I am a heavy set blk woman living in detroit i recently gave myself to the lord and i dont drink or smoke any more i want to find a future husband but every i mean every guy i meet whether he's a dope dealer or a school attender wants to have sex im just not interested in sex but i still want affection i want to be held and i want to kiss i want someone to go out with but everything leads up to sex and if i dont want it they still press the issue and i get offended and never call them again i love having sex but i love the lord more.

Its not only because of my faith its a respect factor also i am tired of giving a part of myself to someone who is not going to appreciate it for more than a few months so why have sex at all so i could possibly be one of the many with STDs or worse

It says "Go forth and multiply" in the bible.

You gave yourself to the lord? Maybe he just wants sex too?!

I, for one, commend you for having decent morals, and sticking to them. When you find someone that will appreciate you for you, not what he can get, he will be willing to wait until the time is right, and you are ready. Good luck and don't give up hope.

Yes its possible. I just make myself clear, and let men know how I am, and what my dealbreakers are, as in my profile.

I always stress I must get to know a man first.



right before I sleep with them on the first date..


just kidding..


but seriously.. I always let them know, and stay firm to it.

I think that'd be pretty awesome actually, not for religious reasons, though, since I'm not a religious person.

no i don't think it is cause if you meet someone the last thing most want hear is i don't have sex....just typin

2 b honest i really don't see why sex is such a big deal cause if it was then we wouldn't be on here...just typin

Ha, and thats the good thing, because then when they dont respond positively, you know UP FRONT its time to get rid of this guy.

The day you meet the right man that understand your feelings he will be very happy to hold you in his arms and cuddle with you until you are ready to offer yourself to him.

Sex is a two way street and to many think only about one side.

you recognize

damn right.

Sex is a natural expression of attraction. As long as all are cool with it, what is the big deal?

Why don't you try dating men from your church? They might feel the same way.

i love having sex i just want to feel just as good as i felt doing it when its over its just to risky now days to let the sex cloud my jugdement

She's not interested in premarital sex, all the men she tries to date are. Hence the problem.

dating someone from church is just not going to happen my grandmother, my whole family and the whole congregation will know and i just rather not go there

I'm sure the Christians of the site will really admire that.

Um...okay. Perhaps another church then? The reason I mentioned that is many people consider sex to be a "normal" part of dating, so if you get someone who is also saving themselves for marriage, you should have better results. Those people usually attend church, not necessarily yours, but another in the community that your family wouldn't be a part of.

And having those people know, could help the both of you keep it on the straight and narrow. After all, its just dating right?