I can understand the intimidating effect of being more capable than the throng in which you move. It is a reality that precious few people experience often enough to develop social grace when dealing with superior intellect.

I've always been bashed and shamed for my choices in picking them. Made to feel foolish. Yet, in this thread, they are celebrated. What a double standard.

Perhaps that double standard knows no gender. Perhaps it is also there because what people are referring to as "narcissists" in this thread isn't really a full blown narcissist. The word is thrown about too loosely/lightly.

Have you ever had PTSD as a result of your relationship with someone? I'm not talking physical abuse. If you have had PTSD, well then, you just MAY have been involved with a genuine narcissist.

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Their own projection and denial.

They are hiding behind "The False Mask".

They are charming, superficial, and glib. Some are attracted to and misled by that. Many others aren't.

Have you ever read Alice Miller's book, Drama of the Gifted Child?

They are not talking about true narcissism. In reality it is a very disturbing and potentially dangerous disorder. And, yes, you would suffer PTSD if you had been involved with one.

I've never attempted to be either -- and I don't think I've ever been accused of being a bully -- but the "intimidating" line gets tossed around frequently enough that I'm starting to wonder why this many people have chosen -- and make no mistake about it, it's a choice on their part -- to be "intimidated" by something that's generally intended to be interpreted as humorous, thought-provoking, or randomly pointless.

Narcissistic and conceited do not necessarily go hand-in-hand.

The need for pragmatic narcissism is fundamental to manage our self-respect, for if we do not admire/nurture/value our inner/outer self, then that lack of confidence is shown in our demeanor. We are attracted to people whom display self-knowledge and comfort with their ego and their whole life. Such self-appreciation is not conceit, in my opinion. Nor is it unrealistic for us to be attracted to such people, for we each desire confidence in thought and in action in everyone.

In contrast to the youth-centered culture, where the natural physiological beauty is evident with no regard to experience, I value the maturing culture where the beauty is more evident through years of self-nurturing in the face of hardships and unfortunate events. There is truly a distinct and sweet beauty that is evident in the scars of experience, whether inward or outward, when the bearer takes care to blend such scars into the ever-weaving tapestry of life.

For the inexperienced, just know that the matured narcissism includes the ravages of time, all of the way from calloused heels and cracked nails to the graying of wispy hair and the laugh lines and crow's feet by the eyes. The degree of self-care is often only evident after coming to know each person more closely than a glance at a picture can show. Appreciate these facts of life, for it is your future, too, and I wish each of you all the joy of self-discovery along the way.

O
M
G

You've got me smiling bigger than a kid with a fresh cone of cotton candy!!

Stop it...some more!

They are not talking about true narcissism. In reality it is a very disturbing and potentially dangerous disorder. And, yes, you would suffer PTSD if you had been involved with one.

I thought they were talking about real narcissism. Hmmmm....

Let's turn that around --

Why do people believe that the others feel they are superior or worthy of such envy when nothing has been done to convey that perception?

It's an assumption -- based on -- what?

That's where I'm trying to take this.

Do you use your intellect to distance yourself from others for fear of genuine intimacy? I have.

I've never attempted to be either -- and I don't think I've ever been accused of being a bully -- but the "intimidating" line gets tossed around frequently enough that I'm starting to wonder why this many people have chosen -- and make no mistake about it, it's a choice on their part -- to be "intimidated" by something that's generally intended to be interpreted as humorous, thought-provoking, or randomly pointless.

Get over it

That makes sense, and I certainly couldn't hold it against them that it's something they simply haven't encountered enough to have devised a means of dealing with.

My problem, though, is with the apparent "leap of logic" from "I'm not really familiar with this kind of situation" to "So-and-so is obviously an arrogant narcissistic conceited jerk because So-and-so used some words I don't know and is therefore intimidating me."

It strikes me as a little defensive; maybe a little lazy, too, inasmuch as the person apparently would rather blast the messenger than take the time to learn how to decipher the message.

Might not have been your intention but just saying these two things makes you come out that you think you are better than any woman you ever met or will ever meet.

Na I tend to attract sociopaths both online and off.

I wonder if the creation of a new internet site with a prerequisite History of The Internet exam, would go far. Like studying to take a Driver's Test, before getting a Learner's Permit, but for Internet Usage.

I would guess that full blown true narcissism as a mental disorder (or is it related to borderline personality) is extremely rare. I don’t know what the stats are for occurrence in the general population.

No, this was intended to be entirely satirical (although it has drifted off in a few interesting, non-satirical directions).

It's based on a number of e-mails I've received in which people apparently perceive me as the ANCJ of the thread title, and accuse me of being "intimidating" through things I write. Anyone who knows me at all would find this concept absolutely hilarious; I decided to play with the perceptions a little and see what I could do with those.