat occupied by a driver.

Blue lights and we hear him laughing before he even gets to the window. Now at the time I was a state police dispatcher and wouldn't ya know, it's one of the boys. Needless to say, I didn't live it down at work for months and he wrote my boyfriend a warning for "driving with an obstructed view"! Just so he could put that shiit in writing so he could blackmail me down the road!

The troopers would come and be like "Hey Kristy, want to go for a ride-along. I'll drive. "

I'd say that ranks right up there in my most embarrassing moments.