Can most people pinpoint the time a relationship started to sour or do you think it is a gradual thing over time In my case i believe i know the exact time it all went wrong for my marriage. Two weeks after we married my wife came right out and said that i didn't matter anymore, the only person that mattered was her daughter, who i love too, and i didn't matter and we didn't matter as a couple. As long as her daughter was OK then we would be fine were her exact words. I didn't agree with her but like a fool i stayed with her for nearly 4 years believing that it might actually work out and that marriage was supposed to be for lifeSo do other people have similar experiences where one comment or one action basicallt sealed the fate of the relationship?

Yes.

I don't know if I can pinpoint a single time. But there are events that I look back at that pointed to the demise. And I have my share of the responsibility for those... either in their happening, or in not properly addressing.

Usually the end starts right around the beginning when two people who should have never gotten together get together.

I know right to the second when that "one action" sealed the fate of my marriage...

On our wedding night, after all the festivities were over and done with my new groom (soon to be ex) took me to the Honeymoon suit and sat me on a chair before the fireplace...There he handed me a piece of paper that he had written on...When I looked at the paper I just couldn't believe what I was seeing and took it as a joke...My new groom had presented me with a list of how things were to be from now on, seeing that we were married....I asked him why the change and why he hadn't told me before this that this was how he really felt and wanted things to be...His answer was simple..."Because I knew that you wouldn't marry me"...

Annulment. He gave you the grounds.

well in my marriage it started with just little things that started adding up to bigger things causing more problems ...it wasn't a certain time but just when i had enough that caused it to be over ...

bingo.

i take partial responsibility for the ending of it as well.

except i can pinpoint many separate issues, and one big defining one.

That was a cruel thing to do to you earth sprite, i hope you gave him a slap instead of the customary wedding night he was expecting

It was the very first lie he told. Each one after that I felt myself close down a little more. I would have stayed married forever because I believe in for better or worse but I never could open myself back up.

The funny part is that when he left I felt destroyed. Didn't close down enough apparently.

Thank you Taeman....After I had stopped laughing and realized that he was serious he left.....I think that I laughed just a bit too much for him that night...I just couldn't see how he was serious about that....( I still am laughing as I write this..)

But he came back a few days later, we tried to make it work for awhile but we both knew that it was doomed right from the start.....

And that is why it is so important for people to talk about wants and expectations...Before hand....

The day he hit me was the end !

I know what you mean mechrissy2, my wife after 4 years of apparently not caring about our marriage finally suggested seeing a marriage councellor to try and get me to stay with her but in the meeting the councellor said it seemed as though i had already withdrawn my emotions and i would have to try and give again if the marriage was to work but i couldn't do it. There were other things she had said and done throughout that had made me stop loving her but as you say it is still hard when it is over.

If you look at 90% of relations these days (not a lot last a lifetime) the end starts when the relation begins only how long it last is different between each relation.

My husband was unfaithful while I was expecting our child. I found out two weeks before she was born. He wouldn't talk about it and denied it for years, told me I was crazy. I actually thought I was for a while. I don't think I ever recovered and the trust was gone, but just to be sure I stuck it out another 18 years....
Sad thing is, I don't think he thought I would ever have the courage to leave and now I can see the regret that he just never seemed to have while we were married.

Totally agree Motown

with my ex it was when she said "wipe that stupid grin off your face and get out"

There is a saying that goes : all marriages will end either by divorce or death.

I've found that things are gonna nosedive the second someone goes from friendly and affectionate to cold and distant in the matter of a day or so. That usually means that something's up and the affected party won't cop to things.

Yes. I call it the "uh oh" moment.