Dear Diary,
I only have about two more months or so to go till halloween.... the ape suit i ordered should hopefully be coming in soon. and when it does, i can practice breakdancing in a monkey suit. Then when halloween comes, i can finally live out my dream of dressing up in a monkey costume, going to the super market, Buy a good 30 dollars worth of bananas. checkout, Give out free banana's and of course... DANCE !!!!!!

wrote this waaay back, but thought id share it with you all =), most if not all people im sure can relate to such inner struggles ...


Alliances tremble becoming unstable. Jumping around back and fourth it mixes

the weight of this darkness hisses

my will soon to buckle. I see no light but ahead shines the past. I Seek freedom from this mess ! Just let me out ! freedom please at last!

I shout in protest!

Seeking a dream that I admire so keen.

Why must fate be so cruel and mean?

to wonder if I should fight for the things I seek,

fear holding on as I feel my ambition slipping away soon gone.

Oh how long must this continue to go on?

Fight on one must

this inner battle really sucks.

To fight for the things you believe In the most, these dreams fleeting like the image of a ghost.

Why must I desire this of all things the most?

Rewards never come so easy.

My mind, heart and soul becoming so dizzy.

Tempers rise as confusion sinks in.

Deception sings its dirge such a sad and lonely whim.

Truth , lies whom is true while speaking to my eyes?

Pull me here and tear me there, this craziness I can no longer bare.

The comfort of the deep dark night my hiding place brings.

Shame that its such a lonely song the birds that live there sing.

So I pray, better yet I open up my voice and sing!

How long must one wait till this heart pumps full and strong.

I wonder what it is that I keep doing wrong.

I suppose we shall never know what the future holds and what fate shall bring.

To be human I suppose to have such dreams.

To bleed, hurt, and have your spirit broken.

But without such pain how can we expect for us to ever know what its like to be truly open?

This battle furious and yet so gentle.

Its amazing what can happen between two people.

Each soul linked to the other,

So far apart yet we still smother.

Living life but only once…so I suppose we all must do what we must.

No second chances for we only get one turn.

Perhaps these are the lessons we must learn.

Break free from the chains of other peoples minds!

Only then peace shall we find.

This body made of glass however this soul is made of stone.

Sometimes we must do what we must to separate ourselves from the common drones.

It is my life that I control and own.

Be gone Demons !

For my faith is strong even if at times misleading!

And its because of this, I shall never be truly alone.

For there will always be me , myself and I.

That kind of tie can not be broken although many try.

So one more time I shall try again. No matter how it shall all end.

To know you have done what you can.

Perhaps that's when such sleepless nights finally come to an end.


So only time will tell how this story unfolds, for I do know this….

If such rewards came so easy, then their value and worth would be cheapened.

Only the ones whom are worthy and do their best shall reap the rewards of life's tests.

Even if the outcome is unfavorable still at least we come out of it knowing in our hearts we did our best.

Sooner or later we are bound to run into success.

old crew still lurking the pages =P

working, sleeping, same old , same old, and you ??

these teeth look rodent?

Rodent?! whaaaaaa

did the hamster poop come from a hamster with wettail? if soooo... well....um.yea...

my mommy always said i can be anythning i want when i grow up..

age 5- "i wanna be a ninga turtle when i grow up!"

age 8- " i wanna be like that homeless guy when i grow up!"

age 12- " I wanna be like that fat crazy redneck guy on jerry springer
when i grow up"

age 15- " I want to be a porn star when i grow up"

age 18 - "Looking mommy im a stripper"

ang 20 - " look mommy im a stripper and a man hoe"

age 22 - " look mommy im a online stripper and a man hoe, and **** i
still got the most badass cardboard box on the block back when i was a
bum."

im going places...yes indeed sssiirrr, go me... i rock

i was given one of them mini bibles once while working at a fast food
place in the drive through... iv had it since..
its the perfect size for keeping the shelf in the bathroom level.

kami no-Divine being
risu- squirrel
pulled it out of a japanese-english dictionary
i think the right way to spell it though is Risu Kami No
but whatever works =P

i wanna be cool and fresh and new too

hahaha crash
u work retail ?
( to pic thing on profile)

what the hell?
who the hell would dare send such a cruel thing? well one thing is for
sure.. they dont know how to speak to women...and im sure its for the
best...
can only ignore such rude comments, its very apparnt they have no idea
what beauty is

no sorry i dont have Dylxesai, but i do have this thing called
Iasexlyd.

well i'll pop back in later =)

well guess all one can do is lurk...and wait.... =)
cuz this fuzzy is hungry

defiant-free thinker/stoner( dispite never doing nothing...i got insomia
=(.)
that everyone knew and talked with. was kinda creepy when someone knows
your name and acts like they knew you forever when you never seen them
before.