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| Topic: Marriage... | |
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it's a ritual of tradition that just about every girl dreams of. good luck with your stance on the issue. That is so not true. What fantasy world did you just walk out of? marige is nothing but a piece of paper that says your mine and actually in reality no one owns anyone but because you signed the paper alot will look at it as a form of control when being with somone is something freely given. I will agree on the part that it is tradition ,but what is the paper for knowing that most relationships last longer when you don't get married? but when you sign that paper. Alot will not last more then two years being with somone 
My parents had their 50th wedding anniversary this summer. My grandparents reached their 60th. Quite a my few aunts and uncles are approaching their 50th. The ones that aren't are due to the loss of a loved one. I know even more people that are almost at 25 yrs. What year was that? 
Ok ill be serious. the truth here is. todays generation does not have the value as your parents and more so your grand parents did. so there for. The sense on vaule of family and marrige has gone out the window in today generation. there might be a few stragglers, but thats about it. I know plenty of people my age that have been married 20+ years too. I see long termed married people all around me. It's more common that you think. |
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Edited by
joshyfox
on
Mon 10/27/08 05:33 AM
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What is the purpose? I am quite confused at why two people who truly love each other feel the need to prove it by getting married; why not just stay together have kids and call it a family if not that is what it is. I won't get married because I don't understand the fundemental reason behind it, at one time maybe it held more to it than taxes and a piece of paper...but anymore why the hell even bother? I see three reasons: 1. Religious reasons, although in a sense if you are living together and have kids in the eyes of God you are actually married, even without a ceremony or legal papers to prove it. 2. Legal Matters, some countries still make a big deal out of unmarried couples having kids and our society still isn't entirely keen on it. 3. Tax cuts, Our government gives a break to registered married couples (well straight ones anyway), and as silly as that is, that could be a reason for getting married over just being together. Basically though, if two people truly love each other romantically, live together and are committed to each other, they are married. |
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What is the purpose? I am quite confused at why two people who truly love each other feel the need to prove it by getting married; why not just stay together have kids and call it a family if not that is what it is. I won't get married because I don't understand the fundemental reason behind it, at one time maybe it held more to it than taxes and a piece of paper...but anymore why the hell even bother? Having lived through it once -- barely -- I now have a much better understanding of the complete and utter lack of necessity for it. |
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Having lived through it once -- barely -- I now have a much better understanding of the complete and utter lack of necessity for it. Without trying to sound bitter or angry, which I'm not... I have to agree with your comment. I lived through it once --barely-- and it's HIGHLY unlikely that I'd do it again. Not to say I would be opposed to a long-term partner but SPOUSE and PARTNER aren't necessarily the same thing (and no...I'm not talking same sex partner either but "whatever" if that is your orientation - I don't care!) I don't have anything AGAINST marriage either. And when I see people who have been married a long time, I think it's wonderful & honestly...I wish my relationship could have been that solid. It just didn't end up being my reality. |
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I tried it once...never wished to do it again.
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Having lived through it once -- barely -- I now have a much better understanding of the complete and utter lack of necessity for it. Without trying to sound bitter or angry, which I'm not... I have to agree with your comment. I lived through it once --barely-- and it's HIGHLY unlikely that I'd do it again. Not to say I would be opposed to a long-term partner but SPOUSE and PARTNER aren't necessarily the same thing (and no...I'm not talking same sex partner either but "whatever" if that is your orientation - I don't care!) I don't have anything AGAINST marriage either. And when I see people who have been married a long time, I think it's wonderful & honestly...I wish my relationship could have been that solid. It just didn't end up being my reality. That's the part that took me awhile to figure out -- it wasn't marriage, per se, that was the problem, for me -- it was a poor choice of partner. Eventually, I saw that, and accepted that marriage isn't necessarily a death sentence for everyone. Reminds me of the old joke -- a man is incomplete until he's married. Once he's married, he's finished. But my experience was bad enough that I can't see ever doing it again, regardless. People bring up their reasons -- some people do it for religious purposes; I'm an atheist. Some people do it for the benefit of the kids; I don't have kids and never will. Taxes? Meh, if I get to the point where financial considerations play into a relationship status issue, it's time to find another relationship anyway. |
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marriage is a joke,just like divorce,my friend dave and his girlfriend cindy have been together since high school ,so about 20 years,i asked them why dont you get married,they said,"we dont want to ruin a good thing".they have three kids too. every single one of my other friends have been married and divorced already including myself.actually my ex and i were together longer not married, than when we were.
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Honestly, LexF? It's one of the 2 words I jokingly call the M&M's (Marriage & Moving-In) both of which pretty much scare the crap outta me to consider.
Besides...M&M's make you fat, right??? LOL!
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Honestly, LexF? It's one of the 2 words I jokingly call the M&M's (Marriage & Moving-In) both of which pretty much scare the crap outta me to consider. Besides...M&M's make you fat, right??? LOL!
Well, I have to admit I've seen a lot of instances where people "let themselves go" after they've "caught" someone they believe (rightly or wrongly) is going to be with them for life. But I'm probably not the best one to give advice on this -- one marriage, and a dozen or so live-ins, and none of them got fat -- but none of them were really around for very long, either. I have a short attention span. |
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I was actually joking about the M&Ms...
but you have a point. Good observation! LOL! |
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3. Tax cuts, Our government gives a break to registered married couples (well straight ones anyway), and as silly as that is, that could be a reason for getting married over just being together.
Not true..there is actually a marriage penalty..... 
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What is the purpose? I am quite confused at why two people who truly love each other feel the need to prove it by getting married; why not just stay together have kids and call it a family if not that is what it is. I won't get married because I don't understand the fundemental reason behind it, at one time maybe it held more to it than taxes and a piece of paper...but anymore why the hell even bother? |
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"Marriage" ain't a word. It's a sentence.
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"Marriage" ain't a word. It's a sentence. 
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Having lived through it once -- barely -- I now have a much better understanding of the complete and utter lack of necessity for it. Without trying to sound bitter or angry, which I'm not... I have to agree with your comment. I lived through it once --barely-- and it's HIGHLY unlikely that I'd do it again. Not to say I would be opposed to a long-term partner but SPOUSE and PARTNER aren't necessarily the same thing (and no...I'm not talking same sex partner either but "whatever" if that is your orientation - I don't care!) I don't have anything AGAINST marriage either. And when I see people who have been married a long time, I think it's wonderful & honestly...I wish my relationship could have been that solid. It just didn't end up being my reality. That's the part that took me awhile to figure out -- it wasn't marriage, per se, that was the problem, for me -- it was a poor choice of partner. Eventually, I saw that, and accepted that marriage isn't necessarily a death sentence for everyone. Reminds me of the old joke -- a man is incomplete until he's married. Once he's married, he's finished. But my experience was bad enough that I can't see ever doing it again, regardless. People bring up their reasons -- some people do it for religious purposes; I'm an atheist. Some people do it for the benefit of the kids; I don't have kids and never will. Taxes? Meh, if I get to the point where financial considerations play into a relationship status issue, it's time to find another relationship anyway. Religion I think is a big reason why a lot get married, seeing as I'm agnostic I don't see the union the same as others may within the eyes of God (I simply can't commit to the idea of a God, but I don't completly deny the possibility). I can see the kids thing being a large reason as well...and I was thinking the same thing about taxes. 
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What is the purpose? I am quite confused at why two people who truly love each other feel the need to prove it by getting married; why not just stay together have kids and call it a family if not that is what it is. I won't get married because I don't understand the fundemental reason behind it, at one time maybe it held more to it than taxes and a piece of paper...but anymore why the hell even bother? See my point is if they love each other what is the use of having a ceremony to "prove" it? |
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What is the purpose? I am quite confused at why two people who truly love each other feel the need to prove it by getting married; why not just stay together have kids and call it a family if not that is what it is. I won't get married because I don't understand the fundemental reason behind it, at one time maybe it held more to it than taxes and a piece of paper...but anymore why the hell even bother? See my point is if they love each other what is the use of having a ceremony to "prove" it? That's what makes it special. |
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exactly
 
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What is the purpose? I am quite confused at why two people who truly love each other feel the need to prove it by getting married; why not just stay together have kids and call it a family if not that is what it is. I won't get married because I don't understand the fundemental reason behind it, at one time maybe it held more to it than taxes and a piece of paper...but anymore why the hell even bother? See my point is if they love each other what is the use of having a ceremony to "prove" it? That's what makes it special. Explain how it makes it more special then it already is, how do two people look at each other with love and go "well we need to make this more special, let's get married"? |
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Edited by
BlueskyJ
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Mon 10/27/08 03:09 PM
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I think i've said this before.....If We both love each other & want to make the relationship permanent than I want to be married.....I don't want to introduce her as my girlfriend, but as my wife....
I want to show her my committment to only her....can do that without marriage, but it is the act that counts.....like random acts of kindness, i believe in 'acts of love'...... The ceremony is the 'sharing of love' |
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