Topic: Johnny in school...
Hoss34's photo
Sat 03/03/07 03:06 AM

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She
started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand
up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do
you think you're stupid, Little Johnny? "No, ma'am, but I hate to see
you standing there all by yourself!"
LITTLE JOHHNY XXI
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on
her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself
beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a
tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

LITTLE JOHHNY XXII
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that her students
might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas
season emphasis on His birth. She wanted to make sure they understood
that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc.
So she asked her class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand
and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my
heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know!
I know! He's in our bathroom!!!" The whole class got very quiet, looked
at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at
a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, she gathered her wits and
asked Little Johnny how he knew this. Little Johnny said, "Well...every
morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells,
"Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!"

LITTLE JOHHNY XXIII
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in
class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and
44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon
Network!"

LITTLE JOHHNY XXIV
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten
class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created
out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him
lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going
have a wife."

LITTLE JOHHNY XXV
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local
police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of
the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture
and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the
policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little
Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

LITTLE JOHHNY XXVI
It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in grades
and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless
because of this. The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask
first and correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to
himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the
question."
The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln."
The teacher said "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny was MAD that Susie had answered the question first.
The teacher asked another question, "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King".
The teacher said, "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny was even madder than before.
The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for
you'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John F. Kennedy".
The teacher said, "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny was BOILING mad that he had not been able to answer to any of the
questions.
Then the teacher turned her back and Johnny said, "I wish these *****es
would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turned around and asked, "WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny said, BILL CLINTON, CAN I GO NOW?"


goosefraba's photo
Sat 03/03/07 03:13 AM
those were way to funny man lololololololololol