I met a couple different women on the net, and what happened, happened with both of them.


It started out harmless flirting, then went into a little roll playing. I'm find with this, but there is a limit to things with me being on the net "and I let them know this." I'm here to meet people and have fun. Next thing I know as time goes on the conversations start getting a little more serious. Still, i'm fine with this, there is nothing wrong in sharing with somone and to me it's a part of life on how we grow and learn things.

Then the table turns from being a friend and having a little fun, to this person wanting me to get emotionally attached to them. Now, on a normal situation to where the person is in my area or where I can meet them face to face. I might consider getting a little close to them if we can actually spent time together. This situation is where the person lives out of the states and we will never meet, but is pushing for me to get emotionally attached to them, and stating that they are already emotionally attached to me. Sorry, but this will never happen with me on someone I will never meet face to face. It's false feelings to me.


Has this ever happen to you on the net?

If so, how did you deal with it?

If not, how would you think you would deal with it?

Yeah, it happened to me, he turned out to be a psycho and I had to delete my messenger account to get rid of him. The only times I've ever gotten emotionally attached to someone online was when I was stupid enough to believe him when he told me he was emotionally attached to me. Never again.

Maybe you should be more careful about spending too much time talking to them? Many people mistake time spent for feelings shared, when a lot of the time, the other person is just there cause they're bored, not cause they give a damn personally.

Those kinds of people are nothing but scamers.

I have never experienced what you have, however after chatting with someone every night for 5 months, one does tend to get attached.

It sucks, but it does happen.

Confess that your pic is 15 years younger and 140 pounds thinner. Tell her that while you do enjoy the freedom of living in your mother's basement and dancing to Cyndie Lauper tunes in your mom's heels, hose and wedding dress. It is time for you to pursue a higher standard in life and that you want to live in your new love's basement and dance to Cyndie Lauper tunes in HER heels, hose and wedding dress.

That should solve your problem.

Now, let's crank up "Shebop" and get down!

For me, I have never let myself or can let myself get emotionally attached to somone on the net. It's not real for me unless we actually spent time together face to face. I'm up front when I meet people to where I stand. To me it's being honest with yourself. Not that this has anything to do with whethere I care or not. It's along the lines of the other knowing themselves and being on the net. Who knows how a person really is. The last time this happen was over a year ago. I was being pushed and you can't make anyone feel for somone weather you like it or not. So I have limit myself on how far I will go with things. This way, there is no mistake being made on my part and if I feel a person is starting to get attached that i will ne ver meet. I back of in a respectful matter.

Well I have become very emotionally attacthed to someone
in another state. Been writting and flirting for 8 going on 9
months. Matter of fact, I fell in love with him. I had hopes and
dreams of meeting him come spring. Talked about meeting someday.
Who says you can't ever meet?

Perhaps its not for you and thats ok. I sure wish I lived in the
same state as him though. It would be so much easier. If love and
mutual feelings exsist, then travel is worth the risk. If a person
has no intentions of ever meeting someone from another state-
then they should be up front and honest about it. Woman get
emotionally attached and men sometimes don't understand that.
If a person is'nt up front about it and continues the flirting-
well that can be considered leading them on.

Just recently he has backed away all the sudden, leaving the site and deactivating.
Said he did'nt have time for the computor anymore. He wrote me back on yahoo,
but I get the feeling he is saying goodbye without saying it.
Perhaps he can't see a relationship through long distance either and just wants to stay friends.
I am crushed. I had gotton used to his letters and nudges coming
in very regularly and now its empty and gone.

Flirting and conversating over a long time can lead to feelings,
and unless you make it perfectly clear that you just want to remain
friends from the start. Things will happen. This is a dating site.
Sorry for the long response, this post just hit a nerve in me.
This may be the net but we are still real people behind these
screens with real feelings. Some of us are looking for that
someone special.

JMO


Oh and Shadow good to see you.

Yes it does happen. I can see getting a litte close to somone, but not attached. It's not something I will ever feel being it's the net.

The thing is, a lot of people do it and when things don't work out. Their minds are set in a different perspective and usually it's an unhealthy perspective that sets a path for the next to meet, and they have no idea whats coming.

Ya, that would work, but then again. What if she said ok

I think women get attached quicker and more often than men, I don't like admitting that, because I don't like to say women are "sooo emotional," but from prior experience, I think it might be true. For many men, it's just something to do until something better comes along, or like I said before, just something to do to kill time.

I agree that everyone should be upfront, if you're just friends, say that. It's not fair to tell someone you're interested in dating them in the future, and you consider yourself to be dating them right then (as stupid as that sounds, considering you've never met) and then later, oh wait, I can't, I'm sorry, let's just be friends. That can be devastating, because it's a loss.

Or as MsTeddyBear said, the guy just up and leaves altogether. You're dealing with human beings, it doesn't matter if you meet or not, when you talk to someone over a period of time and share things about your life, it's normal to get emotionally attached. It might be illogical, because of distance or whatever, but rarely are feelings logical. I guess the key is to not talk too often in the beginning, or to make an effort to hold back and not share so much, so when it ends, as it usually does, it doesn't hurt quite as bad.

From now on, I'm going to be very cautious who I talk to and how involved I get, and how quickly, because it hurts like **** when the other person gets bored, or decides it's just the internet, or they don't have time or whatever. This might be a virtual world, but there are real people on the other end, and real people do get hurt.

absolutely i have and not necessarily in a romantic way only, but rather of friendship as well.

it's my biggest complaint about making online friends; they have the ability to disappear whenever they choose, sometimes without any means to get in contact with them.

i very pointedly refrain from getting close to anyone at all online.

thats why I FIRMLY believe U have to meet the person and spend time with them before U know if its real!!!

Good to see you to MsTeddyBear

Your right about being up front and I always have been, especially with somone I know I will never meet.


For me it is hard to understand how some get so close to others and never meet. I can see being close as friends. I'm sorry about what happen to you, but that is why I don't allow myself to get attached to someone on the net.

No I did meet someone and we did spend time as you did on the net. We did meet and I ended up having a beautiful little boy with her. that was the only time I allowed myself to get attached. Thats because we were able to meet and spend some time with each other.


The thing about your situation. There are people don't think about the other and look at this as just being the net and nothing more. That it's self leads back to when I said, things like this will set a path for some in a unhealthy matter. And the next person has no idea whats coming.

This happens more often then some will admit. People do get bored, and looking from my perspective. It's harder to keep a women happy then it is a man. So when it does happen for me. Like you said, I have to be more cautious and I have been. Well, I haven't chatted with anyone in a little while so that helps

Not anymore. I learned from it, now I don't do it.

Shadow, you are a tomcat sitting on a high fence.
Looking at the world outside your yard.
You see other cats over there, and you want to play.
But you have told yourself that your yard is the
safest place to stay.
That is nice.
Those other pus*sies are eyeing you also.
Thinking, mmm there sits the catnip.
They may sit outside every day and wish you would
jump down and rub past them.
Or sniff their as*ses.
Anything that shows you care.

But you wear that sign around your furry neck.
It says "I will decide if and or when I will hop
off this fence."

Maybe some will still be there should you finally
want a little permanent pus*sy.
Or they may all have followed the tomcats that showed
their vulnerable sides.
Who realized that emotional attachment is what makes
a cat purr.

Now. They all MIGHT want to roll on you the first time
you stare at them atop the fence.
I recommend you piss into the wind blowing their direction
at the first opportunity.
This should establish your..disconnectedness.
And they will all stay at a distance.

They won't understand though.
The fence has that huge Mingle advertisement on it.
Where you sit.
Day after day.
Waiting for...a feline that won't chase you.

im confused.. didnt u live in california, and move to idaho for someone u met on the internet? thought it was your sons mother?

Yes this did happen, but I moved to UT and i'm still here taking care of my son. We actually met and spent time together. I'm talking about people that you will never meet expecting you to get attached to them. I don't lead women on, and I can't control how someone might feel. But, I can control how I treat them and it is with respect.


This might give Sky a little insite on being a Tomcat.

Sky

ohhh but some think they can meet right? lets say florida and washington.. long ways away .. some could make it possible yet others cant... maybe it is confusion and different thoughts? if you cant get to them... then find out if they can get to you.. if not clearly state no to them... that u only want to be friends..or just they arent your type or whatever it is.. just say no...