Thanks Dolphin for excellent illustration and a warm welcome.

I often read adverts in news papers - "With profound grief and sorrow, we inform you of the demise of.............."
And then I look at the life span of the person - in most cases it is between 75 to 90 years. And I wonder.
Yes, loosing a close one is never easy, no matter how young or old. But why have "grief" if someone has lead a good, full life and gone away? Why want them to carry on living and then suffer in old age ? I think one should be content if our elders pass away without the miseries which come with old age. More than 'age' , health should be the yardstick.
I know it is not in my hands, but I would be happy to cross to the other world by the time I reach 70. And please don't express grief and sorrow then, as I would have lived my life nearly the way and for as long as I wanted to.

Saw a contact called "Iron man"
on Wife's phone....
Little terrified , I asked her. Who's he?
She said," man who irons the cloths!"

lol just to make you and all clear that my profile pic is not of me......sorry for hiding my real face but there are some issues for doing that.

Share your smile with the world.It's a symbol of friendship and peace.
How many of you do agree with this statement?

A Construction Supervisor from 16th Floor of a Building was calling a Worker on Ground Floor.
Because of noise
the Worker
did not hear his Call.
To draw Attention,
the Supervisor threw a 10 dollars
in Front of Worker.
He picked up and, put it in His Pocket &
Continued to Work.
Again to Draw Attention the Supervisor threw 500 dollars & the Worker did the same,
Now the Supervisor picked a small Stone & threw on the Worker.
The Stone hit the Worker.
This time the Worker looked Up &
the Supervisor Communicated with Him.
.
.
This Story is same as to our 'LIFE'...
God wants to Communicate with Us,
but We are Busy doing our Worldly Jobs.
Then, he give Us Small Gifts & Big Gifts......
We just keep them without looking from Where We Got it.
We are the Same.
Just keeping the gifts
without Thanking him,
We just say
We are LUCKY.
And when we are Hit with a Small Stone, which We call PROBLEMS,
then only We look Up & Communicate with him.
Thats why it is said. .....
He gives, gives and forgives
And
We get, get and forget.......
Always thank God

Difference between talent and God gift:
A man can give lecture for 2 hours on many subjects. This is talent
A woman can give lecture for 2 hour without any subject - this is a God gift!

What two things can never be eaten for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner

What is so special about Pretty Bunny’s jewellery?
It is made from 14 carrot (carrat) gold

Where can you always find a tiger’s head?
Four feet from its tail.

What's brown and runny?
Usain Bolt.

How do you make one disappear?
Add a ‘g’ or an ‘n’ to ‘one’!

Very Funny:

if a girl says - I don't like shopping...than marry her!

After making girlfriends, guys actually know how costly the life style is.

Wife: What is the spelling of Happiness
Husband: U.N.M.A.R.R.I.E.D.

Some kids are so cute that after seeing them - we desire to meet their moms..

Beggar Gets 10 cents from madam on red light.
Her shouts: this is not fair..
Madam: Why?
Beggar: One last red light, you donated USD 10..
Mada,m: How did you know?
Beggar: While showing his apple phone, see he shouted in group on whatsapp!

Kid: My teacher is cute and beautiful.
Dad: Son, teacher is like mother.
Kid: Selfish, you always think o your self.

One interesting word in English.
Oxymoron:
An Oxymoron is defined as a phrase in which two words of opposite meaninsgs are brought together....
Here are some funny oxymoron's :
1) Clearly Misunderstood.
2) Exact Estimate.
3) Small Crowd.
4) Act Naturally.
5) Found Missing.
6) Fully Empty.
7) Pretty Ugly.
8) Seriously Funny.
9) Only Choice.
10) Original Copies...
And people say the Mother of all Oxymorons is-
11) "Happily Married"

business suit...as on work right now.

thanks mzrosie

A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station.

“I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”

“Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.

“No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”

Thanks mzrosie

Politics......hahaha

GF - Can you please learn to share just like I share everything with you.
BF- what's wrong with you now.
GF- You are a selfish man
BF- Can you please tell me what the hell did i do?
GF - That folder on your laptop.. Its called 'My Documents'. Why couldn't you name it as 'Our Documents'.. I hate you...

3 friends lived in a flat on the 100th floor... One day when the lift was not working they decided to tell each other stories as they walked up the stairs. The 1st told a comic story till the 50th floor, 2nd told an action story till the 99th floor and the 3rd told a horror story in just 1 sentence -

"I forgot the flat keys in the car...

you are a dashing man !!

What's the best compliment you've ever received here on Mingle2?

"The audience see a joker as a joker;
But the joker sees himself as a performer.
No matter what others think about you, it's your life - just go on with confidence..!!"
This is my view on me........how about you people?

rightly said.

Who is more complicated gender: men or women?