I LOVE ME A NERD... BUT IT HAS TO BE A GEEK WHO DRINKS... because i like smart conversation. im not to shollow on looks but i cant have an eye sore i like having sex during the day too

natural selection...anything other is a meekly character

Lex, think about it....it was YOU who started this thread. Naturally, the thread and the topic are going to take off running.

Now....just imagine if it was ME who started this same topic. I'll give you three guesses as to how far you'd think it would go, and the first two don't count.

To be honest with you i think choosing those who aren't that attractive show we're more apart from animals than closer to them. Not only that not all people define attractiveness the same, what you could find distasteful others might find attractive. Seriously a relationship with a hottie that's a ***** doesn't last long or dumb as rocks, they wont last long. obviously i have preferences too but not all are based on looks not all of us are shallow to some length. others obviously go farther than others

Um...in the crapper, Music? *ducks for cover*

DING! DING! DING! Come on out, T. You're entirely correct.

the only real physical preference i have is hair colour. i've only ever been attracted to men with dark hair. oh, and i prefer them taller than me, but not necessarily tall.

truthfully, for me, the attraction starts from the inside and grows physically the more i like the guy.

however, there has to be at least some initial physical attraction; i couldn't ever date someone who i thought was ugly.

I absolutely believe that's a crucial component, and there have been times when I found "what I don't want" to be a far more important consideration than "what I do want" -- because of the totally exclusionary nature of the major "don'ts."



I see it as something of an exercise in self-awareness, combined with the ability to look past what the "herd" expects --

so if all these attractive guys are meeting all these attractive women, how come there are so many ugly kids running around?

Well, I always like reading your posts, because you have something to say.

But then, I'm really not mainstream enough to count, insofar as being a legitimate example is concerned!

Voice and the look in the eyes is what gets me usually so I don't know if that is shallow but the personality is what keeps me.

Initial attraction is really worthless when it comes to chosing a long term mate.

Sexual attraction is the bane of most relationships, they feel the rush of the chemical attraction and then two years into it they realize they don't even like each other. So it is over rated, really.

Very true -- I know that the ones I consider attractive are never the ones that get the same designation from "society," as a whole (whatever that means). I find most "classic beauties" -- using the terms in its most standard sense -- to be somewhat plastic and artificial, at least insofar as the surface mode goes.



Basically my 20s in a nutshell.



I guess I've reached the point where I have a better understanding of what my own preferences are (and WHY they are, although that's basically irrelevant for the task at hand), and I've lost any desire to care what other people think about that.

Right, and I'm a Top 40 pop star!

The trouble is, if a man publicly states his preference, the ladies that may have expressed interest in him (either publicly or privately) who do not fit the description he PREFERS will feel slighted. Even if they'll never admit it right away, they will eventually. "Oh, you like redheads, but I'm blonde," and so on. It cannot be denied that this happens, because I've seen it firsthand on many occasions, not only with myself, but with other male friends.

In a perfect world, my preference would be a slim-and-trim petite woman with long, brunette hair. Long legs are a plus (but her height is irrelevant). It's already a well-known established fact that I'm not a fan of big tits, nor of a big ol' ghetto booty. Dark brown eyes.

Yes, this pretty much describes a so-called "model" figure. Sue me.

I have seen that attractive kids usually come from a mixed couple, one with traditional good looks and the other not. Good looking people don't seem to guarantee good looks in the kids at all.

Absolutely. My point, though, is should THIS be something I concern myself with?

And I would say no -- because I have no interest in misleading anyone about what I'm looking for (and NOT looking for) -- which is clearly evident to anyone who reads my profile.

I figure it this way -- I did a thread a couple weeks ago which was basically just a way to tell people to lay off all the "intimidating" accusations I get just because I can write in complete sentences. My point was that, if you're intimidated by words on a screen, I'm probably not going to be too interested in anything else about you, anyway.

This is just a slightly skewed version of the same topic. I'm not going to pretend I'm interested in anyone/anything I'm not. There's no point. If someone finds that "shallow" or "superficial," I'm OK with that.

I'm taking a stand that it's OK to have preferences, and it's OK to have preferences that are weird or unique or even ones that people can't comprehend at all.

It's just not anybody else's business.



Yeah, I'm not a T&A guy either, never have been, never will be. I'm not really into Astarte, although that seems to be the prototype for the majority of guys. Just not for me, though.

As I get older, I find myself attracted, physically, to fewer and fewer people. Not sure why that is, but I'm OK with that, too.




But if that's what you like, that's what you like. I don't have a problem with that, and it's none of my business, anyway.

That's really the point of the whole thing.

I believe as we get older, that is how it is supposed to be. We take our years of experience and know what we like and what we don't like period.
I don't think that is shallow I think that as knowing ones self.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I wasn't directing that "at" you, I was just stating it to the public at large as a general admission.



I agree, and this can go for practically any other aspect of life or lifestyle as well. I'll be the first to admit that I'm rather vocal about many things, decidedly controversial, and arguably "politically INcorrect." Granted, tact has never been my strong suit, and I don't believe I even have a diplomacy bone in my body, but I see no point in sugar-coating things and beating around the bush just to save face or to avoid hurting somebody's little feelers. Some folks may call that "going for the throat," and they may be entirely correct, but if that makes me shallow, then so be it, but nobody better expect me to apologize for it.

I am not 'shallow'. I am 'discerning' when it comes to choosing a potential mate. I simply make the best possible judgments concerning what characteristics I want in a partner.

'Shallow' is rarely a positive thing. While 'discerning' is almost always a positive.

Even though we say what we want or do not want in certain things or criteria. Why is it that men tend to take "heat" for their wants? Women get ticked off if a man says "I want a slim / slender smart and talented person or someone close to that". Yet we pretend to let others know that those rquirements are neogotiable. When in reality they aren't. "head games" in profiles , in life , in general . So why can't people just accept facts as they are with out being judges. For men as a "perv" "shallow" and god knows what else.

I'm picky about personality but for the physical aspect I am only picky when it comes to the face the rest I don't care.