The creeping realization that intelligence was isolating.

That's because they deem us such intimidating, cynical, conceited, narcissistic jerks on high, no?

The only superiority complex that I've ever had, was just a false shadow that someone else cast upon me.

Plus, brains EVENTUALLY do cut down on the riff-raff one lets in. Not really much conversation to be found in an inner sanctum.

How's dear Lex today???

This is so very true. But I find it more sad than true, in the long run.



Nothing much of substance (or sanity, necessarily) to be found from that direction....



Sore, very sore. But not doing too badly considering what I went through two days ago!

I can honestly say , had a wonderful childhood, same as most I guess, alittle LESS priviledged then some ,( single mother raising 5 kids UNDER 6 years) but truly lacked for nothing :) lucky I guess

I was picked on for being a geek in school, but being a geek made it easier for me to get through college and get myself financially stable faster than those people who teased me.

Not to mention the fact that guys apparently like geeky girls.


I was also taught not to show emotion, but I'm not quite sure if that was a good thing or not. While I'm able to pick up on the emotional state of others, I don't know how to deal with my own.

VERY! Blessed, good for you - and to hear! I always had best friends like you. Hanging out at your homes was ever so surreal.

funny you say that .. there ALWAYS seemed to be 3 or 4 EXTRA people around the house constantly... usually at dinner time too.. lol

I guess since y'all are willing to bear all, I can do the same.

My sister and I were both physically, emotionally, and sexually abused by our stepfather. Very violent childhood. Mother always working or on business trips. We were left in the care of our step Dad.

Back then, we didn't talk of such things and it didn't come out until we started dating.

My birth father was an alcoholic. We were raised strict Catholic, so it was our faith that helped us through it. I don't follow the Catholic faith for various reasons mostly attributable to my childhood experiences.

I have somehow mentally blocked out a lot of the abuse, but not all of it (especially the later years). But my sister remembers so much more than I do.

I think my childhood is why I don't like fighting or confrontation. Probably why I work so hard at pleasing my man. I know it is why I will not remain in an abusive relationship. I had no control over it as a child, but I vowed to myself that I would not live under abusive conditions once I did have control over my own life.

In middle school, I could not have male teachers because my fear of men at the time was interfering with my focus in class. When I started dating, I forced myself to come to grips with that issue... and I'm proud to say that I am no longer afraid of men or men's hands.

Don't worry, I've been checked out by counselors, psychiatrists, etc. during marriage counseling... they say that they are surprised I'm sane, but that I am... and I am amazingly well-adjusted. My sister does have more issues with it than I do.

But to this day, I can't stand the smell of Old Spice cologne or the smell of Cashews on someone's breath. And the sound of a belt slapping quickly through the loops when being removed sends me (in my mind) to a corner to cringe and cower.

Thanks for "listening"

Yes, you do still sound quite down, though. Did you manage to get your gear from the car?

Read your "One glorious profile" posts from yesterday, and you were white hot w/ the acerbic humour gouges! I laughed out loud!

At least adversity further sharpened the wit! Whudda thunk it?

SS, think there are probably many of us here in numbers, both genders.

Most of your story is common to mine also. I was wondering who would be the pioneer that braved these furious waters.

You are a strong, beautiful, kind and courageous soul. I pray a lasting peace for you. Thanx for being brave enough to share that, and trust us.

My brady bunch, count chokula, red headed, bowl haircut, plaid and polyester childhood was awesome! Especially when my parents felt I was gifted and enrolled me in school when I was 4 years old and all my classmates were 6 and twice my size. You could not have painted a larger target on my forehead. That is why I'm such a freaking rockstar today. I took my lumps and got tough. Even better- I got smart.

You will NEVER know what those dinners did for them/us.

When I was 15, I lived in cars and put myself through high school. Those dinners and showers and contact - were my saving grace! I even had my own closet at one family's house, and the key to others. These were NOT small things.

PLEASE! Thank your parents for me, TwoTall, will ya? Thanx to you too...

Always being at least 6 inches taller than other kids. When I started 8th grade,at 12 yrs old, I was 5'10", and weighed 180 lbs. That's how big my Dad was.

Not really fitting in comfortably. I have limited athletic skills(just softball), didn't do enough partying(but never went to jail for it, haha), was smarter than most(but didn't "Apply myself").

When I was in the 6th grade(I think), we tried the shot-put for the first time. Being about 5'6" or so at the time, I was bigger than most of the female teachers, and some of the males. I remember being mad at someone right before it was my turn to throw the shot. I used that anger to propel the shot about 15 feet past the "jocks". My Gym teacher asked me if I wanted to go to an Invitational the next day, and compete against high school kids. Well, to keep this short, I came in 2nd place, out of about 20 High Schoolers, and me.

hahahagh to this day my older brothers and sisters friends I meet say the same thing ....I will tell my mom FOR CERTAIN , thanks

PLEASE! Thank your parents for me, TwoTall, will ya? Thanx to you too...



It would mean the world to me, and they deserve to hear it! I actually cried to type that to you...

It would mean the world to me, and they deserve to hear it! I actually cried to type that to you...

Our mother made most of our clothes, so we stood out like a cooked lobster at a salad bar. We were picked on, but I ignored it. School was a piece of cake compared to the crap at home.

I always befriended the outcasts and reached out to them. I was more or less in the middle... some popular friends, some geeks - nerds, whatever they were called back then. I think I still do that today... reach out to the downtrodden and help if I can in some way. I don't however, choose that characteristic in a mate. But I usually befriend the people with few friends and I almost always root for the underdog.

My main point is that as I was growing into adulthood, I found that my having a sense of humor was my saving grace. Being able to make people around me laugh seemed to distract them from the negative tendencies and we were all much better off because of it. So I tend to consider humor a good friend and a great distraction in some situations.

I remember walking home from school and feeling the knots and grinding fear in my gut worsen with every step toward home. I would look around and see the happy kids around me excited to be going home... and I could not understand why I wasn't happy to be going home.

Also, school was my sanctuary. It validated me and the grades I earned were the only positive confirmation I had that I'd done something right or well.


My heart goes out to anyone who has suffered and did not have the Norman Rockwell depicted childhood. And congrats to those who've persevered.

YES, YES, GOD, YES!!!

TBI at 21, coma 3 months, had to relearn everything again, memory sucks, walk with a cane, blurt things out without thinking sometimes. I have a ball with my life.......lol not.