easy yes methinks

pete throwing off that hat

i love this elf. he came from lord of the rings and he's my hero. he comes other places too

post some of your stuff

and thanks starttraveler plz pray for me but mostly for the 2 little boys involved

love u guys

thanks samara

i know it seems so simple from the outside but remember that these men orchestrate elaborate plans to keep their women

1. feeling incompetent/bad
2. dependent


so i've defeated both, and it's just a matter of time but the insecurity permeates my life--as you saw with my obsession about my pics i'm scared everyone sees me as he does.

whew i wasn't ready to delve into this mess...but i guess it happened anyway.

let me just put it this way. i agree. i am not falling for his 'fake niceness' when it so rarely rears its head, and i made this decision 2 years ago when counseling didn't work. but 2 kids and financial dependence is a hard load to kick.

let me get u all to understand; he is on probation he will not do a thing to me UNLESS I LEAVE. so in leaving i am putting myself most at risk, so like i said things have to be taken care of with careful planning and support.

yes i can, and i even know the deputy who will, but moving out of a controlling man's house is like dropping a bomb on him, that's how alot of women get hurt--the guy can't handle that she left him and he stalks her, so i have to have everything in place before i go, so i will need nothing from him, and immediately get a restraining order.

EXACTLY he keeps me FINANCIALLY dependent so that i need him. he doesn't share any money and the only thing i get are occasional deodorant, soap and toothbrush. i have really old clothes too. he likes to keep me looking bad to the world.

it's part of his plan i think.

i am working on getting income from various sources, and working on my education/career skills, but both babies are at home right now which is another way he traps me because i have those boys.

he doesn't hit me since his last arrest in 2004 but he isn't kind and doesn't share.

i have help and have connected with the abused women's shelter and all sorts of resources it's just about getting him out of the house long enough to move now.

thanks for your advice guys i will take it to heart and thanks for reassuring me i'm okie dokie

pictures are important because i'm NOT going to meet anyone. i have no intention to. so pictures are all there is, until i get my new apartment and out of this bad/unhealthy rel.

i have kids, and worry about how i look to others, having three kids really put a burden on my body and mind. the guy i'm with makes me feel really really bad about myself and never says anything nice to or about me, so after five years of giving to my kids and the abusive (before, physically) bf, i am unsure of myself.

or in other words, it was the wife and he didn't do this on his own accord? like one day just decided to stop. you think something precipitated the end? Busted...you said, before.

it's just self esteem; that's what this is about. should i, in the future NOT send these pictures if i meet someone i like (NOT MARRIED OR INVOLVED--that was an isolated incident) ppl ask me for pictures, friends, and i want to know should i NOT send these?

it's not really about him, persay, yeah he was fun and nice and everything, but if it was any guy i reconnected with from the past. like a high school reunion, u know?

well thanks for your input

****never to do again****

take the marriage part out of it. we're getting off topic of the idea. it could be any guy i went to school with. not this particular guy...you see what i mean?

yes yes i knew i'd get the lecture on that and i agree; but just trying to make sense of it.

and you can be brutally honest; i can take it. if it is me, i want to know. i want to know if those pictures suck.

let me rephrase my question, what would you think of me if let's say you were a friend of mine from long ago and we reconnected. like would you think...eww she's (fill in the blank) and determine that time has not been kind? or i look mean or what?

ur right; i always have free will; what i meant to say is it got out of control