by like the "love of your life"...

don't mean to bum anyone but is there any way reconcile after that?

did you randomly sleep with someone and say fair is fair?

what did u do?

posted in other thread but advised this may be better...

"did you randomly sleep with someone and say fair is fair?"


That would just be hurting myself, IMO.

would you just accept an apology and work at the relationship going forward?

nope- divorced him and moved on. It was his loss not mine- he hasn't been very lucky in love since

well i have been cheated on right after valentines day to boot. i left and never looked back cheating is cheating and once a cheater always a cheater..........
sorry for lose but it sounds like your are better off now

My first wife cheated on me openly for the last 7 years we were md. Can I forgive and forget? Yup.Would I ever do it? Not on your life, I know what it feels like. I have pondered why I put up with it for years, I suppose it is because I know that ppl make mistakes, sometimes over and over, and I know I make mistakes myself, over and over, and hope ppl forgive me mine. I suppose it has to do with the balance of your relationship. Is she(he) worth the effort to get over the situation? I don't know. Would I do the same again? I don't know that one either

My wife cheated on me while I was attending my brothers funeral. Sad but true

lol...my ex cheated on me w/ her bf on Christmas while the kids and I were opening presents...said she wanted to give him his "present" and did not wake up in time to come home for Christmas morning. Try to nicely explain that to a 5 yo and a 3 yo....lol

My first girlfriend, whom we were supposed to lose our virginity together, she lost it to my brother instead.

It took me a LONG time to get over that, and forgive them both.

Wow Now that's bad!

I've been cheated on but didn't retaliate and I didn't try to work it out. I've know people who have stuck with it after their spouse cheated, but I think it would take a very forgiving and strong person to be willing to do something like that. I couldn't!

Answers to your questions in chronilogiical order; yes, no, no, nothing, and no.

damn guys....

thanks for sharing sometimes when something like this happens u assume your the only one who's gone through it....

I guess I should share...

well...my live in girl for the past couple years left me to move back to her mothers because well the fighting became the main focus in the relationship...

we agreed it would be a break but we continued sleeping with each other and doing the whole couple thing but just more dating then "married"...

literally we would break up everyday because of the obvious resentment...

but we always remained true that if one was ready to move on or found someone else, no surprises just brutal truth...

this has been going on for 6 months...

for the past month we've been getting along great and agreed that we are officially together again...

but I just couldn't shake the feeling that during the down time she wasn't being truthful....well long story short I found out that she did sleep with someone and yesterday I got her to admit it for confirmation....

I'm broken....do I throw away years or forgive and forget because of the Ross and Rachael rule???

Again, thanks for sharing everyone because really I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it as I am embarrassed as sh*t about the whole thing

Cheated on?-yes

Reconciled-NO

Randomly-NO.....Methodically-YES..

Did about it-Shot her.....oh wait before you go off all rightous on me....it was only a dream

but a pleasant one.....

lol...dude last night I was dreaming about pulling her off random shlongs...

but thx for the joke I needed a laugh

Eventually I found a little self-respect and divorced him...

Being cheated on sucks unless you are invited too!

I have tried to work out the relationship but it didn't work. It was always on my mind that he was going to do it again. I couldn't get over it. Some people can and it never happens again.

Been cheated on - Yes

Reconciliation - Nope

Her loss.

Been cheated on - Yes

Reconciled - Yes

Retaliated by cheating too - Nope


8 years later he cheated again ... and yes, I filed for divorce...


The only difference between the first time and the second is it got easier for him to lie to me ...

Reference point - time invested - nearly 20 years

Self discovery: I really can love unconditionally and I really can forgive completely.

Note to self ... Will not do that again though...already learned the lessons



Oh ... and it turns out he was not the love of my life ... hindsight is 20/20

I've never been cheated on. And, because of this, I would like to believe that I have the makeup to forgive her if she did cheat on me. But to forget? That is a very hard thing to do. I mean, I just wouldn't look at her the same, nor could I openly trust that person. Maybe with time? It could happen, but I don't feel it would be fair to me to have to give her that chance while I am thinking that the possibility she could do it again is high.

To me, when I am involved, I put all my efforts into that relationship, which includes all my trust. I give it willingly because I know that in order for a relationship to work, you have to. If that trust was ever broken, I believe I could forgive. But forget? Move on with her and keep trying? That would be a most difficult thing to do.

Dude, I guess you should ask yourself this....is she worth it? Is she worth trying this hard for? Is what the two of you had together worth the fight? If yes to all, then work hard on it, but don't ever keep bringing up how she hurt you. If you loves and cares for you, then the pain she has is already their. If you are hesitant to answer yes to the above questions, or you just don't know...then I think you either take time away from her...or break it off. In either case, I wish you the best.