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| Topic: Embrace Your Shallowosity | |
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Edited by
LilOlMeFromSD
on
Wed 01/28/09 04:03 PM
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Even though we say what we want or do not want in certain things or criteria. Why is it that men tend to take "heat" for their wants? Women get ticked off if a man says "I want a slim / slender smart and talented person or someone close to that". Yet we pretend to let others know that those rquirements are neogotiable. When in reality they aren't. "head games" in profiles , in life , in general . So why can't people just accept facts as they are with out being judges. For men as a "perv" "shallow" and god knows what else. Durtydduck, If a man is "taking heat" for letting his criteria be known that is his own issue. That man is allowing himself to "take heat" for it. Perhaps if he chose to educate others about his boundaries, he wouldn't have to be concerned with "taking heat" on anything. |
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i think a person is judged to be shallow by microcosm who are not the type the individual says he/she is looking for or prefers...jmo
i really don't see the point in taggin or branding someone something when it comes to his or her preferences.especially when it comes to dating |
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I have preference...
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As I get older, I find myself attracted, physically, to fewer and fewer people. Not sure why that is, but I'm OK with that, too.
funny, as i find myself the exact opposite. it's not really so much that i find more people attractive now than i did in my younger years, but rather i am more accepting of their faults and imperfections and that, in the grand scheme of things, one or two traits that i don't like isn't enough to prevent me from nurturing a relationship. |
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Even though we say what we want or do not want in certain things or criteria. Why is it that men tend to take "heat" for their wants? Women get ticked off if a man says "I want a slim / slender smart and talented person or someone close to that". Yet we pretend to let others know that those rquirements are neogotiable. When in reality they aren't. "head games" in profiles , in life , in general . So why can't people just accept facts as they are with out being judges. For men as a "perv" "shallow" and god knows what else. Durtydduck, If a man is "taking heat" for letting his criteria be known that is his own issue. That man is allowing himself to "take heat" for it. Perhaps if he chose to educate others about his boundaries, he wouldn't have to be concerned with "taking heat" on anything. |
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Well you certainly have a valid point. When you look at the animal kingdom, mates are chosen for their appearance or ability to do some funny dance.....or some other attribute specific to what turns on that particular species. I am certainly willing to concede that, where humans are concerned, we too are attracted to each other and pair up....initially on sight. As higher beings....we are subsequently drawn to each other and are held together by attractions other than the purely physical as well. But physical attraction IS how is all begins..... But you have that robot thing going for you. That's an unfair advantage |
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The whole 'online dating' thing is too 'in your face' for me. It's like there's some urgency to find your mate. I need a natural course of getting to know a woman over time in a normal environment.... work, hobbies, AA meetings, whatever....
If you can let things progress naturally, then the attraction will be based more on the whole package. Of course there's still a physical element to that attraction and some of that can't be overcome. |
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Even though we say what we want or do not want in certain things or criteria. Why is it that men tend to take "heat" for their wants? Women get ticked off if a man says "I want a slim / slender smart and talented person or someone close to that". Yet we pretend to let others know that those rquirements are neogotiable. When in reality they aren't. "head games" in profiles , in life , in general . So why can't people just accept facts as they are with out being judges. For men as a "perv" "shallow" and god knows what else. Durtydduck, If a man is "taking heat" for letting his criteria be known that is his own issue. That man is allowing himself to "take heat" for it. Perhaps if he chose to educate others about his boundaries, he wouldn't have to be concerned with "taking heat" on anything. I have been pondering your earlier statements about "taking heat" and I may have one potential answer for 'why women feel slighted'. (**See hypothetical scenario below**). **If a woman is romantically interested in a man and she finds out that she doesn't meet his criteria exactly, this (in her mind) takes her out of the running. Thus resulting in her feeling rejected/slighted. She may then lash out at the man by referring to him as, "Shallow." ** But, this door swings both ways. Women are also labeled with this term in a negative manner. And men also use terms such as skank, lesbian, b*itch, whore, etc. to refer to (I call this: Verbal Spearing)a woman when they feel rejected/slighted. I guess it all boils down to how you handle rejection. |
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**If a woman is romantically interested in a man and she finds out that she doesn't meet his criteria exactly, this (in her mind) takes her out of the running. Thus resulting in her feeling rejected/slighted. She may then lash out at the man by referring to him as, "Shallow." **
This sounds familiar, but I can't remember where I heard it.... 
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