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| Topic: BAD_GIRL'S GUIDE TO BABYSITTING 101 | |
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Bad_girl, you forgot two REALLY important things!!!!!!!!
1. A TV with continuous play for cartoons. (For the kids.) 2. A sound proof room to keep kids in, so when you pass out (after, you find the keys to the liquor cabinet) no one can hear them yelling for a bathroom break! I sound experienced huh? Oh, and duct tape is great but clear tape is better in case someone comes over......they can't see the tape on thier mouths! |
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Now, thats a babysitter.
 Hi ya Tazz
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Now, thats a babysitter.
Hi ya Tazz
Hello!
I figured my expereince may help some other poor soul who might be tearing thier hair out at this point and it has only been 5 minutes since the kids where dropped off! 
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Yes, ma'am, just as long as you lots of tape and bubble wrap
OMG,,will you two babysit me? 
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I am going to amend my guide (with credits to you), thanks {{{tazz}}}
 Bad_girl, you forgot two REALLY important things!!!!!!!! 1. A TV with continuous play for cartoons. (For the kids.) 2. A sound proof room to keep kids in, so when you pass out (after, you find the keys to the liquor cabinet) no one can hear them yelling for a bathroom break! I sound experienced huh? Oh, and duct tape is great but clear tape is better in case someone comes over......they can't see the tape on thier mouths! |
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Yes, ma'am, just as long as you lots of tape and bubble wrap
OMG,,will you two babysit me?
and a marker to tell you THIS END UP
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Oh, I love it and that will be added to the list as well, thanks {{ell}}
Yes, ma'am, just as long as you lots of tape and bubble wrap
OMG,,will you two babysit me?
and a marker to tell you THIS END UP
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Yes, ma'am, just as long as you lots of tape and bubble wrap
OMG,,will you two babysit me?
and a marker to tell you THIS END UP
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Edited by
bad_girl
on
Mon 10/13/08 11:25 AM
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OKAY FOLKS, HERE IS AN AMENDED GUIDE FOR ALL MY FOLKS TO READ AND ENJOY
Here are my well earned rights as a bonafide babysitter, rules for proper babysitting, not necessarily to be used in the order written or all at once (or yes can be), whichever you choose:
1. Lots and lots of 2-liter bottles of coke (must be the real thing, not decaf or diet) a. To perform loud belches b. To release lots and lots of butt gas (disclaimer: not responsible for smell, have lots of air freshener handy)
2. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet and have an extra set around your neck 3. Changes of underwear and slippers for those accidental pissing bouts you may encounter 
4. Bottles and bottles of Benadryl (for allergic reactions and sleep deprived nights) **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet** 5. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 6. Fast moving ceiling fans (must be able to hold at least 130 pounds while spinning in mid-air) **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**
7. Plenty of paper towels to clean up mess from #1 above **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**
8. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 
9. Rolls and rolls of duct tape (assorted colors, I found that the kids are attracted to bright colors, thanks Patti  ) **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**
Suggestion from Tazz (thanks Tazz), clear tape so visitors can't see the tape on their mouths 10. Reams and reams of bubble wrap (thanks Connie ) so when they roll across the floor, they pop loud (hey, you need to enjoy it as well) and don't break furniture and fine glassware as they hit it **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**
Suggestion from peekinin (thanks Ell), a black marker so you will know which "END" is "UP"
11. Plenty of paint to hide the marks from the duct tape  **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**
12. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet
13. When you decide to babysit, make sure it is in a state where school is open 365 days a year (minus 1 day for religious observance)  **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**
14. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet 
15. Teach the kids these simple phrases: a. Yes ma'am (or sir) b. Yes ma'am (or sir) c. Yes ma'am (or sir) 16. Plenty of band-aids/antiseptic cream in case the kids scrape their knuckles/knees/hands/faces trying to break free from the duct tape restraints **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**
17. You must be able to run faster than the children you are babysitting  **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**
18. Make sure you know how to cook, kids like to eat  **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**
19. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet
20. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet
21. A sound proof room to keep kids in, so when you pass out (after, you find the keys to the liquor cabinet) no one can hear them yelling for a bathroom break! (Kudos again Tazz)**looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet** 22. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet
*****PLEASE REMEMBER THESE RULES WILL NOT WORK WITH ALL KIDS, JUST SOME
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one question where are the keys to the liquor cabinet?
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Oh I can see you will be an awesome babysitter
one question where are the keys to the liquor cabinet? |
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Oh I can see you will be an awesome babysitter one question where are the keys to the liquor cabinet?
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and kids love the dancing banana
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PATTI, COME HERE QUICK
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what happened did the kids get the keys to the liquor cabinet?
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what happened did the kids get the keys to the liquor cabinet? |
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quick show them the dancing banana
distract them and get the keys back
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Too late, they found them
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oh well they will pass out shortly then you can get the keys back
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did they tie you up and take away your liquor cabinet key?
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