Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: How should I get my boyfriend to be more romantic towards me
michiganman3 Joined Mon 10/29/07 Posts: 14521	Tue 12/02/08 06:33 AM
Another thought to ponder. Romance is not all the fairy tale stuff of flowers, candy, moonlit picnics on the beach, etc. Romance simply means that the other person is thinking of you and wants to do something nice for you, because they can. My boyfriend is not "Prince Charming" in the fairy tale sense, but he's incredibly thoughtful. He makes dinner when I don't feel like it, he knows I hate to vacuum so he does that most of the time for me, he cleans my car out, he gives me control of the remote, calls or texts just to say hi, lets me know if he's gonna be late or whatever so I don't worry, stuff like that. To me, that's the most romantic thing ever. He cares and he shows it every day in so many little ways that mean way more than a bunch of flowers because he thinks that's what he SHOULD do. Those little things he does come from his heart and say way more than anything. And how do you respond or reply to his efforts?? I bet he is not acting in a vacuum, and that you respond to let him know that his actions are appriciated.

SuzinVA Joined Wed 04/25/07 Posts: 28730	Tue 12/02/08 06:52 AM
And how do you respond or reply to his efforts?? I bet he is not acting in a vacuum, and that you respond to let him know that his actions are appriciated. Well, of course I do. I try my best to tell and show him how much I appreciate him and notice all the effort he puts in and I do my best to reciprocate. A good relationship takes work and effort from both, and a little goes a loooooong way

michiganman3 Joined Mon 10/29/07 Posts: 14521	Tue 12/02/08 06:59 AM
And how do you respond or reply to his efforts?? I bet he is not acting in a vacuum, and that you respond to let him know that his actions are appriciated. Well, of course I do. I try my best to tell and show him how much I appreciate him and notice all the effort he puts in and I do my best to reciprocate. A good relationship takes work and effort from both, and a little goes a loooooong way So the OP could respond and reward her BF's slightest efforts at being 'romantic' to increase the possibilty that it will be repeated. Women can use subtle ways to "tell" a man what they want without having to spell it out for him. But she must respond in a fashion the the BF understands.

SuzinVA Joined Wed 04/25/07 Posts: 28730	Tue 12/02/08 07:21 AM
And how do you respond or reply to his efforts?? I bet he is not acting in a vacuum, and that you respond to let him know that his actions are appriciated. Well, of course I do. I try my best to tell and show him how much I appreciate him and notice all the effort he puts in and I do my best to reciprocate. A good relationship takes work and effort from both, and a little goes a loooooong way So the OP could respond and reward her BF's slightest efforts at being 'romantic' to increase the possibilty that it will be repeated. Women can use subtle ways to "tell" a man what they want without having to spell it out for him. But she must respond in a fashion the the BF understands. True. But, first and foremost, she needs to be honest and quit playing games about what she wants and needs. As someone else pointed out, people, generally speaking, are not psychic, we can't know what someone else is thinking unless they speak up. If she asks but he can't give in the manner she needs, then that's a separate issue altogether. But she will never know unless she speaks up.

Jim519 Joined Thu 12/27/07 Posts: 9203	Tue 12/02/08 05:34 PM
There are tons of guys who I know are interested in dating me whom I'm only very slightly interest towards. They all try to be uber nice and romantic. Getting me my favorite energies drinks out of the blue, roman candles (fireworks), buying me candy, giving me rides, or always wanting to go to shows with me even if they don't know the band. I recently had a friend who lives in the far in the city on the south side who took the train back to the suburbs with me after a show just because he wanted to spend more time with me and make sure I got to the station safely. It was a really long ride back for him at 3am and he was dead tired too, but it was his idea so I didn't oppose. These guys do all the right ** and I could date any of them instantly. My boyfriend is just so lame sometimes. He hasn't done anything romantic for me. I'm not asking for a lot either, just simple ** to show he cares. We just fool around a lot. Maybe I should stop being so affectionate physically? In reading all of this, it looks like you are stating what men could or should be doing for you. What have you done for him lately?..As we all know it takes two

Nohottiesheresrsly Joined Thu 11/13/08 Posts: 264	Tue 12/02/08 11:34 PM
What have I done for him? I constantly make him feel like a king and I don't need to go into details about that but you could only imagine. He's just done very little for me.. sigh You know I get even stalked by geeks at malls if I linger too long alone in places like gamestop or target. Guys freakin love me, expect for my guy I guess. So lame..

Nohottiesheresrsly Joined Thu 11/13/08 Posts: 264	Tue 12/02/08 11:35 PM
I personally consider myself the most perfect girlfriend. Trust me, i'm hella freakin cool. But he needs to appericate that more.

Daybrightener Joined Wed 11/19/08 Posts: 254	Wed 12/03/08 03:09 PM
Is he financially able to do the romantic things you want?

Nohottiesheresrsly Joined Thu 11/13/08 Posts: 264	Wed 12/03/08 04:42 PM
He has a very high paying job so all my female friends were drooling the second they meet him, expect for me (aside the fact that I never drool over anyone). I was the only person who sincerely did not give a damn. I'm not a petty materialistic person so it doesn't really matter to me how much he earns. Character is more important, If I like you it's because I admire who you are, not how much you make. He could be the poorest mother*****er in the world but if he still made an consistent effort to really treasure me, I'd be completely his. It's the thought that DOES really counts and that's all i'm asking for, I really don't think i'm asking for too much.

Daybrightener Joined Wed 11/19/08 Posts: 254	Wed 12/03/08 05:07 PM Edited by Daybrightener on Wed 12/03/08 05:07 PM
Character is more important, If I like you it's because I admire who you are, not how much you make. So he has great character or you wouldnt be with him. Does he ever in any way show you that he thinks of you? What does he do on the special days?

Riding_Dubz Joined Wed 05/21/08 Posts: 22110	Wed 12/03/08 05:10 PM
maybe you could leave him a note in his lunch pale ?

catwoman96 Joined Thu 08/14/08 Posts: 5848	Wed 12/03/08 05:15 PM
maybe you could leave him a note in his lunch pale ? thats a sweet simple idea...i used to do that with my x husband...put hershey kisses and stuff in his lunch bag..so when he got up and packed it he would know i was thiking about him before i went to bed.

Nohottiesheresrsly Joined Thu 11/13/08 Posts: 264	Wed 12/03/08 05:15 PM
Nothing! We just hang out at his place, watch documentaries, fool around quiet heavily, and then call it a day.

Nohottiesheresrsly Joined Thu 11/13/08 Posts: 264	Wed 12/03/08 05:16 PM
I feel like I'm just a toy for him and that he doesn't really care about me.

catwoman96 Joined Thu 08/14/08 Posts: 5848	Wed 12/03/08 05:17 PM
some men just arent romantic. if its a problem now fix it or leave him....

catwoman96 Joined Thu 08/14/08 Posts: 5848	Wed 12/03/08 05:20 PM Edited by catwoman96 on Wed 12/03/08 05:20 PM
run him a bubble bath? get him some bath/shower toys? write him a beautiful poem...or find a beautiful poem and give it to him.. breakfast.. OR DINNER in bed. buy some strawberries and whipped cream...and let him make you dessert after a beautiful meal... im full of romantic thoughts..but im seriously dating the most romantic guy in thsis world.

catwoman96 Joined Thu 08/14/08 Posts: 5848	Wed 12/03/08 05:24 PM
get him to meet you in some public space...under a monument..at the mall... greet him with a passionate gotta have you kiss..and then walk around holding hands and being goofy.