Very good- I like the way you write...
Always right to the point.
Mah-ve-lous Dah-ling! !!

Thank you all. Its the first Ive written in a while.
Felt good to get all that "out" WHEW!

I'd see your face my heart would pound
As you moved close without a sound
But you'd get near and I would freeze
I'd feel the tremble in my knees.
Mouth would go dry before the kiss
How will I ever escape from this
the fear that grips me as we bloom
I feel overwhelming sense of doom
You assure me and I relent
Give in to time so passionately spent
Then I regret and have remorse
Im caught in limbo blown way off course

I panic when I feel my heart
want to share and never part.
Will you hit me, will you cheat
My self esteem will you beat?
Do you belittle when your mad
How will you take my tears if sad?
Im almost sure looking at you
But then more doubts-I thought I knew.
Now Im confused -dont trust my choices
I wish I could shut up these voices
They lie to me and tell me things
My mind brings back pain stings.

How will I ever make it through
Do you love me? I thought I knew.
Life in shackles, my heart is bound
And my feet on unstable ground
Yet your kindness lures me in
You're so gentle my faithful friend
But back and forth my feelings go
Tossed in emotion to and fro
Wanting love but I can't commit
I feel insane lost in a pit.
A past of anger, fists of rage
Im like a tiger trapped in a cage.

Are you the one who'll set me free?
How much longer will you tolerate me?
Do I test to see if you will-
Understand and be there still?
Will my heart grow ever faint
Til Im parted from my saint-
Missing a love thats forever true
SOmeone tell me -I thought I knew
I feel an aching in my chest
Lay down at night but I cant rest
Its no fun living this way
Filled with panic and dismay-

Good morning everyone and Happy Monday!!!
Going to head out to work and check back in later...

Abracadabra...
I do not go to church to find God either. He lives in my heart. The problem with going to church to find God is most ppl leave Him there when they go. He should be with us. After all, His children ARE the church- Not some building. A building is a building.
God is with me in my home, my car everywhere I go....
I am less likely to act like a "goober" if I rememebr He goes with me and sees everything I do. LOL

You have truly captured in words that tangled feeling that can
be with us from the past.
But you can be free due to your willingness to move on towards a future.
Excellent emotional perception....
Bravo!!!
GEL

Right on Tx gal. There are many things as a child I wouldve changed back then, but now I know I am a survivor and a fighter.
Others can look at me and say to themselves I dont have to let my past rule or dictate my future.
I am a bright, determined young lady with alot to offer. I consider myself compassionate and I might not have become the person I am today without the struggles Ive been thru. Frankly I like who I am today. There was a time I couldnt say that.
Odly enough Its ok for me to be alone now. Alone doesnt have to mean lonely. Somethings we run from in fear will eat us alive. Courage doesnt mean your not afraid it just means you face your obstacles in spite of that fear. Once you face them they no longer have control over you.
And she lived happily ever after.

I do believe in God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit.However I also you must do more than "just" believe...I mean even Satan believes in Jesus. They have met face to face.
While it is important not to shove something down ppls throats they dont want- and trust me alot of wierd and crappy things have been done in the name of "Christianity" or some other religion, It is what you do, how you live and the way you not only carry yourself but treat others.

My goal is for others to see what I have, know I am different (not in a creepy way) and want what it is I am Blessed with.
Until then I only share verbally when asked I let my heart and my actions speak for themselves.

Life is good! Going to be meeting a fella I have been writing with since May 1, next weekend. He is a good ols southern gentleman and I am really excited to see how things go i person. We have built a good foundation thru writing and phone calls... so one can never tell...(crossing fingers)

Thanks LA-its good to see you ..
Have an awesome day!

Our eyes meet and smiles soon follow
Anticipation of tonight is too much.
As the setting sun turns into tomorrow
I know Ill be free'd by your touch...
With whispers gently carressing my hair
And your hands grazing over my skin-
It's ONLY you who can take me "there"
Much further than I've ever been.
So naturally Loves interlude plays
As passion takes over the night
I could stay wrapped in your arms for days
Nothing before has ever felt so right-
My long hair falls around your face
Our kisses- soft, lingering and wet
There is no breaking this sweet embrace
We're as solid as two hearts can get.
Your hands on my flesh tell me its ok
The way my body quivers for you
Says let loose and love you all the way.
In The way only true lovers do...
Its not about sex thats not it at all-
Its love, true love that we're making.
Ever concerned with what we can give
And not at all focused on taking.
A perfect union between bodies is ours
Our hearts and minds joined as one
And we will be touching and loving for hours
Before it is all said and done.
So while you watch me undress my dear
And I start to move in your direction
Let me say It's already clear
To love you will be sheer perfection
Slide up next to me perfectly still
And lay with your hand in mine.
We can love till we've had our fill
You know perfection takes time...
As I drink in your body I want it all
Theres no need to mince words I swear
I've longed for you and heard your call
We're gonna make the perfect pair.
So as we take the night by storm
Creating the love we desire
Theres no stopping what's taking form
There is no quenching this fire.
Everyone sees what we have begun
Its hard to hide from detection-
Just let it show us what we've won
By giving in to this perfection....

Welcome to JSH Steve, Its good to see a new face...You will find alot of support here and make good friends.I have found it to be a wonderful place.
Being yourself is the best thing you can do...and remember You deserve only the best life has to offer.So dont take less than that.
Have an awesome day!!
GEL

Arriba,
There are always things in life we cannot understand. SOmethings just dont seem fair...Like you alot of times I would be angry with God...But Trust HIM...He has something much better for you.Apparently that job wasnt good enough for you...
If you truly believe in God and trust in Him you are HIS child..a child of the King. and the Kings kids deserve the finest.
I am sorry you got disappointed. That did sound like it was a position you would've done well at.Before you know it tho you will be thanking Him for not letting you into that job because something more amazing has happened.
After all look at all the other great things in your life.

That is too funny....

You'd think I worked in "baggage claims" I get all the guys who
still want to carry all their excess crap around...

Nope not for me, you'll find me at the snack bar thank you very much....

Tossed my bags a long time ago and I aint carrying yours...

I love razor stubble in the nape of my neck it really drives me crazy!!

I wrote this today for my "cowboy"

Looking in the mirror at herself
She's not sure of what she sees-
Oh sure the sea is calm right now
She questions what brews inside of me?
Clear blue sky and theres just a breeze
Its a perfect, perfect day
But You never know when her clouds
Will come and darken up this day.

See she changes like the weather
Unpredictable as a storm
One minute she is frosty cold
The next minute she's much too warm
A tiny ship could be capsized
Out in her blust-er-y seas
Even though she cant be figured out
He knows she is just what he needs.

She seems to need protection
From what ever would do her harm
And tho she fights like a Lion
I guess thats all part of her charm
Yet she purrs just like a kitten
Glows like an Angel in the night
He knows what ever he tries to do
He'll spend forever in this fight.

Because she changes like the weather
He wouldnt have it any other way-
He doesnt want to figure her out
He only wants for her to stay;
She's been tossed out and forgotten
ANd her hearts been broken for so long
And tho she changes like the weather
In his eyes- she can do no wrong.

He only wants the chance to love her-
To show that he's not like the rest
And if it takes him forever
He gonna give this girl his best
Cause there is something in her eyes
That tells him shes the one
And he'll wonder in her driving rain
Just to bask out in her sun-

Because she changes like the weather
Doesnt mean that she dont feel
All it takes to make a love thats strong
A forever that is real
He'll take all of her storm clouds
He'll take all of her snow-
It dont matter what the day holds
He'll go wherever she wants to go.

A great friend told me once "Pain is a great motivator for change"
It is very true- Only I could change my life. Happiness comes from within. No other person can give it to us. They may enhance what we already have or compliment it. But we must love ourselves before anyone else can see the real us.

You told me a secret
SOmthing that I never knew.
Then you told me several more
before our talk was thru.
I just listened As I would want
From you my treasured friend
And I felt deep compassion
But our friendship wont end.
I love you for who you are
not for anything you've done
I accept you faults and all
And the victories you've won
I'd stand with you right on the edge
As you were looking down'
When everyone has walked away
I'm the one who'll be around
You told me a secret
I'll protect it to my grave
If you were in trouble
I'd give my last breath to save
Every litte second into your memory
So you would never be alone
And I could keep you company
You told me a secret
Now let me tell you mine
Your not only my best friend
But I'll love you till the end of time.