looked at id to see where u are at looong way from me...

hea no fair im supposed to be the only big guy here...lol...welcome
dude..

pull up a stool and take a load off herewego... ..

sometimes wish there was sumthin to do in this rinky dink town...

hi iam..

im doin as well as can be expected sittin on puter on saturday...lol

3.79 a pound im gonna be damn near rich..lol...

Hello everybody...

ummmm how much is meat goin for??... ..

A couple with their young son, Little Johnny, decided to spend a day at
a nude beach. After an hour in the sun, the father went for a walk
while Little Johnny played in the water.

After a while Little Johnny came up to his mother and said, "Mommy, I
saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"

The mother said, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."

So Little Johnny went back to play. Minutes later Little Johnny
returned and said, "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than
daddy's.

The mother said the same thing, "The bigger they are, the dumber they
are."

So the boy went back to play. Several minutes later Little Johnny ran
back to his mother and said,"Mommy, I just saw daddy talking to the
dumbest lady I ever saw, and the more he talked, the dumber he got!"

The teacher of a first grade class gives instructions to the little boys
on how to go to the bathroom.

The teacher tells them the following:
One - unzip your zipper
Two - pull your pecker out
Three - stroke the skin back
Four - take a pee
Five - stroke the skin forward
Six - put it away and zip up the zipper

So the boys go to do their thing and return a few minutes later. The
teacher asks, "Where is Little Johnny?"

One of the boys replies "He is still in the bathroom."

The teacher goes down the hall to the boy's restroom and hears Little
Johnny "Three, Five, Three, Five, Three, Five............"

A man was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his
4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole
event. The man thought, "Great, he's 4 and I'm gonna have to start
explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the gun - I'll just let
him ask, and I'll answer."

After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said,
"Well son, do you have any questions?"

"Just one." gasped the still wide-eyed Little Johnny. "How fast was that
calf going when he hit that cow?"

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what
are those things on your chest?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells
Johnny to ask his at dad breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter
would be forgotten.

Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same
question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why
Johnny,those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and
she'll float to heaven."

Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnny's dad comes home from work a few hours early.
Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's
dying!"

His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?"

"Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy's balloons and she's screaming, "Oh
God, I'm coming!"

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She
started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand
up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do
you think you're stupid, Little Johnny? "No, ma'am, but I hate to see
you standing there all by yourself!"
LITTLE JOHHNY XXI
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on
her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself
beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a
tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

LITTLE JOHHNY XXII
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that her students
might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas
season emphasis on His birth. She wanted to make sure they understood
that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc.
So she asked her class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand
and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my
heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know!
I know! He's in our bathroom!!!" The whole class got very quiet, looked
at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at
a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, she gathered her wits and
asked Little Johnny how he knew this. Little Johnny said, "Well...every
morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells,
"Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!"

LITTLE JOHHNY XXIII
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in
class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and
44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon
Network!"

LITTLE JOHHNY XXIV
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten
class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created
out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him
lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going
have a wife."

LITTLE JOHHNY XXV
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local
police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of
the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture
and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the
policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little
Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

LITTLE JOHHNY XXVI
It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in grades
and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless
because of this. The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask
first and correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to
himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the
question."
The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln."
The teacher said "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny was MAD that Susie had answered the question first.
The teacher asked another question, "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King".
The teacher said, "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny was even madder than before.
The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for
you'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John F. Kennedy".
The teacher said, "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny was BOILING mad that he had not been able to answer to any of the
questions.
Then the teacher turned her back and Johnny said, "I wish these *****es
would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turned around and asked, "WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny said, BILL CLINTON, CAN I GO NOW?"

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in
class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and
44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon
Network!"

Little johnnys a classic man been around longer than me...

A grade school teacher in Tennessee asked her students to use the
word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My
family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his sheep. It was
fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word
fascinate, not fascinating."
Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to Graceland and I
was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to
use the word fascinate, not fascinated."
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she
had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was
no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him.
Little Johnny said, "My Aunt Gina has a shirt with ten buttons, but
her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."
The teacher cried.

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents
for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She
shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some
flowers!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift.
She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a
box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, Little Johnny.
The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop
with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," Little Johnny answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it champagne?"
she asked.
"No," he answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
Little Johnny replied, "A puppy!"

Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going
into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane
kissing.
Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he
runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly. "MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS
AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND..."
Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story.
So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car
go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving
Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt
Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the
seat, then Daddy..."
At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an
interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I
want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He
describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the
seat, and, "then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle
Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said 6.
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'
"What's the fuXXing difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"

Little Johnny's teacher says, "Class, today we are going to learn
multi-syllable words. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"

Little Johnny raises his hand, "Me, Miss Finch!"

Miss Finch turns towards the eager young lad, "All right, Little
Johnny, what is your multi-syllable
word?"

Little Johnny says, "Mas-tur-bate".

Miss Finch smiles and says, "Well, little Johnny, that sure is a
mouthful!".

Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Finch, you're thinking of a blowjob".