I hope it brings a better day. like you said one day at a time

heya cutts, believe me i know what you mean about not being able to get someone out of your mind but don't let it get you out of yours. You are a valid person and your life is never worth giving up for someone who doesn't care. Your live never worth EVER giving up.

The way I try to do it is to stay busy. Not like watch tv or listen to the radio busy, but action busy. Garden, walk, ride, go to school, drive around with a destination in mind. Even if you don't stay there. Just get moving. Draw, color, play with a pic program on your computer, learn a new language online, or at school.

I know for a fact that if I were not going to school right now I would be out of my mind. I was on the edge when I made the decision to go. I just couldn't stay home all the time and do nothing but think.

I hope you can find some way of expressing your feelings. No one really has the answers, but we can have suggestions and sometimes it is good to just vent. Who are we going to tell? We are androgynous......

Spill if you need to. I know that when I started this thread I was terrified to post much. If you read through some of the first postings, I was vague and guarded.

Hope you can feel better soon, and you know how to email us if you want to chat. There is an IM feature on this site that actually works.

I dont want to give up,but I feel like the last 5 years was a waste of my life. I loved her so much that I gave her so many chances to be the the person I wanted her to be. In the end she was the cause of all my problems. I lost good jobs and good friends. Most of all I lost my chance to have a son. See I traveled for my job and she was pregnant, she left me and then found out that she was pregnant. She told me if I didnt get back with her she was going to have an abortion. So I went back only to find out she had one before we talked. It destroyed me. I should have left her then but I couldnt walk away. About 6 weeks a go we had a fight. I left the house on a walk to think. She called the police and said I O.D on pills. The police arrested me and brought me to the phsych ward. After I got out I said enough is enough and moved 1000 miles to where i am now. I loved her and she betrayed me. I realize that I dont need that in my life. I just dont get how she can be so cold. I did everything I could to help her and that is the thanks I get!!!!

Sure sounds like she is psycotic. People like her live to be in control. If they don't get thier way, they make someone pay in one way or another. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

My 1st ex was like that. He tried to blackmail me using my kids when they were 3 & 4. Said if I didn't sleep with him, her would prove me an unfit mother. I didn't and he told all kinds of lies.

Took 3 years to get it all figured out. I wasted 8 years with him and 11 with my 2nd hubbie. I know how ya feel. It sucks! But at least you made the right move, so stick to your guns. Sometimes no mtter how bad someone treats us, we still want to love them. That doesn't mean we can or should be with them if they are destructive people. You are on the right track. Believe me when I say, it will get easier.

Your doing great and I can tell you are a strong person by doing what you have to.

I am tring my best. I am just struggling with it a little and I wish it was diffrent but its not. I am well I guess just alone well that is how I felt,but now I know I am not. I have made changes for the better and she cant destroy me anymore. I felt I needed her, but I realize I dont . I just miss the good times we had, and that is why I feel like this.

cutts your ex was no friend or lover to you.i know you have feelings for her but deep down you know leaving her was the best thing you could have done.once you find a healthy relationship based on mutual love and respect then you will forget the nutcase.Right now you are just lonely and feeling nostalgic about your relationship.We tend to forget why we left someone when we are like this.Keep your head up and keep posting.The first step is always the hardest..

Once again I feel like my world is closing in on me. I dont know how I am going to get thru this pile of crap. I seem to never get out of this hole I am in. I had a family member pass on last night and I am in the pits. I had a friend that I met here. Well now she wont even talk to me and I feel like I am going to explode. I am very lost in a town where I know no one. I am confused about why I am on this planet, what is my purpose in this world? I dont even feel normal any more. What the hell is going on in my mind? cause I dont know!!!!!!

anyone talked to evad since he posted

anyone talked to evad since he posted

I'm reading a book called "Control Theory," it suggested that us human beings freely choose to depress.
i understand that sometimes depression is due to an unbalance on our brains, which it's Ok (I guess) because people can control it.
But when depressing (notice I'm using an active verb, not a noun) is something that happens because there is a circumstance in our lives and we depress, it is because we choose to depress, as far as the book suggests.
For now I'm posting this, I want to see what you guys think, and if u want me to post more things I'm learning from that book.
BTW I usually don't depress, I'm always too busy with a lot of things. Nevertheless, I understand that depressing is something that affects too many beautiful people, I'm just trying to shara a little bit of what I know. It may help.
And guys remember each one of you are very important people.

TLW

I meant chemical unbalance on our brain
sorry

Looks like I found the perfect place for me!!! And...I wish my depression just came a simple chemical imbalance.......

I was diagnosed with depression along with hypothyroidism and was put on meds for it but threw them out after 2 weeks of taking anti-depressents..I know when it comes on and I battle it myself..mind over matter with me..it worked for me..some days are worse than others, just have to know when to push yourself a little harder..stay occupied with things so your mind doesn't control your body

Boozer....Chemical imbalance is no simple thing, Hon. But I agree that if you want to have a place to vent about anykind of MI......you're in the right place.

Blond.......I'm glad that you are able to control your emotions and get along well. I know there are a lot of people who would like to ba able to do that. The meds can be a real pain for about 8 to 10 weeks until your body gets used to them.

I've been on a dozen different cocktails over the years. I understand what a drag it is to have to start all over again with another med, and have to go through all the crappy effects again. A lot of people just do like you and try to deal with it themselves.

So chemical or not, it is a hard thing to have to deal with. Some people are just depressed for a time, others will have it for the rest of thier lives.

HOW we deal with it, others and ourselves is the key to getting along in this world. Not an easy task for anyone let alone people with MI......


Love ya's!


Karen

Actually, my depression comes from coming home from work one morning and finding my wife with a bullet in her head...suicide.

That is terrible thing to have to go through and my condolances.........like I said, some are chemical, and some are not. Some can pass and some can not. I am sorry that you had to go through that.

As I've said in previous posts......everyones problems are their's ans no one can compare thier problems to anyone elses. Something that may sound silly to one, my mean the world to another. Be it chemical imbalance or trauma like yours.

Our feelings are our own and we can share them freely if we choose. It may or may not help. But I hope that many it will help even a tad.......

Again, I am terribly sorry that you had to go through something that terrible.

In his book Control Theory, William Glasser M.D. states:
FOUR REASONS WHY IT MAKES SENSE TO CHOOSE MISERY (TO DEPRESS):
1. To keep angering under control
2. To get others to help us
3. To excuse our willingness to do something more effective
4. To gain powerful control

THREE REASONS WHY WE ARE UNAWARE THAT WE CHOOSE MUCH OF OUR MISERY (TO DEPRESS):
1. Some short-lived but intense feelings are not chosen - they happen to us. (however, when they become chronic we lack the consciousness to recognize that we choose them)
2. Most of these painful choices have become automatic.
3. We do not want to lose self-esteem.

I hope this helps.

Lonely, I know you are just trying to help, but I've been through cognitive therapy and in my opinion, It sucks raw eggs!

I am the way I am and no one is going to tell me that I think myself cured. It may help a little bit with some things, but please.....

I am being required to read a book called, "Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy"..Author David D. Burns.....

If anyone wants to check it out fine with me but I am only reading it to get through the class. I got so mad when I started reading it I wanted to scream!

So if your suggestions can help, fine, but my opinion is...can you say crap?

u see i'm the biggest ignorant about depression.
I guess i've felt something similar to it, but I'm always in the run, that it just fades away in matter of minutes.
It just hurts me to see too many people in pain.
And what I'm reading makes sense to me. My only intention is to help, not trying to offend anybody.

Oh, you didn't offend me, I can be a bit abrasive sometimes. I know you were just trying to help. I was just giving my opinion. Thta's all. I even gave up a book about it so others who might find you idea interesting. No harm done.