Larson, do me a favor will 'ya? Have your Scottish bouncers keep an eye on those two young chicks that came in 20 minutes or so ago. The ones in the tight midrift tops and flip flops. I think they have already had too much before they got here. Don't need any trouble.

Oh, the two fat chicks over at table 18, they are ok, I know one, she's a hooker, she won't cause any trouble. The one in the tight jeans with the western belt buckle. (Larson, she's so fat, how in the hell does she get into those jeans?) OMG!

HELP: I keep getting a "420 FRIENDLY" ERROR message at the Govt. Health Care Website. I don't understand.

I'm getting a "420 FRIENDLY" ERROR MESSAGE from the Govt. Health Care Website. I don't understand.

Aww Man, Thanks Jack. I sure can use that. Looks like you have got everything under control. It is so hard to find good, honest, reliable help.

Go ahead if you want and lock the front doors, I'll check the back. I'm ready for that drink now.

You know, tomorrow is the big day, Grand Opening, looks like you have everything ready.

Tell you what, I've got an offer for you, think about it and after the financial meeting the 30th. you can let me know your decision.

I am offering you a full partnership. I am thinking of opening some more locations overseas in the Philippines. I need a good trustworthy partner to handle everything here stateside, maybe later join me overseas too if you want.

Give it some thought. Let me know. You know, with this economy, you would think it would be a lot easier to get good people, with so many out of work, I don't know, what do you think?

I didn't know you were into Coast to Coast AM Radio. I used to live just over the hill from Art Bell, there in Paharump. That was back in the days I was a blackjack and keno dealer at the Riverboat Landing. He and George I can't ever get enough of! I even like the new guy, Clyde Lewis on Ground Zero. It is hard to make any money in Vegas now, what with all the Indian Casinos. I remember the days when if you were dealing a hi roller poker table you could go home with a grand in tips for the nite. No more now.

If you want to bring your dog to work it is fine with me. As long as you aren't too worried about how much he drinks.

Anyway, thanks for being a bro I can trust.

What do you think about a contest? We can hold a photo contest for the best custom motorcycle. The winner gets a Custom Harley V-Rod. I think we can get other local merchants to sponsor along with the local Harley Dealer, they will get advertising as sponsors here. We can park it here right at the center end of the bar, rope it off. Have the contest run all year, announce the winner New Years Eve. That way we get almost a full year benefit out of it.

Do you think we can find room for a mechanical bull? I'll let you work on that one. It will play hell with our liabilaty insurance though.

Anyway, umm, I needed this Crown Royal, you're a good bro. Thanks!

I kinda' thought I might get slapped for that. I am stressed from all the pressure of this new venture and the Opening in only, less than 2 days now.

With your management abilities and experience anything you want is fine. We can't afford to loose you.

What do you think of planning some high fashion shows for major holidays? Would that be out of place in here, or would it maybe attract a new crowd?

Hey Jack, when you see the barback, be sure to tell him, every nite, after closing to buss all the ashtrays to the dishwasher so they will be clean and dry by 1:00 pm the next day.

Empty all the spittoons and wipe clean.

Keep the peanut dishes full all nite.

Spread fresh wood shaving and peanut shells on the floor before we open each day.

Thanks Larson, it's almost midnite, the place is just now starting to get crowded. Glad you are paying attention. Whadda' ya' think, you want to supervise all the bouncers? Course, you'll have to train the new ones.

How do you like the new assistant manager? She really looks good in her lavender g-string, matching knee hi boots and nothing else doesn't she?

Hey Jack! Can you mix us a couple of douche bags?

If you don't know that drink let me tell you.

I heard about it over at 2KidsMom's "meaningless" forum several days ago.

It seems like this really dirty, smelly bag lady stopped in at the bar over there last winter. Some guy at the other end of the bar said, "Who let that douche bag in here?" She overheard him and yelled at him, "I'll have you know I'm a respectable Lady and don't deserve to be insulted!"

So he apologized and told the bartender to give her a drink on his tab.

The bartender asked here what she wanted and she said, "Just give me a vinegar and water."

So anyway, they had this thread going over at 2kidsmom's "meaningless" forum about how drinking a glass of cider vinegar a day prevents kidney stones.

That's what a douche bag drink is: 6 ozs of cider vinegar, 6 ozs tequila or vodka or gin, dash bitters, dash tabasco, dash worchestershire, twist. On the rocks or straight up. Serve with a straw, airplane motion sickenss bag and dramamine.

We make it the house special? Ya' Think?

Oh, 2 Kids Mom and Jack, Sorry I called you David, Jack. All these new people, I will learn everyone's names. Just all the stress of this Grand Opening Comming and it's only 2 days away.

I meant Jack behind the bar. Not David.

I think I need a drink and go lay down for a few in my office. 2 Kids, would bring to me after Jack fixes one. Hell, have him fix one for all 3 of us, we can all use one.

I am proud to have you on our team. You do remember what the hostess uniforms are, right?

I understand, you don't want to dance or anything else, but as management I think you will have your hands full and have little time for serving drinks.

Uniforms are on page one under HELP WANTED:, TOPLESS WAITRESS, you have to furnish your own G-string and knee hi boots.

But, you are so pretty it is going hard to hire other girls. Well, that part is your job, hiring, training and managing the other girls.

My Goodness! I can hardly believe! I will tell David (behind the bar) that you are already hired as the assistant manager as soon as he comes in. It's still a little early tonite.

* Go ahead please and check thru the list on the press releases for Grand Opening on my Birthday Sunday 26th.

* Contact the biker magazines, you decide on which ones you think best and send checks for annual full page ads.

* Advise us on the investors meeting for the 30th.

* I would like for you to handle the dancers too if you are willing. Scheduling, Sick / Days Off time, girl things . . . cat fights.

THAT GIVES ME AN WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT PROMOTING SOME GIRL MUD, JELLO, WHIPPED CREAM WRESTLING EVENTS HERE? Do you think that would bring a big crowd?

I knew how intelligent you were by the second time I saw you. I did not know all your accomplishments. I just saw, you have MADE over 41,000 posts! WOW! BEAUTY AND BRAINS!

If David is ever sick, on vacation, or decides to leave you will move into Manager and moderator here.

With your experience and intelligence on our staff, I am a lot less worried now. I know, we can't help to make this bar successfull. When you are not too busy, ask me about becoming a full partner in the bar.

Thank you again!

Except for drunks, meaningfull posts are allowed here.

(catalina is still, seceretly hoping for a lap dance)

Hey!? I just dropped you off over at your "meaningless place", how did you get back here before me?

She had quite a few drinks before she left that biker bar over on the other side of town. I brought her over here on my Harley. Had to tie her on to keep her from falling off. She will be safe here, I know you guys and girls will look after her.

Ssshhhhhhh! The Gotham Police have undercover agents in the other place. One is sitting on top of pole#4.

Quote: from a different thread: True....Tru Dat...smile2 smokin


Hiiii(((((David)))))waving love the pixy.
Edited by 2KidsMom on Fri 01/24/14 05:33 PM

Wow Hi and Thanks 2 Kids Mom for stopping by the bar!

I have to thank you so much, you are the one who got me "hooked" here with your meaningless thread!

It is a real honor to have such a smart and classy Lady as you visit us down in the barrio! Please, feel free to visit anytime, always a complimentary drink for you.

If you ever want part-time or full time work, we will always have a pole for you!

Sincerely, it was great to see you. Thanks!

(I know . ., I know . . ., I said something meaningfull) I will seek treatment.

HI 2 KIDS MOM! I am so happy to see you here! You are the one who got me "Hooked" with your "Meaningless Thread" I can't thank you enough!

HEY EVERYONE! When you leave here, be sure to stop in at "meaningless thread" In this forum. I know she will love to have some "not meaningfull drunk posts"

2 Kids, did you stop by to apply for a job? We sure need all the help we can get. Especially from such a beautiful and intelligent Lady as you!

Whatever you earn in tips here, I will double for you. Sure hope you become a regular.

Can I count on a lap dance?

At least let me give you a ride home after closing time.

I just put in my profile, "66 year old man seeking 500 lb. Nigerian Male Gorillas who have photos that look like 22 year beautiful girls". I get lots of replies.

Even the ones who post a photo, 30% of the time it is not real. I may as well give in and start dating the gorillas. The only problem with that is, even the gorillas don't want to date me. They just want my real email add and my credit card info.

David, are you trying to Scam me? No more free lap dances from the girls for you over at the Cowboy and Bikers Bar.

It's not so much Spam as it's SCAMMERS! And, it's getting worst everywhere. All of the dating sites are prime targets.

The best thing you can do is REPORT THEM! Then BLOCK THEM!

The first thing you need to do is RECOGINIZE it the minute you see it.

Good example, and this is the standard one.

A foxy 25 year old woman "hits" on me! I'm 67 year old MALE! If it looks like a duck, it is a SCAMMER! A 500 lb. Nigerian Male Ape posting pictures of Miss World and telling ME "she" thinks I'm a "Hot Hunny"! That my friends is a SCAMMER!

Girls, back me up. Do you young beautiful girls want a date with me? (check my profile.) No, no, just be honest, I am not worried about you telling the truth. "Hell No, you wouldn't be seen on a date with me in McDonalsd, let alone holding hands at Clearwater Beach. Friends, sure, but a date with me? No, you don't want that.

And to clinch it up. Young beautiful girls don't need to ask old guys for a date. They already have pleanty of hot guys their age asking THEM for a date.

I pray I "survive" a lot more times before I die!

Soufie, I don't want to raise any wifes. Actually I'm available for adoption. I know, my oldest son (he's 25) has been praying that someone will adopt me. Oh, btw, we were talking about you over in the meaningless thread. Don't worry, it was very nice, rather neutral.

Someone please answer a 25 year old child's prayer, make my son happy and adopt ME.