Every 8.37 words i used to say was a swear word, at the moment this has increased to every 5.49 words. I have recently become a dad, so i am getting my swearing in now while he is too young to understand.

if DTHRomeo was naked and wanting to rub me all over with tuna fish

I don't mean to be picky but...

Why was she charged in dollars in a London hotel?

and $250 would be about the cost of one of London's cheaper hotels!

plus Aberdeen, Glasgow and Edinburgh entertainers? Really? People would pay money to see that?!

Please do better next time, Jack!

You become immune to beggars when you are surrounded by them. I live fairly close to the main financial centre of London and whenever i am there i get approached several times without fail. Because there are a lot of people with a lot of money, the professional beggars are drawn in. Last time i was there a fella came up to me with a massive gash on his arm and blood dripping everywhere, asking me for money for a taxi to the hospital, i was almost convinced, but it didnt look quite right. Plus he could have just called an ambulance instead of a taxi. People go to all kinds of lengths to fool you, so i make it simple and trust none of them and give to none of them.

Whats the what with what?

I have no idea which of my forum friends on here are on my list, i dont really pay any attention to it, i find it kinda pointless. You can only see a few of the people on your home page too.

There was a preacher outside the train station the other day and he asked me if i would like one of his leaflets. 'No i f***** well do not', i replied. I would have liked to have stayed around for a bit to advise him that i would not even wipe my backside with it, but i had a bus to catch.

That is how to be respectful.

I could have ignored him, but that would have been rude. I could have taken the leaflet and discarded it later, but that would have made him think i was interested, and would therefore be a lie. I could have just said no thank you, but he would not have learnt my true feelings about the matter. He chose to engage with me, and i gave him the most honest reponse i could.

He did not even thank me for it.

British birth control usually involves ejaculating into an arse funnel.

Thanks again peeps.

Experienced my first projectile poop last night, luckily it was Lisa changing him at the time and it went over her. Unluckily it went over our bed sheets too. That much poo should not be able to come out of a boy so small.

If he gets any cuter i may have to arrange for a DNA test just to double check!

He cannot tear himself away from Lisa'a boobs, which was one of my traits too, so i do think he is mine! (Im biding my time, i will claim ownership of those puppies back one day!).

Thanks all!

Thanks!

Monday socks in both pictures! lol! He does own more than one pair i promise.

He weighed 8 Pounds exactly.

And one without my ugly mug spoiling the picture

Quick enough for ya?

Dammit!

Can you not post links direct from facebook?

Hi all, not been here in a while, been kinda busy becoming a dad!

Meet my boy Alfie, born on 17th December.



Hope you all have had a good Christmas!

I dont think it will, although i am pretty sure some of the Royals would have had their phones hacked as well.

Thank you JB!

Spot on too, there are several things i need to get of my butt and sort out!

Who gives a damn what Goldie does with her horn? There certainly doesnt need to be a discussion about it.