Have you considered turn-offs for women? Or do you tend to instantly like or dislike a man without knowing why? There was a time when women were predominately concerned with making themselves more appealing to the opposite sex. But now that many women prefer to choose instead of being chosen, their preferences demand attention. Here are 10 turn-offs for women of all ages and stages of their relationships.

1. Being Ignored
Being ignored is one of the main things that turn women off. From the first day of a relationship until death, most women expect their partners to be attentive. Most women judge how important they are to their partner, by how much attention they receive when expressing their concerns and opinions or when asking for advice.

When men act as though other things are more important or more interesting, or when they casually dismiss something that is important to a woman, they are setting the tone for a rocky, if not short, relationship. And when men engage in the common ploy of showing interest during the beginning stages of a relationship and allowing it to dwindle as the relationship progresses, they usually find that the woman’s attraction for him takes a similar dive.

2. The Wannabe Big Shot
Women are appalled by men who talk a big game knowing they do not have the means to follow through. Almost every woman has encountered the guy standing at the bar, bragging intentionally-loud so that everyone can hear him. Or even worse, the guy who picks you up in a rented BMW, pretending he is the owner.

Men often convince themselves that all women are after the guys with the biggest and the best of everything. This becomes a motive for those men to paint colorful and fictitious pictures of themselves. But in reality, women find this behavior disgusting, so instead of making themselves attractive, these guys become female turn-offs.

3. Self-Admiration
Some women get dinner and a movie. Other women get dinner and an earful of self-admiration when they go out on a date with a guy. Men who waste women’s time by inviting them on dates so they can spend the evening glorifying themselves are truly a bore.

A woman sitting across the table listening to her date gab about his university GPA, his honors, the sports he played, his stellar performance at work, and his new investment ideas is usually not impressed. She is probably bored to death and hoping never to be sentenced to another date with him.

4. Preoccupation with Sex
Whether it is a first date or a 10-year marriage, women do not want to feel as though sex is all that men want from them.

During the beginning of relationships, most women do not want to hear sexually explicit stories or comments and they do not care to discuss their past performances. This proves true even when women are dressed seductively and, ironically, even if they have had or are willing to have a one-night stand.

In long-term relationships, women don’t want men’s interest to be switched on when they are sexually aroused and switched off after intimacy occurs. Most women want to be caressed, fondled, complimented and otherwise shown affection and intimacy, even when their partners are not seeking sexual gratification.

5. Chauvinism
Despite what women accomplish and contribute to society, there are still men who act as if they are the superior sex. These men have many ways of displaying their attitude. Some, for example, have a belittling title for every woman. The cashier is little lady. The waitress is darling. And the bartender is sweet cheeks.

Other men belittle women’s efforts to perform what they believe to be male tasks. For example, a man may say “this little lady cop pulled me over and had the nerve to write me a ticket.” Whatever the chauvinist behavior, it never fails to be a turn-off for women.

6. Expecting the Woman to Take Care of the Kids
Some men have the misconception that motherhood is something that comes naturally and that women want to devote their lives to child-rearing. On the contrary, many women are as focused on their goals, careers, and social lives as men and they prefer to share family responsibilities.

These women do not want to be left home feeding babies and changing diapers while their partners maintain their normal business and social lives. This is one of the female turn-offs that takes a serious toll on a relationship.

7. Paying too Much Attention to Other Women
Men who look at other women, who talk about the physical attributes of other women, or who are too flirtatious are not likely to appeal to women.

It does not matter whether the woman is on TV or lying on a beach virtually naked.

Women like men who are respectful enough to pretend they do not notice. Furthermore, when a man and woman go out and they can barely make their way through a bar or club without the man getting hugs, rubs, waves, and winks, the man is not likely to score points with his date.

8. The Not-So-Courteous Approach
Whistling, using slang, or grabbing a woman’s elbow to get her attention are a few of the many things that turn women off when they are approached by a man. Descent women expect men who are interested in them to approach them thoughtfully and respectfully. Women always prefer a gentleman.

9. Poor Grooming Habits
The appeal of sweaty athletes or grungy musicians proves the magic of television and glossy magazines. In real life, women are not generally attracted to wet bodies or the odors that accompany them. A jogger who runs into the convenience store for a sports drink and expects to get your phone number will probably get disappointed instead.

Beyond basic hygiene, many women are calling for more. Recently a radio talk shows topic was the double standard of appearance.

Most women who called in expressed displeasure and frustration at the fact that men want sleek, gorgeous women, yet they do not take care of themselves. Generally, men with pot bellies, dirty fingernails, and disheveled hair are turn-offs for women.

10. Bad Pick-Up Lines
A sense of humor can be a great thing when a guy is actually funny. A good pickup line will leave a woman with a lasting impression. But more often, women are exposed to guys who try so hard that they are female turn-offs.

With many women, it is a one-shot deal. Lame pickup lines or bad jokes will erase any opportunity a man may have of getting a date. Other women may let a few bad jokes slide, but when men continue, a woman’s interest tends to diminish.

If your relationship is suffering and you don’t know why, consider these female turn-offs. If your partner is guilty of any of the above-mentioned turn-offs for women and you don’t know how to confront him, perhaps you should leave this article where he will see it.

Are You Just Not That Into Him?
You've likely heard of the book titled * He's Just Not That Into You, but how are you feeling? * Are you not that into him either? * Many people stay in relationships because they are convenient or comfortable. Others don't even realize that they aren't all that into each other. Some men are just meant to be friends. Do you know the difference?

Have you considered turn-offs for women? Or do you tend to instantly like or dislike a man without knowing why? There was a time when women were predominately concerned with making themselves more appealing to the opposite sex. But now that many women prefer to choose instead of being chosen, their preferences demand attention. Here are 10 turn-offs for women of all ages and stages of their relationships.

1. Being Ignored
Being ignored is one of the main things that turn women off. From the first day of a relationship until death, most women expect their partners to be attentive. Most women judge how important they are to their partner, by how much attention they receive when expressing their concerns and opinions or when asking for advice.

When men act as though other things are more important or more interesting, or when they casually dismiss something that is important to a woman, they are setting the tone for a rocky, if not short, relationship. And when men engage in the common ploy of showing interest during the beginning stages of a relationship and allowing it to dwindle as the relationship progresses, they usually find that the woman’s attraction for him takes a similar dive.

2. The Wannabe Big Shot
Women are appalled by men who talk a big game knowing they do not have the means to follow through. Almost every woman has encountered the guy standing at the bar, bragging intentionally-loud so that everyone can hear him. Or even worse, the guy who picks you up in a rented BMW, pretending he is the owner.

Men often convince themselves that all women are after the guys with the biggest and the best of everything. This becomes a motive for those men to paint colorful and fictitious pictures of themselves. But in reality, women find this behavior disgusting, so instead of making themselves attractive, these guys become female turn-offs.

3. Self-Admiration
Some women get dinner and a movie. Other women get dinner and an earful of self-admiration when they go out on a date with a guy. Men who waste women’s time by inviting them on dates so they can spend the evening glorifying themselves are truly a bore.

A woman sitting across the table listening to her date gab about his university GPA, his honors, the sports he played, his stellar performance at work, and his new investment ideas is usually not impressed. She is probably bored to death and hoping never to be sentenced to another date with him.

4. Preoccupation with Sex
Whether it is a first date or a 10-year marriage, women do not want to feel as though sex is all that men want from them.

During the beginning of relationships, most women do not want to hear sexually explicit stories or comments and they do not care to discuss their past performances. This proves true even when women are dressed seductively and, ironically, even if they have had or are willing to have a one-night stand.

In long-term relationships, women don’t want men’s interest to be switched on when they are sexually aroused and switched off after intimacy occurs. Most women want to be caressed, fondled, complimented and otherwise shown affection and intimacy, even when their partners are not seeking sexual gratification.

5. Chauvinism
Despite what women accomplish and contribute to society, there are still men who act as if they are the superior sex. These men have many ways of displaying their attitude. Some, for example, have a belittling title for every woman. The cashier is little lady. The waitress is darling. And the bartender is sweet cheeks.

Other men belittle women’s efforts to perform what they believe to be male tasks. For example, a man may say “this little lady cop pulled me over and had the nerve to write me a ticket.” Whatever the chauvinist behavior, it never fails to be a turn-off for women.

6. Expecting the Woman to Take Care of the Kids
Some men have the misconception that motherhood is something that comes naturally and that women want to devote their lives to child-rearing. On the contrary, many women are as focused on their goals, careers, and social lives as men and they prefer to share family responsibilities.

These women do not want to be left home feeding babies and changing diapers while their partners maintain their normal business and social lives. This is one of the female turn-offs that takes a serious toll on a relationship.

7. Paying too Much Attention to Other Women
Men who look at other women, who talk about the physical attributes of other women, or who are too flirtatious are not likely to appeal to women.

It does not matter whether the woman is on TV or lying on a beach virtually naked.

Women like men who are respectful enough to pretend they do not notice. Furthermore, when a man and woman go out and they can barely make their way through a bar or club without the man getting hugs, rubs, waves, and winks, the man is not likely to score points with his date.

8. The Not-So-Courteous Approach
Whistling, using slang, or grabbing a woman’s elbow to get her attention are a few of the many things that turn women off when they are approached by a man. Descent women expect men who are interested in them to approach them thoughtfully and respectfully. Women always prefer a gentleman.

9. Poor Grooming Habits
The appeal of sweaty athletes or grungy musicians proves the magic of television and glossy magazines. In real life, women are not generally attracted to wet bodies or the odors that accompany them. A jogger who runs into the convenience store for a sports drink and expects to get your phone number will probably get disappointed instead.

Beyond basic hygiene, many women are calling for more. Recently a radio talk show’s topic was the double standard of appearance.

Most women who called in expressed displeasure and frustration at the fact that men want sleek, gorgeous women, yet they do not take care of themselves. Generally, men with pot bellies, dirty fingernails, and disheveled hair are turn-offs for women.

10. Bad Pick-Up Lines
A sense of humor can be a great thing— when a guy is actually funny. A good pickup line will leave a woman with a lasting impression. But more often, women are exposed to guys who try so hard that they are female turn-offs.

With many women, it is a one-shot deal. Lame pickup lines or bad jokes will erase any opportunity a man may have of getting a date. Other women may let a few bad jokes slide, but when men continue, a woman’s interest tends to diminish.

If your relationship is suffering and you don’t know why, consider these female turn-offs. If your partner is guilty of any of the above-mentioned turn-offs for women and you don’t know how to confront him, perhaps you should leave this article where he will see it.

Are You Just Not That Into Him?
You've likely heard of the book titled * He's Just Not That Into You, but how are you feeling? * Are you not that into him either? Many people stay in relationships because they are convenient or comfortable. Others don't even realize that they aren't all that into each other. Some men are just meant to be friends. Do you know the difference?

Have you considered turn-offs for women? Or do you tend to instantly like or dislike a man without knowing why? There was a time when women were predominately concerned with making themselves more appealing to the opposite sex. But now that many women prefer to choose instead of being chosen, their preferences demand attention. Here are 10 turn-offs for women of all ages and stages of their relationships.

1. Being Ignored
Being ignored is one of the main things that turn women off. From the first day of a relationship until death, most women expect their partners to be attentive. Most women judge how important they are to their partner, by how much attention they receive when expressing their concerns and opinions or when asking for advice.

When men act as though other things are more important or more interesting, or when they casually dismiss something that is important to a woman, they are setting the tone for a rocky, if not short, relationship. And when men engage in the common ploy of showing interest during the beginning stages of a relationship and allowing it to dwindle as the relationship progresses, they usually find that the woman's attraction for him takes a similar dive.

2. The Wannabe Big Shot
Women are appalled by men who talk a big game knowing they do not have the means to follow through. Almost every woman has encountered the guy standing at the bar, bragging intentionally-loud so that everyone can hear him. Or even worse, the guy who picks you up in a rented BMW, pretending he is the owner.

Men often convince themselves that all women are after the guys with the biggest and the best of everything. This becomes a motive for those men to paint colorful and fictitious pictures of themselves. But in reality, women find this behavior disgusting, so instead of making themselves attractive, these guys become female turn-offs.

3. Self-Admiration
Some women get dinner and a movie. Other women get dinner and an earful of self-admiration when they go out on a date with a guy. Men who waste women's time by inviting them on dates so they can spend the evening glorifying themselves are truly a bore.

A woman sitting across the table listening to her date gab about his university GPA, his honors, the sports he played, his stellar performance at work, and his new investment ideas is usually not impressed. She is probably bored to death and hoping never to be sentenced to another date with him.

4. Preoccupation with Sex
Whether it is a first date or a 10-year marriage, women do not want to feel as though sex is all that men want from them.

During the beginning of relationships, most women do not want to hear sexually explicit stories or comments and they do not care to discuss their past performances. This proves true even when women are dressed seductively and, ironically, even if they have had or are willing to have a one-night stand.

In long-term relationships, women don't want men's interest to be switched on when they are sexually aroused and switched off after intimacy occurs. Most women want to be caressed, fondled,complimented and otherwise shown affection and intimacy, even when their partners are not seeking sexual gratification.

5. Chauvinism
Despite what women accomplish and contribute to society, there are still men who act as if they are the superior sex. These men have many ways of displaying their attitude. Some, for example, have a belittling title for every woman. The cashier is little lady. The waitress is darling. And the bartender is sweet cheeks.

Other men belittle women'��s efforts to perform what they believe to be male tasks. For example, a man may say “this little lady cop pulled me over and had the nerve to write me a ticket.*�� Whatever the chauvinist behavior, it never fails to be a turn-off for women.

6. Expecting the Woman to Take Care of the Kids
Some men have the misconception that motherhood is something that comes naturally and that women want to devote their lives to child-rearing. On the contrary, many women are as focused on their goals, careers, and social lives as men and they prefer to share family responsibilities.

These women do not want to be left home feeding babies and changing diapers while their partners maintain their normal business and social lives. This is one of the female turn-offs that takes a serious toll on a relationship.

7. Paying too Much Attention to Other Women
Men who look at other women, who talk about the physical attributes of other women, or who are too flirtatious are not likely to appeal to women.

It does not matter whether the woman is on TV or lying on a beach virtually naked.

Women like men who are respectful enough to pretend they do not notice. Furthermore, when a man and woman go out and they can barely make their way through a bar or club without the man getting hugs, rubs, waves, and winks, the man is not likely to score points with his date.

8. The Not-So-Courteous Approach
Whistling, using slang, or grabbing a woman'��s elbow to get her attention are a few of the many things that turn women off when they are approached by a man. Descent women expect men who are interested in them to approach them thoughtfully and respectfully. Women always prefer a gentleman.

9. Poor Grooming Habits
The appeal of sweaty athletes or grungy musicians proves the magic of television and glossy magazines. In real life, women are not generally attracted to wet bodies or the odors that accompany them. A jogger who runs into the convenience store for a sports drink and expects to get your phone number will probably get disappointed instead.

Beyond basic hygiene, many women are calling for more. Recently a radio talk shows topic was the double standard of appearance.

Most women who called in expressed displeasure and frustration at the fact that men want sleek, gorgeous women, yet they do not take care of themselves. Generally, men with pot bellies, dirty fingernails, and disheveled hair are turn-offs for women.

10. Bad Pick-Up Lines
A sense of humor can be a great thing�� when a guy is actually funny. A good pickup line will leave a woman with a lasting impression. But more often, women are exposed to guys who try so hard that they are female turn-offs.

With many women, it is a one-shot deal. Lame pickup lines or bad jokes will erase any opportunity a man may have of getting a date. Other women may let a few bad jokes slide, but when men continue, a woman’s interest tends to diminish.

If your relationship is suffering and you don't know why, consider these female turn-offs. If your partner is guilty of any of the above-mentioned turn-offs for women and you don't know how to confront him, perhaps you should leave this article where he will see it.

Are You Just Not That Into Him?
You've likely heard of the book titled * He's Just Not That Into You, but how are you feeling? * Are you not that into him either? Many people stay in relationships because they are convenient or comfortable. Others don't even realize that they aren't all that into each other. Some men are just meant to be friends. Do you know the difference?

Perfect Imperfection

As painful as it may be to lose love, to end a relationship, the real pain is in holding on to a relationship too closely so it cannot grow. Both people in the relationship are harmed, both are shortchanged, for the strength and power of love is its ability to grow, to be unbounded, a wellspring never ceasing. It is, once again, balance.

A lot of what is written about love and relationships * reflected in movies, TV, novels, popular songs * does not describe love but dependency or, as the psychologists call it, codependency. You cannot live without someone, as the songs suggest? If that's true, you cannot live. Neither can you love. Sustaining love is self-sustaining, like life itself.

MORRIS AND HIS WIFE ESTHER WENT TO THE STATE FAIR EVERY
YEAR. EVERY YEAR, MORRIS WOULD SAY, "ESTHER, I'D LIKE TO
RIDE IN THAT HELICOPTER.

ESTHER ALWAYS REPLIED, " I KNOW MORRIS, BUT THAT HELICOPTER
RIDE IS 50 DOLLARS AND 50 DOLLARS IS 50 DOLLARS."

A FEW YEARS LATER, ESTHER AND MORRIS WENT TO THE FAIR.
MORRIS SAID, "ESTHER, I'M 85 YEARS OLD. IF I DON'T RIDE
THAT HELICOPTER NOW, I MIGHT NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE."

ESTHER REPLIED, "MORRIS, THAT HELICOPTER RIDE IS 50 DOLLARS
AND 50 DOLLARS IS 50 DOLLARS."

THE PILOT OVERHEARD THE COUPLE. HE SAID, "FOLKS, I'LL MAKE
YOU A DEAL. I'LL TAKE THE BOTH OF YOU FOR A RIDE. IF YOU CAN
STAY QUIET FOR THE ENTIRE RIDE AND NOT SAY A WORD, I WON'T
CHARGE YOU! BUT IF YOU SAY ONE WORD, IT'S 50 DOLLARS.

MORRIS AND ESTHER AGREED -- AND UP THEY WENT. THE PILOT DID
ALL KINDS OF FANCY MANEUVERS. BUT NOT A WORD WAS HEARD.
HE DID HIS DAREDEVIL TRICKS OVER AND OVER AGAIN, BUT STILL
NOT A WORD. WHEN THEY LANDED, THE PILOT TURNED TO MORRIS.
HE SAID, "BY GOLLY, I DID EVERYTHING I COULD TO GET YOU TO
YELL OUT, BUT YOU DIDN'T. I'M IMPRESSED .

MORRIS REPLIED, "WELL, I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING WHEN
ESTHER FELL OUT, BUT 50 DOLLARS IS 50 DOLLARS

I know love and lust don't always keep the same company.

Desperate is not a sexual preference.

But seduction isn't making someone do what they don'��t want to do.
Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.

The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.

Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.

Good luck seldom comes in pairs, but bad things never walk alone.

A man was exploring caves by the seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn't look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of the cave with him. As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could.

He thought little about it, until he dropped one of the clay balls and it cracked open on a rock. Inside was a beautiful, precious stone! Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each contained a similar treasure. He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left. Then it struck him. He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he had just thrown it away!

It's like that with people. We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel. It doesn't look like much from the outside. It isn't always beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it. We see that person as less important than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or wealthy but we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that person.

There is a treasure in each and every one of us. If we take the time to get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the
brilliant gem begins to shine forth. May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune in friendships because the gems were hidden in bits of clay. I am so blessed by the gems of friendship I have with of you. Thank you for looking beyond my clay vessel.

Such is the common process of marriage. A youth and maiden exchange meeting by chance, or brought together by artifice, exchange glances, reciprocate civilities, go home, and dream of one another. Having little to divert attention, or diversify thought, they find themselves uneasy when they are apart, and therefore conclude that they shall be happy together. They marry, and discover what nothing but voluntary blindness had before concealed; they wear out life in altercations, and charge nature with cruelty.

This is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life.

Marriage and Relationship Needs Differ For Men and Women.
He Needs a Playmate. She Needs a Loyal Friend.

When the man's and woman's needs are not met in marriages or relationships, they may part. Men usually enter a relationship or marriage expecting their mate/lover to be a playmate and share their recreational interests. Women enter a relationship or marriage hoping to find a loyal best friend. Men want a recreational companion. Women want a loyal companion.

Men need recreation in order to relax. Women need loyalty in order to feel secure. Marriage and relationships: men and women have different needs from marriages and relationships. Men need a playmate; women need a loyal companion. Both need their own interests but they also need interests that overlap. They need playtime together. Both need their own space and privacy but they also need to come together and support each other.

He needs a lot of recreational time together. She needs the support and loyalty that makes her feel secure. When a woman usually goes her way while a man usually goes his way, the "ways" often part. When he does not support her, she may look for security elsewhere. When she doesn't act as a recreational companion, he may look for a playmate elsewhere. A marriage relationship must meet the needs of both the man and the woman.

The Choice......

EVERY moment in life, we are faced with a choice.

Which should command our preference--the demands of our job or the duties to our family?

If there is a board meeting today at the same hours that our son
graduates from school, where should we go -- to the boardroom or to the graduation ceremony?

If we have to make a very important presentation tomorrow, so as to advance our career, but our wife says she has to see the doctor on a suspicion of cancer, which appointment should we keep?

These are the daily battles of conscience we have to wage, trying to
keep a balance between our responsibility to earn a living and our
opportunity to live a life.
And our choices invariably reveal who we really are.
Our preferences indicate our true character.
Our priorities are the best indicators of our real identity.

What profits success?

I know that many of you out there would go for career on the pretension that after all, you are doing all these for the family. Many of you, dear readers, would rather become outstanding employees, model personnel instead of being doting fathers or loving husbands.

Many of you would opt to perform exceedingly well in the office even
if you work 12 to 16 hours a day, going home only to change clothes
or catch a few hours of sleep.

But what for? At the end of the day, what have you accomplished?

What profits a highly successful professional or wealthy businessman if ultimately, he loses his family, wrecks his marriage or dishonors the name he will leave to his children?

What has a rich man accomplished if he has built a fortune and founded conglomerates of highly profitable companies and yet drives his own wife to vices or infidelity, his children to drugs and delinquency and himself to spiritual decay and total burnout?

What matters most?

Look around you.
The evidence is overwhelming and irreversible.
Families are shattered.
Marriages are broken.
Lives are reduced to utter emptiness.

Even as man advances in wealth and success, he deteriorates on the basic standards of joy, peace and serenity. As we all compete and struggle for power and possessions, we often neglect what really matters most. In our insatiable mania for supremacy over the rest, we often forget the most important things in life.

I will respect your choice. But as for me, my priorities are clear. Between career and family, I will always go for family.

I can forego that board meeting and earn the ire of my boss or make a bad impression on my peers. But I shall not inflict a lifetime trauma on my son by sending him alone to graduate without his dad. I can forget that business presentation and lose a valued client or waste a career promotion, but I cannot leave my wife alone in her moments of anxiety.

Meaningless?

Why should a well-known public figure commit suicide given all his fame and fortune? Can his wealth and wisdom compensate for ruptures in his relationships?

Why should a wife of a famous politician commit adultery with the family driver? Is it lust or vain fixation for the pleasures of the flesh? Or is it the pain of being neglected and ignored by the husband she used to adore?

Why should a son cut his wrist or a daughter drink poison despite all the luxuries and pleasures they are showered with?

Can money replace love ?
Can pleasure take the place of affections ?

In this age of top line technology and convenience gadgets, why are humans talking to computers rather than with each other? Why are we retrenching people and replacing them with robots and machines?

Why have we lost the simple joys of nurturing relationships with bank tellers because we have replaced them with ATMs?

Why, with all our cells, e-mails, Internets, websites or the endemic texting, are we no longer communicating? Why are family members no longer talking to each other?

The ultimate hell?

To succeed in career and fail in the family is, to me, the ultimate hell.

John Grisham, that famous author of legal fictions wrote * The Testament,* which tells of a highly successful industrialist who made billions of dollars but lost his family.

In the first 10 pages of the novel, he jumped to his death from his multi-story building in front of his self-centered children. By his will, he disinherited all of them and bequeathed his entire estate to an illegitimate daughter who refused to accept it.

That is the ultimate irony; those who lusted for money lost it. Those who were given all the money refused it.

In all his dozen masterpieces, Grisham tells us about the importance of family. "A Time to Kill" tells of a father who went to jail for killing his daughter's rapists.

Indeed, we who are simple folks should learn from the mistakes of others. We should straighten our lives and put our priorities in order.

I don't know about you.

But as for me and my house, our credo is: There is no success in a career that can make up for a failure in the family.

���=======���=======������=======���=======���

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower view points. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and
back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, over weight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose, Your Loving Faith.

The Choice......

EVERY moment in life, we are faced with a choice.

Which should command our preference--the demands of our job or the duties to our family?

If there is a board meeting today at the same hours that our son
graduates from school, where should we go -- to the boardroom or to the graduation ceremony?

If we have to make a very important presentation tomorrow, so as to advance our career, but our wife says she has to see the doctor on a suspicion of cancer, which appointment should we keep?

These are the daily battles of conscience we have to wage, trying to
keep a balance between our responsibility to earn a living and our
opportunity to live a life.
And our choices invariably reveal who we really are.
Our preferences indicate our true character.
Our priorities are the best indicators of our real identity.

What profits success?

I know that many of you out there would go for career on the pretension that after all, you are doing all these for the family. Many of you, dear readers, would rather become outstanding employees, model personnel instead of being doting fathers or loving husbands.

Many of you would opt to perform exceedingly well in the office even
if you work 12 to 16 hours a day, going home only to change clothes
or catch a few hours of sleep.

But what for? At the end of the day, what have you accomplished?

What profits a highly successful professional or wealthy businessman if ultimately, he loses his family, wrecks his marriage or dishonors the name he will leave to his children?

What has a rich man accomplished if he has built a fortune and founded conglomerates of highly profitable companies and yet drives his own wife to vices or infidelity, his children to drugs and delinquency and himself to spiritual decay and total burnout?

What matters most?

Look around you.
The evidence is overwhelming and irreversible.
Families are shattered.
Marriages are broken.
Lives are reduced to utter emptiness.

Even as man advances in wealth and success, he deteriorates on the basic standards of joy, peace and serenity. As we all compete and struggle for power and possessions, we often neglect what really matters most. In our insatiable mania for supremacy over the rest, we often forget the most important things in life.

I will respect your choice. But as for me, my priorities are clear. Between career and family, I will always go for family.

I can forego that board meeting and earn the ire of my boss or make a bad impression on my peers. But I shall not inflict a lifetime trauma on my son by sending him alone to graduate without his dad. I can forget that business presentation and lose a valued client or waste a career promotion, but I cannot leave my wife alone in her moments of anxiety.

Meaningless?

Why should a well-known public figure commit suicide given all his fame and fortune? Can his wealth and wisdom compensate for ruptures in his relationships?

Why should a wife of a famous politician commit adultery with the family driver? Is it lust or vain fixation for the pleasures of the flesh? Or is it the pain of being neglected and ignored by the husband she used to adore?

Why should a son cut his wrist or a daughter drink poison despite all the luxuries and pleasures they are showered with?

Can money replace love ?
Can pleasure take the place of affections ?

In this age of top line technology and convenience gadgets, why are humans talking to computers rather than with each other? Why are we retrenching people and replacing them with robots and machines?

Why have we lost the simple joys of nurturing relationships with bank tellers because we have replaced them with ATMs?

Why, with all our cells, e-mails, Internets, websites or the endemic texting, are we no longer communicating? Why are family members no longer talking to each other?

The ultimate hell?

To succeed in career and fail in the family is, to me, the ultimate hell.

John Grisham, that famous author of legal fictions wrote * The Testament,* which tells of a highly successful industrialist who made billions of dollars but lost his family.

In the first 10 pages of the novel, he jumped to his death from his multi-story building in front of his self-centered children. By his will, he disinherited all of them and bequeathed his entire estate to an illegitimate daughter who refused to accept it.

That is the ultimate irony; those who lusted for money lost it. Those who were given all the money refused it.

In all his dozen masterpieces, Grisham tells us about the importance of family. "A Time to Kill" tells of a father who went to jail for killing his daughter's rapists.

Indeed, we who are simple folks should learn from the mistakes of others. We should straighten our lives and put our priorities in order.

I don't know about you.

But as for me and my house, our credo is: There is no success in a career that can make up for a failure in the family.

���=======���=======������=======���=======���

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower view points. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and
back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, over weight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose, Your Loving Faith.

The Choice......

EVERY moment in life, we are faced with a choice.

Which should command our preference--the demands of our job or the duties to our family?

If there is a board meeting today at the same hours that our son
graduates from school, where should we go -- to the boardroom or to the graduation ceremony?

If we have to make a very important presentation tomorrow, so as to advance our career, but our wife says she has to see the doctor on a suspicion of cancer, which appointment should we keep?

These are the daily battles of conscience we have to wage, trying to
keep a balance between our responsibility to earn a living and our
opportunity to live a life.
And our choices invariably reveal who we really are.
Our preferences indicate our true character.
Our priorities are the best indicators of our real identity.

What profits success?

I know that many of you out there would go for career on the pretension that after all, you are doing all these for the family. Many of you, dear readers, would rather become outstanding employees, model personnel instead of being doting fathers or loving husbands.

Many of you would opt to perform exceedingly well in the office even
if you work 12 to 16 hours a day, going home only to change clothes
or catch a few hours of sleep.

But what for? At the end of the day, what have you accomplished?

What profits a highly successful professional or wealthy businessman if ultimately, he loses his family, wrecks his marriage or dishonors the name he will leave to his children?

What has a rich man accomplished if he has built a fortune and founded conglomerates of highly profitable companies and yet drives his own wife to vices or infidelity, his children to drugs and delinquency and himself to spiritual decay and total burnout?

What matters most?

Look around you.
The evidence is overwhelming and irreversible.
Families are shattered.
Marriages are broken.
Lives are reduced to utter emptiness.

Even as man advances in wealth and success, he deteriorates on the basic standards of joy, peace and serenity. As we all compete and struggle for power and possessions, we often neglect what really matters most. In our insatiable mania for supremacy over the rest, we often forget the most important things in life.

I will respect your choice. But as for me, my priorities are clear. Between career and family, I will always go for family.

I can forego that board meeting and earn the ire of my boss or make a bad impression on my peers. But I shall not inflict a lifetime trauma on my son by sending him alone to graduate without his dad. I can forget that business presentation and lose a valued client or waste a career promotion, but I cannot leave my wife alone in her moments of anxiety.

Meaningless?

Why should a well-known public figure commit suicide given all his fame and fortune? Can his wealth and wisdom compensate for ruptures in his relationships?

Why should a wife of a famous politician commit adultery with the family driver? Is it lust or vain fixation for the pleasures of the flesh? Or is it the pain of being neglected and ignored by the husband she used to adore?

Why should a son cut his wrist or a daughter drink poison despite all the luxuries and pleasures they are showered with?

Can money replace love ?
Can pleasure take the place of affections ?

In this age of top line technology and convenience gadgets, why are humans talking to computers rather than with each other? Why are we retrenching people and replacing them with robots and machines?

Why have we lost the simple joys of nurturing relationships with bank tellers because we have replaced them with ATMs?

Why, with all our cells, e-mails, Internets, websites or the endemic texting, are we no longer communicating? Why are family members no longer talking to each other?

The ultimate hell?

To succeed in career and fail in the family is, to me, the ultimate hell.

John Grisham, that famous author of legal fictions wrote * The Testament,* which tells of a highly successful industrialist who made billions of dollars but lost his family.

In the first 10 pages of the novel, he jumped to his death from his multi-story building in front of his self-centered children. By his will, he disinherited all of them and bequeathed his entire estate to an illegitimate daughter who refused to accept it.

That is the ultimate irony; those who lusted for money lost it. Those who were given all the money refused it.

In all his dozen masterpieces, Grisham tells us about the importance of family. "A Time to Kill" tells of a father who went to jail for killing his daughter's rapists.

Indeed, we who are simple folks should learn from the mistakes of others. We should straighten our lives and put our priorities in order.

I don't know about you.

But as for me and my house, our credo is: There is no success in a career that can make up for a failure in the family.

���=======���=======������=======���=======���

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower view points. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and
back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, over weight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose, Your Loving Faith.