Dear Gator,this is simply mind numbing yet highly amusing that this post can so quickly turn into a wrestling match of compound verbs,subjects & grammatical etiquette.In all fairness I shall retract # 4 due to the fact that I am notorious for using cyber shorthand.I can appreciate your observation for U are a writer.My pet peeve is spelling btw.I have grown weary of typing 2-3 paragraph explanations over the course of my 3 years at this site.It is obvious that our overall perception of her msg. differs substantially.Please be aware that I am not grandstanding or pedestal poising.I leave that for the self-righteous individuals.I am simply offering her constructive criticism so that she may become aware of how negative this post presents itself.Her comment "skinny bimbo's" will be perceived by the vast majority as a stereotypical comment.Her contradiction lies within her separate sentences.Sentence #1="most guys".Sentence #2="all guys"hence the contradiction.I do wish her the best of course in her endeavors.I thank you kindly for your compliments my friend & perhaps one day we shall lay our differences to waste with a fine game of chess.lol. Godspeed!Cy

You're ever the gentleman...I must admit I don't know how other will perceive her...but she sounded a little fragile. Her comments just called - to me - for sensitivity. Not as critical of you as it might have sounded in black and white. As far as the chess...ever since that Spassky guy and then Fischer beat me, too...Well. haven't been the same! Have a great day!

Preference that's all it is.

Men just like what they like!

every guy has different taste

Just my 2 cents...the grass isn't greener on the other side either. I have had jokes made about me and things said about me just because I'm skinny

why does anyone need to put others down because they look different? People have preferences in everything. I happen to be skinny. I have always been. I take after my dad's side of the family. My sister takes after my mother's side and is heavy set. we are individuals.

I certainly wouldn't say negative things about others just because they aren't a certain size, race, whatever.

I am me and only me

Having been on both ends of the spectrum; skinny and overweight for whatever people want to call normal it can be frusterateing to feel like you are not having a fair shot at finding someone to love and be loved by.

As unfair as it seems even being accepting of others differences doesn't mean they are going to treat you well. Or that they see their differences as any reason to accept (settle) for less than what they want.

Do all men want "skinny bimbos"? I doubt that. If that were the case that would be reflected in only skinny brides and skinny women having children and that is certainly not the case. Or that skinny women would not be passed over which happens probably as much as over weight women being passed over.

But I don't think you are really talking about skinny women but women who are height and weight porportional and calling people considered "Normal" names, especially bimbo's sounds pretty bad.

I don't think men wanting someone considered "normal" is all that abnormal. People are judged by their choices. Wheather it is a woman who has a handsome, well proportioned, gainfully employed, forward thinking man is considered to have made good choices to a man who does.

Are the definitions stricter for women in some areas than they are for men? No doubt. But some also more leanient. Most men do not look for equal earning power in their choices. Many still want a full time home-maker (which granted is a tough job if done well) but it is also a privilege to be your own boss.

The good news is there are men who like women who are all shapes and sizes. You have to own what you are. Whineing about what you are not is just wasteing your energy and makes you a pain to be around to everyone.

I would suggest being nice to people who are nice to you and forget about the others. If a guy wants something you are not move on. Develope goals and interests you can share.

First thing you say in your profile is you have a daughter and she comes first. Well duh what and insult to a good guy that would know that. Why can't you say you are a Parent of a great kid that makes you a happy blessed person. And the truth that while you will be responsible for your child you can make time in your life for a date and later a healthy fun relationship.

i got me a girl with curves....yummmy.i'll lick every inch of them..nothin wrong with that at all..be happy with who u are

each guy have their own preference is all like the above post a while back.

IMO if i find something even if the littlest thing as her color eyes or hair that smells good even skin tone that i find sexy in some wierd way lol then i wont hella mind strikin up a conversation, this ofcourse goes to woman as well. i TRY not to let the whole oh shes big boned or dam shes a skinny pencil in my thoughts, since i may have just missed the opportunity to meet a great new friend and or ofcourse 'soul mate'

however again most guys have their own tastes, preferences. and some ofcourse are just the a$$holes of this world

hi guy, yes im new, i joined last night, and yes i probably shouldn't have posted what i did, especially the 'bimbo' i guess i wasn't calling all skinny girls bimbos, but i went out the other night with a group of friends, and i'm a people watcher, and standing at the bar waiting 15min to be served gave me plenty of time, and i was really surprised to find that unless a girl had a short skirt, boobs hanging out and killer heels, they wouldnt react, but as soon as that image walked passed something clicked in thier head, you could see it in their eyes, and their body laungage.

and im not wishing i was like those girls, i am happy with who i am, and what i look like, and i wont change for anybody, but it makes you think, is there any guys out there, that doesnt react like this, and would like to get to know a person before they judge them, and to look outside the 'norm', is it really a case of some guys like and only like skinny girls, and some guys like and only like bigger girls, i would think it would be whats inside that attracts the most.

and as for my profile, any tips would be great, i only did i quick one last night, and i guess never really thought about reading it from a guys point of view, but at the same time i like to put the fact my daughter is there and will always come first, and i guess yeah im not working, but being a single mum doesnt leave much time for work, and no im not looking for someone to provide for me and my daughter, i can and have been doing that for almost 2years. what was i spose to say, i couldnt lie and say yep ive got a job, is that really a deal cruncher??

well i hope i covered everything, oh wait my wording and my sentance structure, i guess yes im sorry, it was a quick email, first post, didnt think i would get a reaction, was a bit surprised of the amount of comments. so i do apologise, and will try better in the future, if i dare post again.

ok now i think i have defended my self a little, and if you've got something to add, or tips on my profile, send me a reply i guess..

thankyou

no harm no foul IMO.

everyone goes through those things and we all get discouraged for one reason or another. It's part of life I think.

welcome to the forums

You are sounding much more reasonable now. Reasonable is attractive to almost anyone. Welcome to Mingle forums.

Bee
I understand how you feel! You would look at my picture and profile and think how could I relate but not that long ago, I was in your shoes. I chose to get rid of the weight because I was getting older and didn't want health issues. I also have a son, a senior in high school who is my number one priority.
My advice is the same as many on here. You have to like yourself first. If you are happy with yourself, it shows through. No one can resist a person with a positive attitude and a big smile. It may not lead to romance but instead a great friendship.
As has been stated, men like what they like. You will find the right man for you but only when you stop being negative about your weight.
Another suggestion is find some place other than the bar to meet men. Get involved with your daughter's activities or join a Parents without Partners Group. Bars usually don't work long term.
Welcome to Mingle and Good luck. I have been here a short time but have made many good friends just by sharing.

Attraction is a visual thing, at least at first. Long before compatibility, goals, etc. are added, we only have looks to go on. And biology plays a huge part in attraction. There must be some sort of chemistry initially to bring two people together. Now we as intelligent people are supposed to be able to put aside looks as a primary criteria. However, chemistry is a powerful force to reckon with!!

Did you ever wonder what type of body language you may have been putting off when you were watching these other guys look at the skinnier girls? you were obviously judging them, possibly maybe even rolling your eyes? or scoffing? did you own negativity show through? I mean if I see a girl at a bar enjoying herself laughing it up and just having a good time she is going to be a lot more attractive than the girl looking at the other girls around her and judging them...this is on both sides of the spectrum. I have seen those 'snobby' cheerleader types at the bar judging other girls like their **** don't stink and that is just as unattractive. And I have to admit I have been an a$$hole to some of them...like purposely hitting on the girl they are making fun of and completely ignoring them(which drives most nuts) and then if they approach me or say something like 'why you talking to her' I look at them and say 'because I have standards....you don't quite match up'

To be honest, if you only are carrying 30 lbs of extra weight I wouldnt have a problem. But many women are carrying 50-70 extra pounds, thats not sexy to me.

I have to be attracted to a woman, she doesnt have to be a beauty queen at all, but for the love of goodness back away from the table and hit the gym.

Everyone says dont change, be yourself, well if yourself was working you wouldnt be here, so i would get busy on making some changes to attract the opposite sex.

I know i am working on it, lost 42 lbs, got a tat, and go tanning twice a week and hit the gym every chance i get. You want oppurtunity, go get it, it wont be knocking on your door while you eat another bowl of ice cream.

JMO

Might sound mean, but everyone reading this knows I am right.

I can't tell ... is that a yes or a no then johnboy?

Here's a question that always pops into my mind when I see topics like this... What type of guys do you go for?

Welcome to the forums!