I just love men, especially the ones I don't have to train...

I'm rather fond of them myself..just something about them, well, actually many things about them. I miss men in my life..my boys are grown up and men now..just not the same.

I think I have it figured out. I have noticed such a change in men of all ages since I was dating a hundred years ago. Somewhere along the line women in general, NOT ALL, but some became loose and trampy. They started giving it away and exposing things that used to be a mysterious treat. If the sign in the candy store says, "FREE CANDY" then candy becomes no big deal. Men, for the most part, have this aloof attitude because if the woman chooses to be lady-like(remember that term?) the man knows he can go a block and a half down the road and get whatever he wants, not thinking about any kind of future for himself.
Do we blame womens' liberation, the nothing is obscene law, pornography?

It's the beer.

Now Katz, don't just blame the men.

For me, there seemed to be such a change, around the end of the 60's & early 70's. Many things I had been taught, ALL my life, changed over nite. women didn't act/dress/talk like ladies, always had. Some of it was good, but some was bad. Sex became so much more open, those hidden treasures were no longer hidden, but thrust in our faces & used as a tease. Now I DO NOT mean that this took away, any one's responsibility to be a lady or a GENTLEMAN. Just don't want you putting all this on the men.

I think, for you & I, we want life to be more as we were raised.
Just the thoughts of an old sage.

soooooo. as you see it, we men are really only enterested in the "free candy", and you have no "free candy" to give, then it must hold true than men will never be enterested in you. i'm not trying to insult. i have a serious point to make. i'm not going to mention names but i've read the works of some well know psychiatrists and anthropologist who agree with you regarding men being enterested in sex primarily. but they go on to say that men are so simple that if a woman would provide a man two things, he will lay everything she wants and needs at her feet. those two things are COMPLIMENTS AND GREAT SEX.

you see, since caveman days, women have instinctively looked for these traits in a man when chosing her mate. can he provide for and protect her and her children. and can he perform sexually to produce those offspring and continue to perform because of a very high infant mortality rate. these are the only real roles for men back then and we still carry these instincts. so complimenting us on our ability to provide and protect, our big muscles, agressiveness, etc., and allowing us to show our sexual prowess is the best and only payment that we need for being on the planet. we men are really that simple.

you can spin this concept off in many directions such as why nice guys can't get laid, etc., and that aggressiveness and sexual prowess is not as necessary as men age because the infant mortality rate has dropped significantly but one thing is true, these inherited traits are still with us. this discussion could last weeks but here it is in my view ladies, give us great sex and compliments and see if you don't get everything you ever wanted from a man. not every man, some are jerks. but every simple man. and remember, a good man is hard to find, but easy to keep.

I was real careful in my post about blame. Actually, I have put the blame mostly on women in that while trying to be equals to men women have thrown feminity out the window. When is the last time you saw a woman embarrassed that her slip was showing or her bra strap was revealed? Now it's quite vogue to purposely have your bra straps showing! How about language? It isn't real feminine to hear a woman use the "f" word as an adverb constantly and loudly. How many women worry about their reputation if they allow themselves some sex play the night before? All of these behaviors fall under the Free Candy I referred to.
jrbogie mentioned traits that women searched for in a man to be a good mate but those prerequisites no longer hold water because she doesn't need a man to take care of her when the state will and she can have a perfectly formed and beautiful baby with coloring and intelligence of her choosing via a petrie dish. There's no place to lay blame other than society and the times, they are a'changin'!

TRUST is an issue that has no lines, no sexs, no margins
of compromising,,,,,,trust is what many of US have had stolen from us,,,,,,so WE value that word and its meanings parallel with, I LOVE YOU. Trust is given, but ALWAYS needs to be reinforced through actions...
At least, thats my heart and thoughts..

I have found that people find one another and fall in love, maybe December-May romances, maybe not. When I was much younger I had men that were old enough to be my father, I loved them. As I got older, substance more than anything was what counted. By substance, I mean, how to act, what to say, how to make me smile, that's what mattered, some have been younger and some have been older. Now, I am in my Senior years and men I might be attracted to may be young or old, who cares as long as they are nice. I imagine that it is the same for men, why wouldn't it be, they are Human. I think what none of us want is Bitter, that turns off anyone, young or old

Your wrong....

Alot ofmen in their 50's want women in their 50's....
I don't like younger women.. never did...LOL

I don't know what I said that was wrong................

indeed the times they are a changing but anthropologists don't see that human instincts have changed much at all. the traits i mentioned do hold water simply because women have not given up those instincts just because society has changed. most women feel as you do and rightly so that women are equally capable of taking care of themselves. but in the fight for equality, what women have really done is to shoot themselves in the foot. throughout human history you've had power over men that you haven't even realized. we are so outmatched it's laughable. this power is not easy to understand and i don't have the time now but i leave you with this as an analogy to contemplate.

think of an army of men lined up on a battlefield facing an army of women. the men are on horses and carrying spears and swords. the women are armed with armor, artillery, gunship helicopters and other modern weapons. now i ask you this. why would women want a fair playing field? this is exactly what you are doing and have done throughout history. perhaps you don't realize how overpowering your forces are. perhaps because men have ruled for so long and told you how weak you are you've begun to believe it. but the fact is, you have the power to cause men to lay your every need and desire at you feet. if only you knew your "enemy".

JMO...Your analogy is very insightful about the strength of women and how we have certain power over men. I'm smiling here, by the way.
Let me tell you where the men use our instincts against us. We, nearly all, have the instinct to nuture whoever we are with. Be it our children, or our men, or our friends.Some men have always used that against us. We are vunderable here. We have that burning desire to take care of things, and they know it...so that's the one place a man will strike at us, wear us down....so we get tired of the fighting and say.."I don't need you to take care of me, because you won't let me nuture you!" It's a two way street...the way it was meant to be....all those eons ago...Man, the protector and bread winner, woman, the child bearer and strength of the home. Somewhere, that gets all screwed up...we have forgotten our roles in life and each want to take on the role of the other, use the role of the other in hurtful ways......again jmo.

In the meantime, I'm still sitting here with my Schnauzer.

yep, you got it. nurturing is just one of the ways that women relelinquish their power. you let a strenth work against you. men are really quite simple. we realy only want two things from you pretty creatures. before i tell you what those two thing are i offer this. as cavemen our only job envolved protecting and providing for the family and impregnating the pretty creatures who would accept us as mates. as we vied for your favors and competed against other males to be chosen, we would flaunt these abilities by flexing muscles, running faster than the next guy and showing off our virility when we could. we only knew that we were successful in our deeds when we won the pretty prize. at that point we did our jobs of protecting, providing and impregnating. this was our purpose in life.

today these traits are far less important as women don't need men for anything other than reproduction. but we men still have those caveman instincts and we still want to be thought of as capable of doing those jobs, many of which are no longer required. so here it is ladies and i hope you won't take this the wrong way because i'm dead serious. men need and desire two things and two things only from their mate. COMPLIMENTS AND GOOD SEX. yep, you heard me right. we are that simple. in reality we ask nothing more. compliment the size of our muscles, our manly speed, our quickness, even our wit because as you know well, we still flaunt those atributes to compete with other males. we need to hear that we've still got it. and good sex. we cannot stand to think that we are not as viril today as we were thirty years ago. the great sex says everything about how much you desire and enjoy us. compliments and sex. stroke our outrageous egos with compliments and at least make us think we are still the sexual animal. give us those and see if we don't kneel at your feet or fight it and give up your power over us. then the best you'll get is a level playing field where the war of the sexes continues to rage.

Ok...darn...I had it right. We all are still the same people we were wayyyyyyy back in time...at least in our genes. You men need to know that you are still viril and we need to think that you'd still fight to protect us.
I wish that it was that easy. I wish that we could turn back the pages of time to where life was simple.
Let me ask you this...wayyyyyyy back there did men have E.D. and did women have hot flashes? I'm not being cute here...just courious. Nowdays, there is so much stress and each person reacts differently to their own individual stressors. Some men, a great many I believe can't preform the sexual act because of medications for high blood pressure and what ever else is the matter. Some men, like my ex husband chose to believe I was at fault instead of himself. He was the one with medical difficulties and wouldn't own up to it. Their egos are so great that they refuse to even believe that the problem lies within themselves.
Women also can feel insecure and this causes problems with their sexual performance...especially as we grow older..we no longer are moist and might be ashamed to discuss the problem with anyone..Our vanities have caused so many problems.
So the men look for different women to make them feel viril once again and the women look for a man that can preform sexually. This is where the cougars come in...older women and younger men...because they can preform on demand.
I think we all are as simple as you have stated..we all are looking for the same things for the same reasons......again..JMO

you kinda sorta get it viv but you're still a little off the mark. when you throw in such things a ed and hot flashes you are still fighting against your own power. you are still missing the obvious which is that men are more simple than that. it doesn't matter that hot flashes and penis problems occure nor does it matter that women can perform any feat a man can to get by in modern society. as you said yourself, our ancient instincts are still with us and a man's instinct drives him to crave only those two simple things from women.

you and your female cohorts can argue that there is more envolved with men than just having their egos stroked and great sex. argue till the proverbial cows come home but that will not change how simple men really are. if you'll disregard all you know about women being equal to men and quit lowering yourselves to man's level and make use of compliments and great sex i think you'll find that most men will become the sensitive, loving, caring creatures that you all want. it really is that simple.

think about this. who is it that we men fall in love with? do we fall in love with our wives? the future mothers of our children? nooooooooo. we fall in love with our girlfriend. you know, that sexy, flirty, beauty that always complimented our manly prowess and when the time was right gave us great sex. then we married her and guess what happened, she became so engrosed in her new roles as wife, homemaker, mother etc., that my girlfriend left. that sexy pretty thing i fell in love with has flown the coup. this of course must be expected especially today when women quite often must also be an additional earner. a woman's role at this point is much more challenging than that of a man's. but we guys really do miss our girlfriends. we loved the ego stroking and great sex you tempted us with. if we've become jerks as husbands it's because we see no reward for doing our husbandly duties. just compliment our manhood and give us great sex and see if your boyfriend that you miss doesn't come home. he misses you.

Boy is that true, What ever happened to Courting? Why buy the cow when the milk is free.

Sad really,

It's Both Men and Women today.

Maybe it's a passing fad, Whoring Around??

passing fad? whoring around has been the norm since the dawn of man. sure you can say in this country our mothers and fathers whored around less than we do today. you can say courting was once popular in this country or that society. but instinctively humans have always whored around and that has not and will not change with regards to the population in general.

courting in saudi arabia??? give me a break. marriages are decided upon by the parents in many muslim countries and always has been. once again we americans think that we reside in the center of the universe when we number but five percent of the people on the planet. get out and use those air miles folks. there's a world out there to explore.

Perhaps the internet has contributed to the change too. There was a time when you had to speak to one to get to know them. The drive to visit, the phone calls. Now seems all those steps are just passed over, with email, instant messenger, skype. By the time 2 meet they have, hopefully anyway, gotten to know each other. Nothing will make up for personal interaction, face to face meetings I think. At the same time over a period of time it is possible to become friends or even learn to love one long distance. I still prefer the personal interaction myself...the internet is a place to start.