I leave all the hiring and firing to you and your assistant Jack. If you want a third opinion send them to my office.

Wow! Thanks Guys! I forgot all about hiring bouncers. Jack, I will leave that to you. So many details, I am getting stressed out. I'm going to my office, have a drink and lay down for a little while. I sure could use a massage. Have your assistant see if any of the girls want to work on the side giving massages. I could use one right about now.

You are promoted to manager and director of public relations with salary, affordable health care and stock options with a 404k investment option. You can keep your bartender duties also. Hire yourself a female assistant right away to manage the waitresses and dancers. Oh, I will look for a junk RV to park in the back lot for your office. You can hold your interviews in it.

Oh and btw, quit using my office for your interviews. I am getting tired of the spilled drinks on my couch and wiping up the other stains.

Do we need to build a room addition for the lap dances or where do you think we can set aside for that?

* When you interview, find out which of the babes are interested in performing lap dances. You decide if they need a "try out", I will leave that to your excellent judgement on an "as need" basis. If you think you need a second opinion on their abilities, send them to me.

* I like your idea on the burnouts, lets have them in the front lot by the street, should attract customers.

* How about a "sign spinner" out front? Of course, they will have to wear a top. Probably a T-back swimsuit would be ok. Get back to me on this.

* On the 30th. we need to have an investors meeting to go over the financials. Figure out how many hostesses you think we will need for the meeting.

*** THIS SUNDAY IS MY BIRTHDAY, JAN. 26th.!!! WE WILL PLAN THAT FOR OUR GRAND OPENING! So hire a female assistant manager right away to help plan for this combined event. (it really is my birthday). We have a lot of work to do in the next few days. Oh, hire some porn actresses for the Grand Opening, one day only.

* Do you think we should run porn movies on the flat screen tv's when there are no games on? Or, MTV? You and your assistant get back to me on this.

* Get ahold of the local radio and tv stations, get out some press releases announcing our GRAND OPENING. Place some full page ads in the local biker magazines.

* The Neon Cowboy Bar over on hwy 52 is closed. See if we can buy the rights to their name. We will re-open as The New Neon Cowboy. Call our attorney, let him check on that.

* What is your opinion of starting wet t-shirt contests? The girls could pass around cowboy hats for collections, 1st, 2nd, 3rd place splits.

HELP WANTED:

BARTENDERS

HOURS: NEGOTIABLE

see Jack at the bar

HELP WANTED:

BARBACK

see Jack at the bar

HELP WANTED:

POLE DANCERS: GREAT TIPS, LONG HOURS, NO TIME OFF ALLOWED;

JOB DESCRIPTION - REQUIREMENTS: NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY, MUST HAVE BIG . .

see Dave or Jack in the back room for audition

HELP WANTED:

TOPLESS WAITRESSES NEEDED, GREAT TIPS, LONG HOURS. NO TIME OFF PERMITTED.

MUST FURNISH OWN G-STRING UNIFORM AND BOOTS

see Dave or Jack in the back room to apply

Hey! Someone go put some more quarters in the Jukebox!

Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun. nite ONLY. ~SPECIAL~

Free pitchers for all Pole Dancers!

Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun nites ONLY. ~SPECIAL!

Free drinks for all Biker Broads and Rowdy Cowgirl Babes that come in topless.

Wat'll ya' have Jack? Your first one's on the house. Yep, you got the job, shove a dirty towel in your belt and get to work.

I'm even gonna' offer you the position of honorary moderator of this stinkin' bar, just a trial ya' understand, see how you work out and how long ya' think ya' can last in here.

You have to put 10% of your tips in the tip pool, ya' understand?

You don't have to ride anything as long as you can crawl in the door unassisted.

But, horses must be left outside.

Coffee is fine with a shot of Jack Daniels as a chaser.

Any military vet in uniform receives free drinks and dinner on the house.

DaveCatalina ~ calls for the bouncer.

Free drinks for life if she rides a Harley and has meaningless sex with me.

Free drinks for the first Meaningless, Sexy, Beautiful, Martian Girl who comes in and keeps me company. I hate drinking alone in here.

Oh, David, do me a favor will you? Post something in the Cowboy and Biker Bar, Its pretty lonely in there and I hate drinking alone.

Na, I'm calling Indians meaningless for them to do that. Why? Are you a meaningless Martian? If so, what is your opinion? Do you need the Indians to send a spaceship to help you run your meaningless life? Maybe better if they come here. I can use some help with mine.

Actually, probably what I need to do is "get a life", then I can hire a Martian to help me run it. Whatta' ya' think? Make that a beautifull sexy Martian Girl.

The United States needs to DEPORT that ignorant idiot Justin Bieber back to Canada where he crawled from under a sewer.

Welcome. You are expected to buy a round your first visit. We'll decide if we want you to come back or just drag you by your legs around the parking lot.

Meaningless posts, head over to the Meaningless Thread.

Drunken posts go here.

Use the spittoon!

If you hurl, you clean it up.

When you pass out, we'll leave you lay where you drop.

All gunfights, knife fights, brawling, take it out in the street.

Anything you break, you pay for it.

No animals allowed.

See rule above before you bring your girlfriend/boyfriend in here.

Gambling permitted, 50% house fee on all games.

Tabletop dancing, stripping, nudity permitted. As long as you are good looking.

This is not BYOB, all food, drinks must be purchased on premisis.

Rooms available on 2nd. floor. Short time, 30 minute, hourly, daily, weekly, monthly rates.

Short pipes/stacks, stand close to urinal.

Full service available: See room rates. check with waitress for her availability.

Handicapped access.

Translators available with advance notice.

Enjoy!