Cutie - hope things calm down for you soon. stress does wear on you, I know.

Amber - good that you brought it out in the open. Maybe you could stay with friends until things calm down, but your stepdad was in the wrong, not you, so hopefully the dust will settle soon and things will calm down.

Roy - you have a hard job. I always go in the nursing home and try to be friendly will all I see, but I do get cussed out now and then by some of the nastier ones, yikes, "let me out of there." I understand they can't help it but after 10 years of constant abuse and putdowns by my ex, it makes it hard for me to take, even from someone who is elderly and half out of their mind. I could never do that job on a permanent basis. Give me a computer job anyday. Kudos to you and others who do that work.

I have been depressed these past few weeks. Found out the jerk that I have been talking to for 10 weeks now was just playing me along, was dating someone on the side the past few months and didn't have the guts to tell me. I was stupid enough to buy into his fantasy of how we may be able to work things out, etc., even called me honey, and we talked virtually every night, so I am still licking my wounds over that. Can't believe how stupid I was - 10 whole freaking months, damn. Some people never learn. I obviously don't. Anyways, he finally admitted it right after my surgery, started pushing me away at my birthday, 04/05, and my surgery was 04/10, and found out about a week or so later, so nice to know he can be supportive of me when I need it too, selfish skank. Sorry, I am still angry obviuosly. Take care and have a good day tomorrow. Happy Mother's day to all and those who work have a good day. Take care.

Sorry that happened to you, Marie. I know since I am older now that like the physical pains seem to take longer to deal so do the emotional ones. Just friendship is what I am trying to keep with people. It is hard enough to keep a pet alive much less a relationship right now. I would want to be a better housekeeper before I would to bring another person into my life. In the last three years I sure have had to learn things. One thing is that you can't treat people like disposable items. I try not to hurt others. Sounds like the guy was hedging his bet. I sure can understand why you are angry. Instead of just having one relationship what seems to be working for me is to have a lot of friendships.

Fear, sorry to hear about your pet. I know how dear they are to your heart. Im glad he's not in pain anymore too.

Cutie, I hope that things can be worked out in someway and that your roomate will back up a bit.

Roy you are a saint with those who need you and have a wonderful outlook on everything. I know you are human and have bad days too, but you bounce back very well, and make us laugh and cry with your stories of life. Lessons and partience.

Amber! GOOD FOR YOU GF! Get er done. I know it is stressful but remember that sometimes we have to suffer through the stress to get to the good stuff. Hopefully this will bring things out and something will be done about this serious problem. Don't back down. Stand your ground and you know where I am if you need to talk.

Marie, I am so sorry about this prick who has been leading you on. You have so much on your plate already. Im sorry you have to go through this. I have a similar situation going on here except it has been going on here for about 2 yrs now.
I did meet someone else though. The potential is there and I do hope things take a turn for the better with my love life. his name is Ivan. He does the work around here and is part owner, like a silent partner with my lnadlord.
He got me a air conditioner for my bedroom and a ceiling fan for my front room and fixed my gate and fence so the dogs cant get out and I can open my gate without having to feel like Im moving mount everest.
He is tall dark handsome and used to be a NY cop until 9-11. He is also going to night school to get his electrician's lic.....he is brash, outward and "busts my chops" alot in jest but I am finding I like him more and more.
He is 38 and his kids are all grown up too. We have the freedom to explore things at our own pace without too much drama. Wish me luck on this. He just could be the one.

Karen, I've decided to let my mom know what's going on and i finally told her husband not to email me anymore.

you all takecare, i wont be coming back in this thread, no one mentions my name, so its for the best.

i wish you ALL well, takecare

Im glad you are taking care of business Amber. It really does sound like it is for the best. I know it is stressful, but I believe that in the end, things will be better. Might take a while since famliy affairs can be the worst, but if it makes this a-hole leave you alone and your mom and you are able to move in together, then that would be a great result.

Karen, I am glad I have my meetings where it tells me that, "We aren't saints." With my problem of rage eating at me sometimes it is like, "Kill them all and let God sort them out." And if they don't believe in God then kill them first because they don't have the common decency to believe in God. And if I miss any like the Christians I don't feel so bad because I can always let the lions take care of them. It is like hey lions get hungry, too. I have went to extremes with rage. The first time I vented with this other nurse who is an Aquarian nurse I can remember cussing, yelling, screaming when she finally got me to open up. It was her fault of course. She asked me what was on my mind and why was I being so quiet. She is smarter now and doesn't ask that stupid question. I don't think she really wants to know now. We have had many vent sessions and I am a lot calmer now. It really feels good not to be postal all the time. I haven't felt the need to kill any body in a long time. Life is peaceful, today.

Yeah Roy. I've had my bouts with rage and anger. Before I was medicated properly, I would fly off the handle no matter where I was and mostly at my family since they would take it more readily than others, but almost got my ass in trouble lots of times.
I have found that it solves nothing and from some of the posts I've made in this and other threads, you might know that I still lose it sometimes. But never to the extreme I used to. That's why I left my last ex.
Everything was ok in that dept.....we talked, yelled and argued, but there was no throwing or hitting or intimidation. Once he did that, I went to his level and all hell broke loose.
I was gone within a month and have been here where I am ever since. I see no reason to jump back into another relationship, although there is someone I would like to date. So I understand. Only ever wanted to kill one person and I though considering my age and condition at the time, I did very well in the selfcontrol dept.......lol

That is awesome that you don't want to jump into another relationship. Out of the frying pan and into the fire just gets one back into the mess again. Rage is just so addictive to me. I just had to curb my appetite for it. What is so cool about this nurse with is that she has the same name as my ex. I have to tell myself that she isn't my ex and is married. My problem with my ex is the truths that she would argue with. I couldn't handle her truth. It really would piss me off. I just couldn't handle the truth. The problem was I didn't know it was the truth at the time. The truth hurt so damn bad that when we argued I would have to twist her words around and get her so confused that she would just have to back off with it. By the time I got to treatment I was so full of rage, guilt and remorse from running away from her and my son that I almost went insane. She was just so damn perfect that I couldn't live with her. I had all these faults and she knew them. I just wished she had some faults. It really sucked to be human. It took two divorces but I finally got rid of her and her perfect world.

Well, you and I both know there is no one who is perfect, nd a perfect world is not reality. It is a disguise and you can't lt that fool you either. That was her little bubble and you had yours. She popped yours and for good reason, but did you pop hers? Sounds like you don't know. Do you think she lived dreamland? That can cause soem real hurt feelings. I popped my own bubble a long time ago, and you seem to have a grip on yours, but my ex was none too happy when I popped his. Hopefully it helped him in the relationship he is in now. From what Ive heard there could be children involved now so, I hope it worked.

oh yeah....i'm gonna be pressing charges too

Yeah, thats true, Karen. The world was so perfect but then humans came along and just screwed it up for the rest of us.

amen to that!!!!

My ex and her boyfriend are doing fine. It has been over a year since I seen her last. It was nice and friendly the first 15 minutes. Then it was time to leave.

i probably couldn't be around my ex even that long....

I was finally able to confront my friend at work. She sold me this van I have been trying to fix up. In Arkansas the art of horse trading is learned. Some like to sell old vehicles knowing that they are lemons and that is why they sell it to get rid of it. What happens is you just drive the hell out of vehicle and pass it to the person who you sell it, too. I have to admit the radio did work well and it is a gas saver since it is a 4 cylinder. What bothered me was after I bought the vehicle was all the things I found wrong with it and she said she didn't know all that stuff was wrong with it. I got my point across when I told her happy mother's day you mother. She said I didn't have to say it like that but I got my point across.

I would have said a lot more than that. You got more control than I do Roy.

Only 3 more days of school. THen it is whineing time......"I'm Bored!"

Whats funny is I gave her a hug and she punched me in the arm, Karen. Double entendres. You got to love them. She got both my meanings. Missed my nephew's funeral and the mother's day dinner my brothers and sisters threw for my mom. So I am in the dog house, again. What else is new? Caught the guilt trip from hell from my mom a little while ago. But I am going to do like my one brother is going to do. I am going to take her to a special dinner when I get paid. It was quiet at mom's house. Since my nephew passed away all the nurses and aides are gone who were taking care of my nephew. He was in a coma for for 13 years since he was three. The trailer fire took his sister. I know it is going to be a hard time for mom since she raised him as her own for 17 years. She is 72 and she was telling me it would for her to find a job at that age. Said she would have to get use to living on $500 a month instead of the $300 a week she was getting for being a supervisor for the care team in the 24/7 hour watch for my nephew. I took the wrong alternator belt out of the van and my cousin put the bracket for the tensioner like it was suppose to go in there. I just had to buy 2 new belts and tighten everything back up. The low voltage light went out after I jump started the van off my car. I just couldn't take any more funerals. Having the funeral home across the street from my job is enough for me. I hope you are doing okay in school.

i'f anyone need support for depression or Bipolar , I'm always a message away , ill listen and try and help the best way can ,

cause i have Bipolar.