I can't relate myself. I guess when I see things are not going the correct way, I leave, break up, move on with my life. Yes I am a guy at the same time I think why stay in something that is not good or healthy?

Women can be abused in some situations, like maybe if they are locked in a basement, chained up, no way out. But for the other 99 percent who are or still in an abusive relationship they are there by free choice.

Women feel they can't move on, either are married have kids, they have a false sense of hopelessness. Low self esteem or mental health issues.

In life everyone has a choice. You choose your path, your walk, and what you do.

this is not a personal defect of the woman

or not choosing something.

our choices are stolen from us and dangled in front of us like a donkey with a carrot. always out of reach. always uphill.

I have read many posts about people who have been abused, or cheated on, or beat, ect... ect.. Its sad but unless they were chained to a basement the end result is they took that path that caused them that pain.

It wasn't so much physical with me but everything that went wrong was my fault. No matter when it happened. I was never good enough. I wasn't treating him the way he ought to be treated. I wasn't raising our kids right. The list goes on and on. I was in a size 12 when I met him. I shot up to a size 22 by the time I told him to leave.

Speaking personally, in a relationship and not in just war, sure. I have. With my children also. Including a near successful attempt to murder me. We learn. We adapt. We move on. We are more limited and less limited simultaneously, if we learned.

I am really sorry that you had to endure that suffering. He sounds like a sick man.
That is definately not normal the things he did to you. I hope you will soon be able to move on with your life.