Community > Coffee Houses, Bars & Chit Chat

Topic: BAD_GIRL'S GUIDE TO BABYSITTING 101
bad_girl Joined Tue 07/17/07 Posts: 67379	Mon 10/27/08 02:12 PM
I wonder what the mods think when they reas this stuff, I just hope the cops don;t come to my house and lock me up for child abuse If they have kids....we are not being hired!!!!

feralcatlady Joined Mon 10/08/07 Posts: 35491	Mon 10/27/08 02:18 PM
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT........I WANT EVERYONE ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT FOR THIS ONE.....OMG OMG OMG OMG.... OK THIS IS IT.... I WOULD FORMALLY LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THE MARRIAGE (CHILLS) OF TOM (SHARPSHOOTER) TO MERLE (BAD_GIRL) THIS EVENING 6:30 EASTERN TIME...THIS IS FOR REAL....THIS IS NOT A DEBBIE JOKE.....LOL I AM HOPING TO BE ABLE TO LISTEN TO THE CEREMONY VIA THE TELEPHONE TONIGHT.... THE REST OF THIS THREAD AND PROBABLY THE NEXT AND AWWW HELL THE NEXT TO WILL BE DEDICATED TO MY FIRST MARRIAGE. (CHILLS AGAIN) I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO BE THE FIRST TO CONGRATULATE THE TWO OF YOU......I HAVE WATCHED THIS RELATIONSHIP DEVELOP INTO SOMETHING QUITE SPECIAL OVER THE LAST YEAR. I AM HONORED TO BE PART OF THEIR LIVES...AND I LOVE YOU BOTH SO VERY VERY MUCH.... Debbie Matchmaker...... OH YEA BABY CRYING MY EYES OUT BUT STILL HAPPY DANCING....OH YEA HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY DANCE HAPPY DANCE............. HAPPY DANCE.......

bad_girl Joined Tue 07/17/07 Posts: 67379	Sat 01/31/09 02:20 PM
LEE #2, THIS IS JUST FOR YOU. I HAD TO DIG DEEP TO FIND THIS SO READ, ENJOY AND PRACTICE Here are my well earned rights as a bonafide babysitter, rules for proper babysitting, not necessarily to be used in the order written or all at once (or yes can be), whichever you choose: 1. Lots and lots of 2-liter bottles of coke (must be the real thing, not decaf or diet) a. To perform loud belches b. To release lots and lots of butt gas (disclaimer: not responsible for smell, have lots of air freshener handy) 2. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet and have an extra set around your neck 3. Changes of underwear and slippers for those accidental pissing bouts you may encounter 4. Bottles and bottles of Benadryl (for allergic reactions and sleep deprived nights) looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 5. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 6. Fast moving ceiling fans (must be able to hold at least 130 pounds while spinning in mid-air) looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 7. Plenty of paper towels to clean up mess from #1 above looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 8. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 9. Rolls and rolls of duct tape (assorted colors, I found that the kids are attracted to bright colors, thanks Patti ) looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet Suggestion from Tazz (thanks Tazz), clear tape so visitors can't see the tape on their mouths 10. Reams and reams of bubble wrap (thanks Connie) so when they roll across the floor, they pop loud (hey, you need to enjoy it as well) and don't break furniture and fine glassware as they hit it looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet Suggestion from peekinin (thanks Ell), a black marker so you will know which "END" is "UP" 11. Plenty of paint to hide the marks from the duct tape looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 12. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 13. When you decide to babysit, make sure it is in a state where school is open 365 days a year (minus 1 day for religious observance) looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 14. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 15. Teach the kids these simple phrases: a. Yes ma'am (or sir) b. Yes ma'am (or sir) c. Yes ma'am (or sir) 16. Plenty of band-aids/antiseptic cream in case the kids scrape their knuckles/knees/hands/faces trying to break free from the duct tape restraints looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 17. You must be able to run faster than the children you are babysitting looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 18. Make sure you know how to cook, kids like to eat looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 19. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 20. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 21. A sound proof room to keep kids in, so when you pass out (after, you find the keys to the liquor cabinet) no one can hear them yelling for a bathroom break! (Kudos again Tazz)looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 22. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet *****PLEASE REMEMBER THESE RULES WILL NOT WORK WITH ALL KIDS, JUST SOME

txmomof2 Joined Fri 12/07/07 Posts: 73300	Sat 01/31/09 02:23 PM
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bad_girl Joined Tue 07/17/07 Posts: 67379	Sat 01/31/09 02:25 PM
You like Lee

txmomof2 Joined Fri 12/07/07 Posts: 73300	Sat 01/31/09 02:26 PM
YES I do

bad_girl Joined Tue 07/17/07 Posts: 67379	Sat 01/31/09 02:28 PM
I knew you would, now do you see why I went deep into the archives to find it

txmomof2 Joined Fri 12/07/07 Posts: 73300	Sun 02/01/09 07:09 AM


bad_girl Joined Tue 07/17/07 Posts: 67379	Sun 02/01/09 02:56 PM


Tazz42 Joined Fri 02/29/08 Posts: 9660	Sun 02/01/09 06:48 PM
Are we babysitting again? Where the heck is the key to the liquor cabinet, Bad??????????

BonnyMiss Joined Thu 05/10/07 Posts: 15342	Sun 02/01/09 06:55 PM
Yes, we are having a blast and YEP, duct tape really does have a 1001 uses DUCT TAPE !!! Also good for keeping mice away from your door,taping panels on the bath tub,wrapping plates of food...........!!

Tazz42 Joined Fri 02/29/08 Posts: 9660	Sun 02/01/09 07:00 PM
Yes, we are having a blast and YEP, duct tape really does have a 1001 uses DUCT TAPE !!! Also good for keeping mice away from your door,taping panels on the bath tub,wrapping plates of food...........!! .........Taping your ex boyfriend to the ceiling of the garage!

BonnyMiss Joined Thu 05/10/07 Posts: 15342	Sun 02/01/09 07:02 PM
Yes, we are having a blast and YEP, duct tape really does have a 1001 uses DUCT TAPE !!! Also good for keeping mice away from your door,taping panels on the bath tub,wrapping plates of food...........!! .........Taping your ex boyfriend to the ceiling of the garage! You owe me a roll of kitchen towel........to mop up the lemonade I just spilt

Tazz42 Joined Fri 02/29/08 Posts: 9660	Sun 02/01/09 07:05 PM
Yes, we are having a blast and YEP, duct tape really does have a 1001 uses DUCT TAPE !!! Also good for keeping mice away from your door,taping panels on the bath tub,wrapping plates of food...........!! .........Taping your ex boyfriend to the ceiling of the garage! You owe me a roll of kitchen towel........to mop up the lemonade I just spilt It's on it's way! Duct tape isn't just for babysitting!

BonnyMiss Joined Thu 05/10/07 Posts: 15342	Sun 02/01/09 07:08 PM
Yes, we are having a blast and YEP, duct tape really does have a 1001 uses DUCT TAPE !!! Also good for keeping mice away from your door,taping panels on the bath tub,wrapping plates of food...........!! .........Taping your ex boyfriend to the ceiling of the garage! You owe me a roll of kitchen towel........to mop up the lemonade I just spilt It's on it's way! Duct tape isn't just for babysitting! I did not know there were so many uses for duct tape....until now,that is

Tazz42 Joined Fri 02/29/08 Posts: 9660	Sun 02/01/09 07:09 PM
My Mother used to swear by Duct tape! Her saying..."duct tape....... sticks to water!"

BonnyMiss Joined Thu 05/10/07 Posts: 15342	Sun 02/01/09 07:14 PM
My Mother used to swear by Duct tape! Her saying..."duct tape....... sticks to water!" It is way too late into the night (past 3am) for me to be screeching like a banshee!!

PacificStar48 Joined Tue 10/02/07 Posts: 13764	Sun 02/01/09 07:18 PM
Here are my well earned rights as a bonafide babysitter, rules for proper babysitting, not necessarily to be used in the order written or all at once (or yes can be), whichever you choose: 1. Lots and lots of 2-liter bottles of coke (must be the real thing, not decaf or diet) a. To perform loud belches b. To release lots and lots of butt gas (disclaimer: not responsible for smell, have lots of air freshener handy) 2. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet and have an extra set around your neck 3. Changes of underwear and slippers for those accidental pissing bouts you may encounter 4. Bottles and bottles of Benadryl (for allergic reactions and sleep deprived nights) looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 5. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 6. Fast moving ceiling fans (must be able to hold at least 130 pounds while spinning in mid-air) looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 7. Plenty of paper towels to clean up mess from #1 above looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 8. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 9. Rolls and rolls of duct tape (assorted colors, I found that the kids are attracted to bright colors, thanks Patti ) looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 10. Reams and reams of bubble wrap (thanks Connie) so when they roll across the floor, they pop loud (hey, you need to enjoy it as well) and don't break furniture and fine glassware as they hit it looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 11. Plenty of paint to hide the marks from the duct tape looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 12. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 13. When you decide to babysit, make sure it is in a state where school is open 365 days a year (minus 1 day for religious observance) looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 14. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 15. Teach the kids these simple phrases: a. Yes ma'am (or sir) b. Yes ma'am (or sir) c. Yes ma'am (or sir) 16. Plenty of band-aids/antiseptic cream in case the kids scrape their knuckles/knees/hands/faces trying to break free from the duct tape restraints looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 17. You must be able to run faster than the children you are babysitting looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 18. Make sure you know how to cook, kids like to eat looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 19. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 20. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet *****PLEASE REMEMBER THESE RULES WILL NOT WORK WITH ALL KIDS, JUST SOME LOL This plan works well if the kids are small enough to lock in the ligour closet. JUST KIDDING!

BonnyMiss Joined Thu 05/10/07 Posts: 15342	Sun 02/01/09 07:25 PM
Here are my well earned rights as a bonafide babysitter, rules for proper babysitting, not necessarily to be used in the order written or all at once (or yes can be), whichever you choose: 1. Lots and lots of 2-liter bottles of coke (must be the real thing, not decaf or diet) a. To perform loud belches b. To release lots and lots of butt gas (disclaimer: not responsible for smell, have lots of air freshener handy) 2. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet and have an extra set around your neck 3. Changes of underwear and slippers for those accidental pissing bouts you may encounter 4. Bottles and bottles of Benadryl (for allergic reactions and sleep deprived nights) looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 5. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 6. Fast moving ceiling fans (must be able to hold at least 130 pounds while spinning in mid-air) looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 7. Plenty of paper towels to clean up mess from #1 above looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 8. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 9. Rolls and rolls of duct tape (assorted colors, I found that the kids are attracted to bright colors, thanks Patti ) looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 10. Reams and reams of bubble wrap (thanks Connie) so when they roll across the floor, they pop loud (hey, you need to enjoy it as well) and don't break furniture and fine glassware as they hit it looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 11. Plenty of paint to hide the marks from the duct tape looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 12. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 13. When you decide to babysit, make sure it is in a state where school is open 365 days a year (minus 1 day for religious observance) looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 14. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 15. Teach the kids these simple phrases: a. Yes ma'am (or sir) b. Yes ma'am (or sir) c. Yes ma'am (or sir) 16. Plenty of band-aids/antiseptic cream in case the kids scrape their knuckles/knees/hands/faces trying to break free from the duct tape restraints looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 17. You must be able to run faster than the children you are babysitting looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 18. Make sure you know how to cook, kids like to eat looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet 19. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 20. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet ***PLEASE REMEMBER THESE RULES WILL NOT WORK WITH ALL KIDS, JUST SOME LOL This plan works well if the kids are small enough to lock in the ligour closet. JUST KIDDING! Sounds evil, but, it makes so much sense. I'm off to bed to dream of new ways of baby sitting (should the occasion arise) I wish you ladies a pleasant evening**

PacificStar48 Joined Tue 10/02/07 Posts: 13764	Sun 02/01/09 08:21 PM
Grandma Hagatha's Tips For Daycare Put super glue on the naughty chair. Put up night curtains and tell the kids it is bed time after lunch. Give the kids a bath with their clothes on and save on laundry. Call meals on Wheels and say the grandparents came over instead of the grandkids. Tell the kiddies you are going to play hide and seek then don't look for them. Tell the kids the monster is under your bed; guarantee they will let you sleep late. Tell them they can get up from their nap when the alarm goes off and don't set it. Play surprise birthday and tell the kids to hide in the fake cake box. Tell their parents you have the measles and you can't babysit until they are gone. Tell the kiddies the TV is broken; they won't wan to come. Tell the kiddies "Sure they can come over for supper your cooking turnips and brussel sprouts."